We all know how to keep a secret. Most of us learned as a child when we first decided to sneak an extra cookie before bedtime or refused to reveal to anyone who our best friend had a crush on. The average person is keeping an impressive 13 secrets at any given time, so we tend to exercise our vault capabilities often. But that is nothing compared to how many secrets the average corporation is holding onto, that is until some employees with loose lips decide to spill the beans…

Workers from various industries have been revealing “dirty little secrets” on Reddit from their professions that consumers aren’t intended to know, so we’ve gathered a list of some of the juiciest ones down below to keep you pandas informed. From secrets that can help you save a little money to revelations that might make you view an entire company differently, we hope this list opens up your eyes to what’s happening behind the scenes in these sectors.

Be sure to upvote the responses you find most shocking or upsetting, and then let us know in the comments if there are any juicy facts from your field you would like to reveal as well. And if you’re interested in even more of these dirty little secrets, you can check out Bored Panda’s last article on the same topic right here. 

More info: Reddit | Reddit | Reddit

#1

I am a welder for a company that builds rollercoasters… Every single weld is inspected and x-rayed for any defect. So I guess this doesn’t apply but just so everyone can feel a little bit safer I figured I’d let you internet people know.

Image credits: GetGreggedOn

#2

How we fix our computer issues in IT: We turn it off and on again.

Seriously, this fixes 99% of computer issues.

Image credits: anon

#3

Teacher here: I hide YOUR secrets. If your kids know it, I know it. Children are tactless and impulsive and they tell me all about your reproductive habits, financial difficulties, domestic problems, and tindr dates. I know so much about moms and dads that I wish I could erase from my brain forever.

But I will never tell! You’re welcome!

Image credits: Ohmannothankyou

Many of us have been in a situation at work where we realized that something suspicious was going on. Whether we had to sign an NDA or a contract promising that we would keep our lips sealed about the business’ practices or we were threatened with losing our job if we opened up to the public, it’s no secret that companies keep information from the public. Sometimes secrets are used to ensure the business has a leg-up over competitors or utilized to keep the magic alive, at places like theme parks and Disneyland. But other times, dirty little secrets are intentionally kept because business owners know that the public would not be supportive of their practices.

When secrets come to light about discrimination or unfair treatment of employees behind the scenes, consumers are quick to boycott or tarnish the name of a company. And they should be. We all want to know where our money is going, and if a corporation does not align with our morals, they won’t get a penny more. Unfortunately, however, many businesses have mastered the art of keeping company secrets under lock and key, so we are very lucky when employees, like the people featured on this list, decide to open up. 

#4

If I start CPR on you, you have about a 5% chance to survive. I still try my hardest.

Image credits: Mikereb

#5

Wash your fruit, we find spiders hanging out in grapes and berries all the time, your friendly neighborhood grocery store employee

Image credits: KeepInMoyndDenny

#6

Plumber.

I make over half my money using one tool that costs $50, and a skill that can be learned in 20 minutes.

Edit: The tool is a shifter and the skill is knowing how to pull apart and install taps. Drain snakes and plungers are how I make almost all the rest. That “almost” is the reason I need all of my other tools.

Image credits: Karova1

To consumers, it might seem suspicious that companies feel the need to hide things from us. But according to David Lonsdale, President of Allegiance Capital, many companies depend on keeping secrets for their livelihood, particularly when they decide to sell the business to someone else. He explains in an article he wrote for Inc. that if businesses revealed all of their secrets, they could lose control during a sale. Appearances are extremely important when running a business, so David says that a business owner should have full control over what the public knows about their company. This requires having a trustworthy investment bank, he notes, so there are never any surprises or concerns about what information is released.

David also notes that when a sale is made, the former and new owners should collaborate and decide precisely what story will be released to the public. “Effective confidentiality management provides control and prevents unfounded information from impacting the sale,” David writes.

#7

Tech support. I google most of your problems. Good tech support is very well worded google searches

#8

It is against Walmart’s company policy for hourly employees to call 911 in the event of an emergency. Rather, they must notify the nearest manager, which could take anywhere from minutes to weeks depending on where the manager is, what they are doing, whether the hourly employee has a walkie, etc. Employees can be, and have been, fired for calling 911 to report an in-store emergency.

Image credits: ask-if-im-a-bucket

#9

Many of the books you read – especially romance – aren’t written by the person who’s name is on the cover.

Most romance books are ghostwritten and bought by someone else (often a man, I’ve found) and published under a female’s name with a fake bio.

How do I know this?

I’m a ghostwriter.

Image credits: Secretlysidhe

The next reason David notes for why companies must maintain secrets during a sale is because they could lose customers if the information became public. “If customers discover you are selling the business, they may be less willing to do business with you, because they can’t predict what will happen next or how it will impact them,” David writes. “Your competitors are fully aware of this, and can be expected to use any information about a possible sale to help lure customers away from you.”

He also notes that potential new customers may be deterred from doing business with you if they get word of the sale happening. It’s not ideal to be trapped in a contract with new owners that the customers do not know well, or perhaps even trust. David explains that new owners usually do not impact the customers at all, but customers tend to scare easily if they hear about the information abruptly. David says it’s best to reveal the news of a sale to them when you and the new owners feel ready.

#10

Every driver of a truck has nodded off at one time or another making them an 80,000 lb death missile.

Image credits: anon

#11

A lot of people think military is synonymous with discipline and top-tier job training.

I’ve seen things that would make a McDonald’s worker think that their job is pretty high-class.

Image credits: Oseirus

#12

If your baby is in full-time care (40+ hours a week) the odds are that we know about their milestones (rolling, crawling, walking, talking, etc…) before you do. It’s just because the majority of their waking time is spent with us. We don’t tell you because working hard to provide for your kid doesn’t make you a bad parent, and we don’t want you to feel like you’re missing out.

Image credits: albatrossheart

Another reason David says companies must maintain secrets during a sale is to not lose high-value employees. He explains that employees often worry that their jobs are in jeopardy when they hear news of a sale, and if they start jumping ship, the quality of the business could suffer. David recommends keeping key employees in on the sale, so they can help throughout the process, and letting everyone else know later on. Similar to how customers can be scared off by the news of a sale, employees can be too. Finally, David writes that keeping a sale under wraps until it’s necessary to break the news can be vital to maintaining company value. 

“In the end, confidentiality is all about ethics,” he writes. “You and the professionals you hire to sell your company are entrusted with information that can have a serious impact upon the company, and even the lives of those associated with it. Yes, loose lips sink ships. But they can also sink your sale.”

#13

Teacher – it’s that time of year to make class placements for next year. Every year there are two or three teachers in the school (elementary) who are so awful, we cry over which students we have to ‘sacrifice’ to them and hope they are strong enough to survive a year with Mr. or Mrs. So-and-So.

Image credits: PicklePucker

#14

In mascara ads, the models are wearing lash extensions. No mascara is going to make your lashes that long, sorry.

Image credits: Decemberredhead

#15

Valet driver here, dont leave your drugs in the car. A kid took a pound out of a customers car a few years back and the dude came back FLIPPIN out screaming at the manager. When the manager finally asked what was stolen and he told him weed, my manager just said “oh. Well you can file a police report then”

It’s interesting that David Lonsdale notes the ethics of keeping company secrets when a business is being sold, because it often feels like corporations keep things to the public to conceal unethical practices. But according to Sarah Green Carmichael at Harvard Business Review, companies might be realizing that it’s actually better to reveal their highly guarded secrets. She spoke to Sami Luukkonen, Accenture’s Global Electronics and High Tech Industry Lead, about why secrecy is becoming less helpful for businesses over time, and he explained that while the tech industry has long been full of secrets, times are changing.

“The technology itself is now really driving the need to become more open,” Sami told HBR. “With digitalization and the Internet of Things, that’s really changing the industry. The convergence of intelligent products, processes, and services, that’s really causing the need for change. So companies need to open up about what kind of products are coming, and that’s really difficult for most companies because of the legacy of protecting intellectual property.”

#16

Once you realize that a “real estate agent” is actually just a “used house salesman”, you start to understand what real estate is really about.

#17

I own a bar, we get rich while a lot of people drown their sorrows in alcohol (Serious, that really depresses me somehow)

Image credits: anon

#18

I get paid to tell you what your employees have been telling you.

Image credits: Digital_Economist

Sami explains that companies are no longer creating products that only do one thing, so they have to reach out and collaborate with other companies that can help them create a product that does everything. He notes the example of Apple creating the Apple Watch. “The consumer isn’t just buying a watch, they are buying a multipurpose device. And Apple is not a company that’s an expert in, say, wellness, so they have to collaborate with those companies to create an offering to the end consumer,” Sami explained. “The Watch is an ecosystem product, and these ecosystem products are the driving force that are really forcing companies to collaborate. That’s why I say it’s a technology-driven cultural change. At the same time, Apple is a special case. They’re able to take command of the ecosystem because of their very strong brand. It’s almost a requirement to go and collaborate with Apple.”

#19

If you’re sitting at a blackjack table and aren’t sure what play to make, ask the dealer. No, seriously. We’re trained to know the official Blackjack strategy guide and are allowed to give you that information (considered common knowledge). If the dealer doesn’t know it off hand, their supervisor should have a copy of it and will help you out.

Image credits: imaloony8

#20

I work in video games. Our job is to make our game as addictive as possible so that we can make the most money out of micro-transactions. (Think mobile phone games) A lot of our game design is by marketing telling us what people will most likely buy in the game by watching data. Sure, it starts free-to-play, but to keep you playing and paying we mine data to make it more “sticky.”

After a while I felt like I was working for a drug dealer and quit recommending our games to people I knew. Sure, people have fun playing the games we make, but I don’t want to hear later about how much money you or your kids wasted on it.

Image credits: cyberdrunk

#21

In mental health, often the appearance of progress is more important than progress itself

Edit: I’m *not* saying counseling or therapy don’t work at all, just saying there is sometimes pressure to inflate positives to have clients stick around.

Image credits: anon

But even though tech companies are being required to collaborate with one another, they still seem hesitant to reveal to the general public what they’re up to. According to Digital Information World, tech companies attempt to make consumers feel protected by assuring that they won’t sell our data to outside companies. However, they do contribute to helping advertisers create targeted ads, which allows the tech companies and the advertisers to make money off of us. Have you ever heard the idea that if something is free, you’re the product? That’s exactly how the free areas of the internet work, particularly social media. And now, those ads are curated based on your search history, what you’ve been watching, your area, and even what you’ve been saying.   

#22

FedEx Office doesn’t recycle.

I’ve personally killed probably close to an acre of forest.

Image credits: Mach_Two

#23

In a call centre, we’re more likely to waive admin fees if you’re nice to us and we like you. Also we’re more likely to charge you (more) if you’re rude or patronising.

#24

Baggage handler. If you check a skateboard by just slapping a sticker on it it will get ridden.

Image credits: -aurelius

Apparently tech companies even alter the definition of the word “sale” to suit their particular needs. Digital Information World explains that advertisers can use bidding techniques to acquire data from tech companies without a technical “sale” taking place. “You should remember that tech companies only need to adhere to the legal definitions of various terminology, and this allows them to bend the rules a little bit and still be able to claim that they do not sell user data,” Digital Information World notes. “It is important to be cognizant of the various ways in which companies can use legalese to make it seem like they are not actually violating your privacy. This can be useful in terms of safeguarding yourself from losing control over your personal information in a day and age where privacy violations are unfortunately becoming highly commonplace all in all.”

#25

My family owns a liquor store- when the economy goes down our business goes up

#26

Sewer inspector. I can tell exactly who/ what house is dumping oil and grease down their drains. It’s usually the churches and businesses that get nastygrams and fines but we need to shame the house people too.

Image credits: wagonspraggs

#27

Most cheap sex toys are made out of unstable materials (TPE, TPR) that may leech chemicals into your body and may over time start to melt, especially if stored with other toys. These material can also be Porous and a perfect home for bacteria, so black spots might grow on your dildo.

Edit: I’m exceptionally drunk, leave me alone. All your questions can be answered here: http://dangerouslilly.com/toxictoys/

If you have ever worked in any of these industries, you might not be shocked by all of these answers, but I hope you’re all learning something from this list that you’ll remember the next time you rent a car, visit your accountant or do your weekly shop at the grocery store. Keep upvoting any of the dirty little secrets that you think all your fellow pandas would like to know, and then feel free to reveal any of your own industry secrets in the comments down below. And if you want to check out our last article on this same topic, you can find it right here.

#28

I worked in an independent senior citizens center for five years. I don’t know about other facilities that are independent, but at mine, you were supposed to be mostly to completely independent. There were some tenants that needed a caretaker with them at all times, but the families found that cheaper than moving them to an assisted living facility.

After about two years, we got a new director. We went from 20 rooms filled to all 42 in a few months. Several of these tenants I would hardly call mostly to completely independent. Clearly my boss just wanted to fill the rooms and get his bonus. We had three women move in during the same week that all had dementia. One of them went completely downhill in a period of eight months.

When she first got there, she just seemed forgetful and quick to anger. After a month, she forgot her children were adults and that her husband died. Another month, and she had no idea where she was. She thought the facility was a hotel and would always talk about how horribly she was treated. She caught her apartment on fire. She’d freak out when there were guests in the dining room. Eventually she refused to bathe, and ended up with a severe yeast infection between rolls on her stomach. We had no idea that was going on, we just knew she wasn’t bathing and smelled very foul. She ended her eight month stay stealing other tenant’s outdoor decorations and becoming incontinent. The others caused all kinds of problems, wouldn’t stop harassing staff to the point where it was getting really hard to perform our tasks, other tenants threatened to move out and refused to go to meals so they could avoid them…

My point of this is: Just because a facility says they’ll accept your dementia ridden parents doesn’t mean you should place them there. Sure, it’s cheaper for you. But they don’t get the care they need. There are no nurses in our independent facility. In the five years I worked there, we only had two half hour meetings educating our staff about dementia and how to handle the people suffering from it. There’s no one watching them 24/7. They could seriously harm themselves and others. They need to be somewhere where the staff is trained to handle them at their worst, and properly guide them through the horrible transition.

Please, think twice before putting them in independent facilities.

#29

Doctor here. I’ll see a patient Monday morning in the hospital, work all night and then Tuesday morning in the hospital, and I won’t have slept in the 24 hours in between.

And this is totally normal and accepted practice in medicine.

#30

There is no cloud, it’s just someone else’s computer.

#31

After working in the travel industry I can tell you that hotel room rates are often not fixed prices. If guests come to the front desk and ask the price we generally start at the high end. Most people accept this as fact and pay up. However, if a customer is hesitent or threatens to walk out we can sometimes drop the price to keep them there. Often there is a bottom line price set by the owners- we can’t go any lower than that or we lose money.

Image credits: anon

#32

Barely anyone in the state of Georgia gets an autopsy. If you wanted to kill someone over the age of 40, all you would really need to do is make sure that they had some kind of previous medical history and the body was found outside of a metropolitan area. The coroners here are only required to have a high school diploma. Some states are worse, most better.

#33

This is gonna get buried but here goes.

Bouncers don’t give a f**k about you, your problems, or anything other than not having the rules/law broken.

If you are cool to us, we will be cool to you. Come at us with an attitude, or hostility, and we will respond in kind. We aren’t paid to be nice.

#34

I used to work for a major package delivery service unloading semi trailers.

The flat screen TV you ordered for christmas was under a gun safe and a lift kit for a truck.

Image credits: Jacosion

#35

Home construction. It is so bad. Amazing what people will pay a half mil for. Total rubbish. You won’t believe the number of foundation failures or how many roof trusses have termites pre-installed and for gods sake never look under the carpet.

#36

In the legal profession, the most difficult a*****e in the entire case is often your own client.

#37

IT technician here, I do genuinley try not to look at people’s Downloads or browser history but occasionally I do. Your all a sick sick bunch of freaks but luckily, so am I 🙂

#38

Camp counselor. Your kid sucks and is a brat. You’re a s**tty parent

Edit: obviously not all kids are like this but this is more directed at that special handful of little s**ts out there

Image credits: mkgator23

#39

Has anyone mentioned agriculture yet? If we (I’m in the U.S.) paid our workers a salary that attracted legal immigrants and citizens, all produce/ornamentals would be priced as high as the stuff marketed as organic. A lot of farm labor is s**t work, and it’s the only industry with no overtime pay requirements. 50+ hour weeks are normal. The factory farm I work at starts at sunrise with a minimum 9 hour day, working Saturdays as well. I’m a U.S. citizen with a Horticulture degree so I have it better than most of my illegal immigrant coworkers. I once spent a 10 hour day with a crew bent over in the field just to see what it was like and I had to take the next day off. I try to source all my produce and plants more ethically because of this, even though it’s pricey.

Edit1: I was wrong about ag being the only industry exempt from overtime. I looked it up on the Department of Labor website and they have a page listing all the exceptions (commissioned sales employees, computer professionals that make over a certain amount, etc.). It’s a weird list, but economics isn’t my expertise so maybe the jobs on there make more sense to someone that knows better.

Edit2: Woohoo popped my gold cherry. Farming is finally paying off. Thank you kind stranger!

#40

Your massage therapist is also trying to hold in their fart.

#41

I worked for Whole Foods, that stuff in the prepared foods section you pay top dollar for isn’t even organic. It’s not even from the store. We’d go buy ingredients from Costco. Whole Foods tries to justify you paying so much money for your meals because it’s all organic and fresh ingredients but it’s a lie. Also the hot bar is just reheated leftovers from the day before.

Image credits: dilfhunter666

#42

Tech startups: many places spend almost no time or effort on security. It’s a race to add features and patch over major bugs to try to get some kind of revenue stream before funding runs out. Security isn’t a problem until it is, so it’s always on the back-burner.

Image credits: Sahasrahla

#43

9 out of 10 AC units are the same. Despite the brand and by extension the cost they mostly come from one maker in New Jersey. Ingersoll Rand.

Image credits: anon

#44

That nuclear control systems still run on windows server 2003

#45

If you’ve just had fantastic service from someone who helped you book/find a hotel room, please just accept whatever offer they may make at the end of the call. If they offer to transfer you, so you can hear about the loyalty club credit card, just hang up as soon as they put you through.

We get it. You don’t want a credit card. But help us out.

#46

Most everything at Applebees besides meats are microwaved

#47

If produce falls on the floor, no matter how dirty the floor is, at my store we just put it right back on the produce tables. Always wash your fruit/vegetables.

#48

Medical lab scientist

The pregnancy test that we run for your doctor that costs ridiculous amounts of money are the same tests you can buy at the grocery store.

#49

A certain telephone company with a blue globe logo doesn’t actually have a billing department. You are *always* routed to Sales. The job is not to fix your billing problem, it’s to upsell you. If you have a legit billing problem, you will be transferred because the rep doesn’t want to deal with anyone that isn’t a sale. Every time you’re transferred, it’s actually to the same department, just a different sales rep. Billing managers are really just Sales Managers.

#50

GM of a rental car company here.

Do not, under any circumstances, buy additional roadside assistance or premium roadside assistance.

Essentially every new car comes with 5 years of free roadside assistance from the manufacturer. As long as you weren’t off-roading, just give the manufacturer’s RSA hotline the VIN and mileage and you are good to go.

EDIT: Some people have pointed out that certain companies will purchase in the B2B program, meaning that they get a larger discount for waiving parts of the warranty. I personally have not run into this causing issues, between two companies and more than half a decade in the industry, but YMMV.

Image credits: anon

#51

Bakery owner here: if you order a custom cake, we will charge you a fair price depending on decoration, size, flavorings, etc. no matter what type event it’s for. we don’t up charge you for weddings, as much as reddit likes to think.

We will, however, up sell you. You want white cake? that’s fine, but this Genoise sponge is much tastier (and costs .75 more per serving.) You want a lace wrapped bottom? what if I hand piped lace all over it, it would be much more beautiful (and cost about $100-$500 more, depending on cake size.) you get the idea. Basically, if you have a firm cake budget, make sure you let the bakery know when you start your tasting. Take their suggestions if they fit within your budget. they won’t try to up sell you too much unless they’re assholes, and it’ll save a lot of disappointment.

Image credits: notasugarbabybutok

#52

In 90% of mobile games or facebook games where you see all the people you’re playing with, they are just bots with names scraped from online

#53

That people in the kitchen and in factories also go to work when they feel ill and you most likely have eaten something someone sneezed on. Because there is a line between feeling so sick you can’t get out of bed and coughing and sneezing once in awhile.

#54

Software development:
You will always be pressed for more time and money. Your product will almost always launch with major bugs and issues- you will spend most of your final moments before go live fixing as many of the VISIBLE issues as you can, and subsequent updates actually getting the product to where you envisioned it as you were building.

Image credits: RockwellTK421

#55

I worked in a lab where targets took over all health and safety. I worked with asbestos without a mask regularly and the samples we crushed were constantly contaminated to a ridiculous level because none of the equipment was ever cleaned (no time, too many targets to hit!). Was the reason I left, I hate being forced to do a bad job.

#56

Whenever you see an advertisement with a quote from someone we just had someone in the office say that so technically we aren’t making it up. Even though we tell them exactly what to say.

Edit: I find it odd that everyone thinks of the word advertisement to only refer to television commercials…

#57

At my hotel, the front desk person has complete control of the price you pay if you don’t book online, and will often try to bump up the price of the room by $5-10 anticipating you asking for a discount of some sort.

Edit: I do want to mention that if the guest is nice about asking for a discount and/or doesn’t ask at all I tend to give them $5-10 off of the original price as a courtesy for not making me hate them.

#58

Don’t have grown up conversations in front of your children..they come to school and tell us everything. Everything. I know more about the parents of my kids than I do my own friends.

Preschool teacher*

#59

It’s not uncommon for assistants and apprentices to make the art of really famous, well known, expensive artists. The artist might be very involved in the process or barely involved. They can have studios with dozens of assistants churning out all of “their” work, and then just sign their name to it. And I’m not just talking about, sculptures or art installations where assistants might be doing the grunt work. Even paintings could be barely-touched by the actual artist.

#60

I’m an advertising photographer. Pretty much anything you buy based off the work of my industry won’t be as nice as it looks in the ads.

We put a lot of work into making something that’s worth $5 look like it’s worth $50.

#61

So much pre-recorded music and lip-syncing. “Live” music isn’t what it used to be.

#62

You can sue a prison for holding you after your release day if they screw up your release, or can’t release you on time for whatever reason, and it’s like $7k for every day you’re held over.

#63

Paramedic here, Ambulances are NOT sterile places.

#64

Doctor here. It’s practically impossible to get an incompetent colleague to lose their license unless multiple patients complain. I’ve come across colleagues with horrendous records, ranging from billing fraud to almost killing people (and probably killing some, indeed, we just did not know for sure). Despite all of us trying to use appropriate channels, such as discussing it with the hospital, with the licensing body, we were met with staunch resistance and refusal to even start to investigate. The only way to do it would be to basically tell a patient that the doctor had almost killed them and tell them to file a complaint, but then if that information leaked, we could be sued for defamation.

It’s really terrible.

#65

Very few institutions get computer security right. The fact that nothing catastrophic has happened yet is nearly a miracle.

#66

Most places never clean their soda fountain ice machines. After opening a few and finding them full of mold and growth, I stopped putting ice on my fountain drinks.

#67

Any medical profession: i.e. physician, pharmacist, nurse, etc.
We all consult the internet just as much as you probably do for whatever your perceived ailment may be. Yes, we go to school for an extremely long time; and yes, we are experts in our field(s). However, it is sheerly impossible for a single mind to know everything off of the top of their head in any and all realms of medicine.

#68

Those IV bags of saline that the hospital charges you $500 for are sold to distributors for less than the cost of a bottle of water.

#69

Doggy daycare.

Your dog probably eats s**t. Often. We do our best, but when there are three staff members, 8 simultaneous shits, and 80 dogs (many of which want to hoover those dirty nuggets), we can only do so much.

Also: your dog is almost certainly a poorly socialized a*****e with little to no pack manners. It’s okay though; that’s what we’re here for.

#70

When you’re injured in a car wreck due to someone else’s fault. Their insurance company only wants to f**k you. Not too secret but I can confirm it

#71

Accounting. That the appearance of everything is fine is more important than is everything actually fine.

Financial statement sign offs by accountants are becoming more like rubber stamps. Accountants are blessing financial statements that haven’t been properly vetted because of cost constraints engulfing the industry.

It’s only a matter of time before the next Enron/accounting scandal.

#72

In every obgyn clinic room there is a sink with a nasty, blood splattered, crusty Home Depot bucket underneath it filled with dirty speculums that some unfortunate medical assistant will have to clean by hand before putting in the autoclave. The tools are sterilized but I have never seen a bucket washed, nor was asked to do so, nor have I even seen a single one replaced.

EDIT: added “underneath it”. Was wondering why so many people were thinking it was in the actual sink!

#73

Work in the hotel industry. A good percent of the pillows aren’t washed. Like ever.

#74

Therapist in a skilled nursing facility here. Some places will hang on to residents well past when they’re ready to go home to suck up all the Medicare money they can, others send them home too early in hopes of getting a good rating from the insurance payers (and therefore more referrals).

I’m lucky enough to work in a place that doesn’t seem to do this.

#75

All cheese, chicken, or beef pizzas for Muslim customers get cut by the same greasy cutter that went through 3 pepperoni pizzas before them at Dominos

#76

Former meat clerk: Meat can be expensive. If something is dropped on the floor, it will often times be rinsed with hot water and sold anyway. I’ve had my managers bust me for throwing things away that fell on the ground.

#77

I worked at kay jewelers for a few years diamonds are intrinsically worthless and they can be produced in labs.

#78

Ex personal trainer. Your problem is your diet. That’s it. You’re eating too much. I can work you three hours a day, six days a week, but if you keep eating that c**p “what do I feel like eating?” diet you’re going to be as fat as the first day you walked into my office.

You don’t need a personal trainer, you need a psychologist or hypnotherapist and a dietitian.

#79

Engineering is nowhere close to being as accurate or precise as people think

Edit: I’m in product development for automotive. In my personal experience, I hear the phrase “close enough” quite a bit. I also do a lot of work in model correlating, and if the actual part reacts at least 70% to the model comparison we’re usually happy with the result.

#80

Bro….

Anyone who’s ever been at a vehicle assembly plant knows that most cars have a quality of about 80% of their specifications and they’re sold that way to everyone.

#81

Produce Department. We soak many of the wet-rack items ahead of time before they ever go to the wall in the first place, and of course then they are misted throughout the day. This keeps them firm and fresh-looking, of course. What it also does it makes you pay per-pound for water.

#82

Paralegals have access to lots of databases to find private info. Depending on the database, some of us have looked up people who are not involved in our cases.

#83

Our code is utter s**t and no one understands what is going on but hey it works!

#84

Biomedical researcher:
80% of published peer reviewed studies are not repeatable

#85

Not really my profession anymore, or a “profession” at all, but I used to work the production line at the Swiss Colony bakery. For those who aren’t familiar, it’s basically mail-order “gourmet” food.

Quality control in that factory was nil. 75% of the workers had little to no training. When promoters came through to do a video, they had to bring in extra people to make it look busy. They also had to scrape a couple foot-tall mounds of chocolate off the floor, sweep up the dead bugs, and very carefully not pan up to show where the ceiling had been on fire.

Anything you order from them has a good chance of being damaged, tainted, or “modified”.

#86

Chipotle worker here. We don’t chop our lettuce anymore. It comes pre-chopped in bags! BAGS!!!!!

#87

Sometimes your professor learns about the thing that they teach you so confidently just hours before giving the lecture.

Edit: just to be clear, I’ve never taught a course where I didn’t know the core material long in advance. Sometimes when preparing a lecture, you learn something new and cool about the subject and then teach it. That’s what I meant.

#88

In retail, when you ask us to look in the back we don’t actually look. We know it’s not back there but nobody trusts us when we just say that.

#89

I build custom awnings and also retractable awnings. You’re getting ripped the F**k off. They come in a box from China. We unbox them in the shop so you think we actually did something.

#90

I suppose the work I do doesn’t necessarily have a direct consumer, but it is still worth mentioning. I have done various forms of biomedical research for the past 4 years or so. My current gig is in a cancer research facility at a university, and I have met a host of interesting characters (I work with medical doctors, PhDs, scientists with master’s degrees, etc).

Research in academic institutions is extremely cutthroat. There is less and less grant money available. If you don’t get your grant, you can’t fund your research, and people lose their jobs. The thing that baffles me is that many PhDs and MDs who are in charge of these projects care less about the research and more about getting their names on a paper. For some, it is all about image. People will screw each other over to ensure they get the grant first and they publish their data first. It is very political.

On the upside, I work with many people who are genuinely passionate about the work that they do.

TL;DR – Some of the higher-up doctors and scientists don’t care about the diseases they research as much as they care about getting recognition and praise.

EDIT: changed notoriety to recognition and praise because words are hard sometimes

#91

Jeweler here- we use spit to set diamonds. Not as an actual adhesive, but to pick up and move the diamond into the setting. It sounds gross, but trying to move a small diamond with a pair of tweezers often results in the diamond flying across the room and into the bottomless pit that is a jewelry shop floor. So, yea- we lick and stick. Don’t worry, there’s a vigorous cleaning process at the end!

#92

You can bargain with the funeral home. Shop around you can save thousands.

#93

Teaching. Yes, we do talk about the kids in the teacher’s lounge.

#94

Complaint Handling – we don’t give a f**k about whatever the f**k you think about the fuckity fucky f**k you are talking about.

#95

In the tanning industry, if we don’t clean the bed properly after the previous customer, you can get shingles. If we walk into the room and 10 seconds later walk out, your tanning bed is NOT clean!

It takes two solid minutes to properly clean any room. Bed, chair, shelf and door handle.

If you tan in a salon that ‘sanitizes’ its goggles for you to use, they are not sanitary! It takes 5 HOURS in that solution to get rid of any and all bacteria from the previous set of eyes.

#96

I can get into just about anywhere with my HVAC work shirt and Service van. Nobody asks you anything.

People have their password written on sticky notes and stuck to their monitors far more then you’d like to believe. This is the downside to tightening security, it can actually completely negate it because people are lazy.

I’ve had to insist people stop telling me their passwords when they’re entering them for the first time because they would get stuck in my head. People usually only keep a few passwords for everything.

#97

Car dealerships have no real price guideline for Zurich Shield Warranty. They can pretty much ask any amount they want. They usually ask anywhere between $300 to $2000. They usually push this real hard when they have to bend over backward with the price of the vehicle.

You can buy do it your self products and achieve the same results for under $100.

#98

Firearms are actually registered and gun purchasers are kept on file available on request of various government agencies.

#99

Geeksquad uses malware bytes to clean your pc of viruses and charges you $150 so they can use a free software on your PC.

#100

I work in the anatomical pathology lab at a hospital. That’s the part of the lab that gets anything removed from a person: from warts and moles all the way to whole colons and legs, etc. We have rooms where the whole specimens are viewed and dissected. Those rooms have sinks, and those sinks have garbage disposals.

Think about that. :/

#101

Well, we don’t do this because we want to, but because it’s mandated by law, but you know those “uncured: no nitrites added” products? We add nitrites.

#102

Work for a very popular bar chain in the UK. If we over pour a pint the excess head is poured into another glass and reused on the next guy who orders that drink. If your pint tastes flat that’s probably why. Hate doing it, it’s disgusting but managers dont care as they need to hit stock targets for bonuses.

#103

Am a bookkeeper at an accounting office. There was no background check run when I was hired, and I have no license. I just had to pass a simple test and now I am a minimum wage worker that can see hundreds of individuals’ financial information, including tax documents with social security numbers on them.

#104

Legacy programmer here! All of the debt from your houses, and your parents’ and landlords’ houses, and increasingly all of your credit card, consumer and student loan debt are ALL being processed on 24 hour cycles on a system backbone that was written well before I was born. And I’m OLD (in Reddit terms).

I work in mortgage servicing and tinker with the spiderwebs that hold up the economy as we know it. It’s pretty complex, because everything runs on spit and promises and equal parts sunshine and darkness. We find ways to squeeze tiny bits of performance improvements out of an impossible system so that we can immediately put more load on it.

If you want to guarantee yourself years of work in an environment you’ll probably hate, learn to code in COBOL. Most of the people in my dept are within a decade of retirement, if they live that long. Our company pays college kids to learn on the job now because there are no new COBOL programmers.

I hate it. It’s a chore to get up and go in every day. It’s my dream job and I’m lucky to have it.

#105

If you enter a sweepstakes or contest, some sites will use your friends list to decide how popular/cool you are and it ups your possibility to win.

#106

Radio DJ here. I can get in serious trouble/fired if I take requests. Most on-air tracks of people making requests are either staged or recorded well ahead of their actual airing.

It’s not like this everywhere, just most places. Don’t blame DJs, blame mass media conglomeration and/or Bill Clinton.

#107

I work in an advertising agency. A big one.

When we get close to the Cannes advertising awards season there’s a sudden interest in world issues or minorities, topics that usually grab the judge’s attention.
There are also quite a few brands that pump money into “research” in order to come up with some half assed story (usually a short film) on how their brand is helping said minorities or contributing to a worthy cause etc etc.

This is obviously all c**p, and all they want is the award and to be in the press, which automatically gains the advertising agency more exposure and the brand a lot of free advertising too.
The research bit?
A script that has been completely approved client-side and we have to go by religiously. Even if that means working overtime, which we obviously don’t get payed for.

#108

Even when the market price of our “item” drops, we don’t pass this saving on to the end user. It results in massive disparity between new/old customers.

#109

Flight attendant here.

The toilet is cleaned more often than your seat.

I’ve watched people change their baby on the tray table on one flight then watch someone spread their lunch on it the next flight.

Your flight crew gets paid at 2 different pay rates. The first is “flight time”. This the higher of the two but we only get this rate when the plane door is closed.

When the door is open (boarding, deplaning, etc.) We get our per diem, typically less than $2/hr. This is why we might seem a little pushy if you’re taking too long to sit down. This is also why we might board everyone and push off the gate knowing there’s going to be a delay.

All airlines are rated, among many things, D:0, A:14 and ACF.

D:0- On time departure. As long as our doors are closed by the departure time we get the grade. Average for most airlines is 70-80% on time departures.

A:14- On time arrival. This one is a little misleading. The FAA considers us on time as long as we get to the gate no later than 14 mins past the scheduled arrival time. 80-90% on time arrivals.

ACF: Adjusted Completion. Basically how many scheduled fights did we actually compete. 99.5-100% fights completed.

#110

MVNOs are smaller carriers that borrow bigger carriers’ signal, but that doesn’t mean they have the same reception and coverage as the bigger carriers. First off, they don’t have access to any of the bigger carriers’ roaming network so you’re screwed if you’re in a rural area. Even in areas covered by the big carrier, the signal and coverage is still worse than the bigger carrier. Also, MVNOs have a data speed limit and are capped at around 6Mbps down. But if you walk into a Metro PCS or Cricket store, they’ll just tell you they use the T-mobile/AT&T network and not mention any of the above.

#111

I work for Charter Spectrum. If you want to get your bill reduced it’s simple, actually. You just have to call in and tell us you’re disconnecting due to high prices. If you don’t say you want to disconnect, there’s nothing that can be done to help you. We’re not supposed to suggest this to customers because the company doesn’t really want them to save money. We have a retention dept. that literally gets paid to RETAIN people. Don’t call billing and ask for a deal, get right to the retention department. They can help you get a lower bill.

#112

We ship code that doesn’t work.

#113

We aren’t allowed to “mingle” with the guests. But sometimes we do.
Source: boredpanda.com