111 Times This Online Group Roasted Ridiculous Names (New Pics)

“No, we can’t name her that because there was a girl in middle school by that name who bullied me. No, no, that’s my cousin’s name. That rhymes with a bad word, and kids will definitely figure it out by second grade. No, I don’t like that name. That’s too common. That’s too long and difficult to spell. I give up! Let’s just make up a name!”

If you’re a parent, there is a good chance you’re familiar with the experience of spending months searching high and low for the perfect name for your little one. Choosing a name can be extremely daunting at first, when you’re unsure of what will be common or popular 5, 10, or 50 years from now, and if you had to deal with name-based bullying as a child, you want to protect your kids from the same fate. But when in doubt, I always like to say “better safe than sorry”. Because if you get too creative with your child’s name, you might end up paying the price by being mocked online…

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Below, we’ve gathered some of our favorite posts from the Name Nerds Jerks subreddit that is dedicated to name-shaming, as well as an interview with the group’s moderator team to gain some insight about the community. As its description states, “No name is safe.” So be sure to upvote all of the posts featuring names that you can’t believe are actually on birth certificates somewhere out there, and then let us know in the comments what the most ridiculous baby names you’ve ever heard are. While we can only hope that some of these names are satire, it appears that parents worldwide have become a bit too confident breaking tradition and concocting their own “names”. Enjoy this list, and then if you are looking for suggestions to send your arch-enemy when they are naming their next child, check out Bored Panda’s last article on this same subreddit right here.

#1 ?‍♀️

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To learn more about how the Name Nerds Jerks group began, we reached out to the moderator team on Reddit. “This sub started as a joke – there was a post on the main Name Nerds sub that inspired me to comment about how we needed [another] sub,” one of the moderators, Kydashian, told Bored Panda. “Meg (another moderator) responded that she made it, and then my exact comment was ‘mod me, daddy’. Boom, new sub.”

“I don’t think either of us ever thought there were going to be this many like-minded jerks, but it has been so much fun! I think our community has taken off because it’s a place where you can truly be honest and have other people chime in,” Kydashian explained. “If you ask your cousin what they named their baby and they respond with something ridiculous, you’re probably going to smile and say something kind. However, you bring that name to our subreddit, and we’re all going to laugh with you. Like any subreddit, there are some ‘go-to comments’ that show up on the main, that we will comment as a joke and it’s just a fun place to laugh at the absurdity of it all. I dare you to post ‘I’m thinking of Juniper’ and let the sub tell you what they think. I think we’re a good outlet for some people to be able to joke around and let off steam over some petty things.”

#2 This Sub Has Ruined Me. I Saw This And Immediately Started Thinking Up Nicknames

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We also asked if they had any advice for people considering making up a name for their children. “Thinking of naming your kid something unique that you made up? [We] have one piece of advice: Don’t.”

“But seriously – children grow up to have their own full adult lives and will have to sign their mortgage, apply for jobs, and have professional relationships for the majority of their lives,” Kydashian shared. “Keep that in mind!”

The group is lighthearted and fun, but the moderators raise some valid points. Please don’t make your children’s lives easier the second you name them.

#3 ~*literaleigh*~

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It’s completely understandable that naming children is a difficult task. Parents want to choose a name that they truly love and feel connected to, but many of them have also become irrationally fearful of common names. As individualism has permeated many cultures around the world, parents often want their kids to stand out as soon as they come into the world. As one parent is usually pregnant and full of hormones before a baby comes, it can be hard to have clear judgment and make decisions about naming that are reasonable. But at the end of the day, it’s not fair to these kids who are stuck with atrocious and unfortunate names. They are the ones who will be correcting people’s pronunciation their entire lives, and they’re the ones who will deal with potential mocking and bullying in school.

At the end of the day, you can name your child whatever you like. It’s just smart to weigh the pros and cons before choosing an absurd name. And maybe groups like this subreddit can prevent some well-intentioned parents from inflicting name pain on their children. Say what you want about common names, but I don’t think a girl named Sarah or a boy named John have ever been tormented for their names. And they certainly haven’t spent decades fixing pronunciation and spelling. Maybe a letter or two, sure, but not the painful spelling out of every single letter multiple times until a receptionist finally finds their appointment. And no child should be doomed to a life of saying, “Hi, my name is Dreem Genuhsyss Aquarium.”   

#4 Son Of A Ditch

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#5 Someone’s A Superfan

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#6 This Post On Facebook Got Me. This Is (Some Of) The Future

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It’s amazing that some of these baby names were actually signed off on for multiple reasons, one of which being that both parents agreed on the name. Of course, not every child has two parents around at birth. But every parent should have a few family members or close friends that they discussed their baby names with as well. Yet somehow, there are children out there named Abcde and Imunique. According to one survey though, Kinzleighanne probably did not get her name overnight. Apparently, 75% of first-time parents argue over what to name their child. In fact, baby names are the number one thing expecting parents argue over, beating out whether or not the mother should return to work and whether or not to have a second child by a longshot. 

And when it comes to why baby names have become so loose over recent years, Laura Wattenberg, creator of BabyNameWizard.com told Today, “I liken baby names to the dress code. We’ve thrown away the office dress code when it comes to naming. We’ve seen a revolution in naming where there is no such thing as a ‘normal’ name. And, while there is still a number one name, it’s only a fraction as popular as the number one name was years ago.”

#7 ✨pia✨

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#8 Rock, Middle Name Bob

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#9 Or There’s Always Natalawn

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After the initial excitement of finding out you’re expecting a child wears off, it’s time to start discussing names. And while many parents like to wait until they know the child’s sex to start narrowing down names, it can still become a very heated topic. So if your partner starts suggesting names like Tryxtynn or Drittney, Carrie Felton recommends a few ways you can shoot down their suggestions without causing a fight on her blog Stuck On You. She suggests creating a no-go list from the beginning and agreeing on a set number of ‘vetoes’ that you and your partner both get, so nobody starts getting their hopes up about a name that the other person truly hates. But when you’ve narrowed down the list a bit and there are still names you would like to discard, here are a few ways to turn your partner off to those names. One suggestion (that might be questionable but should certainly do the trick) is telling your partner about a past lover who had that name. “Allow your eyes to glaze over while you coo dreamily about that magical night you spent with a hot surfer named Humphrey,” Carrie writes. You can tell your partner that it was not reason enough to veto the name, but if it bothers them, it might be best to pick something else. 

#10 Mom Sent Me This Text Today. Possibly The Worst Name I’ve Seen

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#11 &y

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#12 Ooof. The 9 Of Them Also Live In A 200 Square Foot Bus

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Another tactic Carrie suggests for deterring your partner from fighting for a name you despise is to do your research about famous disgraced athletes, murderers, drug smugglers, etc. with that name. If you can convince them that many people will have a negative association with that name, you might be able to persuade them to start looking for other options. Finally, she says that good old-fashioned guilt can usually do the trick too. Both partners should love and be excited about the child’s name, so there is no point in settling on a name that one person won’t be thrilled to share with their friends and family. And as Carrie adds, “Depending on where you live, you will have about two months to finalize your baby’s name after birth so there’s no huge rush.” If, for some reason, the two of you still can’t decide upon meeting your baby, you can live with them for a month or two before picking a name that perfectly suits them.   

#13 Song Is Forever Changed In My Head Now

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#14 This Mom Needs Her Naming Rights Taken Away

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#15 Please Tell Me This Is One Of You Trolling ??‍♀️

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Depending on where you live, you might have time after the baby is born to finalize a name, but you also might have strict laws in relation to what your baby can be called. Certain countries have approved baby name lists, which can frustrate some parents, but can also protect children from being named Anuhsteezia. In New Zealand, for example, there is a list of banned baby names, including Christ, Messiah, Lucifer and Justice. One would hope that parents would never dream of calling their children many of the names featured on this list, but unfortunately, the list does exist for a reason. Without restrictions in place, New Zealand would have at least 31 ‘King’s, 28 ‘Princess’es, 7 ‘Majesty’s and 25 ‘Royal’s. Apparently, some names still slip through the cracks though. According to CNN, New Zealand has at least one person named Violence and another named Number 16 Bus Shelter. 

#16 A Baby Named Moon Moon. Featuring Other Adorable Babies With Terrible Names

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#17 How Do You Even Fix Your Mouth To Say These Words??

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#18 I Know Nick Cannon Gets Posted A Lot, But Baby #9 Is Confirmed On The Way… Here Are Is Other 8 Kids Names

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According to The Washington Post, at least 12 countries currently have legislation in place regarding baby naming, including Germany, Spain, Portugal, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Japan and Malaysia. Some nations, such as the Scandinavian democracies, have these rules in place to look out for the well-being of children and their future reputations. On the other hand, some countries, like Morocco, have banned names of certain ethnic groups. But there can also be logistical reasons for restricting certain names. Some states in the US, for example, don’t allow for diacritics to be in registered names. This means that if you would like to name your child José, he will be legally registered as Jose. 

#19 Username Checks Out

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#20 Planning Ahead

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#21 I’m Sorry….truxtyn??????

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But aside from the attempted use of foreign characters or names that are just too long for government databases to handle, governments in some of these countries have rejected other names just because they are absurd (or offensive). Sweden has stopped children from being named Metallica, Superman, Veranda, Ikea, and Elvis, while Germany has rejected Matti, Osama bin Laden and Adolf Hitler as baby names. In Japan, someone tried to name their child Akuma, or devil, and in China someone simply wanted to name their baby @. New Zealand has also turned down Anal, 5th, V8 and *. Yes, someone wanted to name their child just an asterisk.

#22 Found In My Facebook Bumper Group

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#23 Saw This And I Love It Lmaoo

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#24 Tl;dr: We Pulled A Name Out Of Our Collective A** For Our Kid And Are Outraged That People Mispronounce It

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Plenty of  thought should go into naming our beloved children, but we have to think about the future as well. When a kid is given a name that is extremely difficult to pronounce or spell, their life is just made harder. Parents must remember not to be selfish when naming their kids. As exciting as it feels to have the power to name your little one (almost) anything you want, don’t abuse that power. Think about what it will be like when they’re 5, 10, 20, and 50. Most people will not be thinking, “Wow, your parents are so cool for giving you a unique name!” when they encounter a Juztiss. They will likely be thinking, “Wow, you should get that name changed ASAP.” There are plenty of interesting and beautiful names that will stand the test of time. If you do enough research, I promise you’ll find one you like.  

#25 When You Change The Spelling Of A Common Name And Get Surprised That The General Public Can’t Pronounce It

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#26 I Just

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#27 Some Celeb Ones I’ve Seen Today

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We hope you’re enjoying this list of ridiculous names people have bestowed upon their children for some reason. As funny as they may be, please remember them if you’re ever having a child, and don’t make the same mistakes these people have. I absolutely love my name, but I have still had to deal with my fair share of mispronunciations, misspellings and “Can I just call you a nickname instead?” throughout my life. I can only imagine how terrible it would be if my parents had named me Juse Bocks or Deevagurl. Keep upvoting the posts you find most atrocious, and then let us know in the comments what the worst baby name you’ve ever heard was. 

#28 List Of Names At My Lunch Lady Friends Elementary School…

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#29 Hureigh!

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#30 Some On-The-Nose Landlord Names From The 11th C

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#31 11 Babies Named Arson Last Year ??‍♀️??‍♀️

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#32 Scrolling Through My Facebook And

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#33 I Have So Many Problems With This Post Idk Even Where To Start ??‍♀️?

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#34 From Hp Sub

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#35 Louder For The R/Namenerds At The Back

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#36 This Is Literally Not What Synestesia Is. Literally Anyone Can Feel A ‘Vibe’ From A Name

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#37 Don’t Let The New Moms Get Their Hands On This One

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#38 Grandma Jr

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#39 Every Day On This Sub I Must Practise Restraint

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#40 Op Isnt Sure If Cleopatra Sounds Like A ‘Teen Mom Name’ Or Not

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#41 From The Downloadable Social Security Baby Name Records Of 2021. The Number After The Name Is How Much They Were Used

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#42 Because Who Would Hate The Name Notch?

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#43 So Many Twin Moms Pick The Worst Names

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#44 From The Pediatrician’s Office

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#45 Medical Terms As *pretty Girl Names*

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#46 Seen On Facebook. People Pointed Out The Obvious, She Refused To Back Down

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#47 My Father Will Hear About This (If You Know, You Know)

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#48 I Hope This Is Fake

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#49 We All Know Which Plant Name Was Suggested Most. Bonus Points If You Can Guess My Suggestion

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#50 At This Point, It’s Quite Possible That’s Their Names

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#51 I Think I’ve Found The Perfect Name!

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#52 Kynlee

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#53 Oh Boy

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#54 Found Over The Last Few Months On The Internet

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#55 From A Baby Names Book In 1997

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#56 “Simple” They Want To A Name A Child “Simple.”

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#57 But Y

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#58 This Newborn Is Never Going To Fit Her Name On A Keychain, Let Alone Find One …

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#59 From The Folks Who Brought You Reneighsmee…

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#60 According To Nameberry Test These Are Names I Would Like.. What Do You Think Of Baby Governor? ?

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#61 Are They For Real???

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#62 My Kid Came Home With Their Yearbook And This Slapped Me In The Face

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#63 Austin Got Off Easy

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#64 Baby Girls Born To My Local Hospital

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#65 Some Doozies

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#66 Apparently My Suggestion Wasn’t Appreciated. Can Anyone Else Help Name Baker’s Sister? Baker Is A Girl ?

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#67 Babies Featured On A Hospital Website From South Dakota

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#68 Not Great To Associate Your Kid With Drug Lords

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#69 Xia, Pronounced “Ten-I-Yah”, After The Father’s High School Jersey Number. Yes, It’s Real, I Checked

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#70 Orca And Harbour

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#71 Thank God They’re Changing It

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#72 My Child’s Name Just Came To Me When Playing Scrabble!

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#73 Roxas

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#74 Good Ol’ Namenerdcirclejerk

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#75 “We Took A Random Word And Randomly Added And Removed Letters”

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#76 Michael Really Got Lucky ?

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#77 Hmm…

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#78 Names From Her Daughters Class In Idaho. No Her Daughter’s Name Is Not On Here

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#79 Sage Linen

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#80 A Pic Of My Old Jr License With My Legal Name. My Family Set Me Up For Failure

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#81 Mom Is Worried The Nurses Made Fun Of Her Babies Names…. Yes They Most Likely Did

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#82 I Bless The Names Down In Africa

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#83 Op Claims To Like A Name But Doesn’t Like The Sound Of It… What?! Proceeds To List A Series Of Yewneek Spelyngz

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#84 A Sister Trio On Instagram

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#85 Would Anyone Like Some Cookeighs?

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#86 This One Bothers Me Way More Than It Should

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#87 Dexon Is A Trademark For A Suture Material

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#88 Indigo Cotton

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#89 Oh Dear God

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#90 This Is Why I Firmly Believe People Should Have Pets Before Kids

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#91 Sevyn,nyne?

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#92 I Was Scrolling Through The “Baby Gallery” Section Of A Hospital Near Me And I Found This… Poor Kid

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#93 Wonderful Timing, Reddit

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#94 What Not To Name Your Baby…girl’s Edition

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#95 Are You Naming Sims Or Real People?

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#96 This Font Is Not Doing The Name Any Favors ?

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#97 Ugleigh

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#98 Saoirse But Pronounced Source

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#99 One Of Them Definitely Got The Short End Of The Stick… They Also Have A Big Brother, Steele

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#100 And Then There Was……lemon?

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#101 Etsy Reviews Are Always A Goldmine

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#102 Casino

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#103 Found One In The Wild

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#104 Not Sure Which Is Worse

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#105 Bucket. Bucket

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#106 Wut

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#107 You’re Naming People, Not Pets

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#108 Darren Criss Named His Baby ?bluesy Belle Criss ?

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#109 Just Fyi Op Clarified That They Are American

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#110 ?

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#111 You Are Not On To Something

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Source: boredpanda.com

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