How could we recognize a bad person? Culture and, in particular, cinema, give us a lot of advice, but they often turn out to be absolutely unusable in real life. After all, stereotyped scoundrels, with a look from under their brows and an ominous laugh, exuding evil with their whole appearance, practically do not occur in reality.
On the contrary, a really bad person, rather, will be incredibly pleasant in communication, will do everything to ingratiate themselves with you – and then, when they reach their goal, they will definitely do something harmful to you. But there is a wonderful science of psychology, and it helps, by the smallest, seemingly invisible at first glance, signs, to determine that you are dealing with someone who is not as good as they seem.
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A thread starter appeared on the AskReddit community just one day ago, asking the question: “What is a subtle sign someone isn’t a good person?” The result is over 15.4K upvotes and approximately 9.2K various comments. Now it will definitely be much more difficult for the villains to ingratiate themselves with us!
Bored Panda has compiled for you a selection of the most popular and useful tips from the original thread. Therefore, feel free to read, scroll to the very end, leave your own comments – and may bad people never cross your life path!
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Littering. It’s not a violent act or anything, but it does indicate a lack of respect that usually carries into other aspects of the person’s life.
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They mistreat animals.
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How they treat people in the service industry. When they act like they are better than waiters, fast food employees, or retail workers.
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Their treatment of the weakest members of society including defenceless animals, the homeless and those in low service positions.
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Not owning up to their mistakes and always attributing it to someone or something else.
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Casual unnecessary lying
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They don’t put the shopping cart in the designated area and leave it randomly in the parking lot.
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They have a habit of talking bad about other people behind their backs and spreading gossip and rumor. You can tell a lot about a person by observing how they talk about their peers behind their back.
When a person occasionally vents by talking bad about someone (like their boss, or classmate) because of some unpleasant experience, that’s okay. We all do it. But when a person habitually talks s**t about people behind their back, that’s a big red flag.
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When they see someone else’s progress or success as a threat.
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They believe that respect is earned but demand it immediately from you.
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I’ve learned that when someone is claiming to be really “direct” or “blunt” or “honest” it is often a self justification for being controlling and rude.
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When they talk about themselves then stop listening when u talk about yourself
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When they don’t say things like thank you or please.
I just automatically assume people are a**holes when they can’t do these basic, easy acts of kindness.
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The common denominator. They fall out with people all the time but it’s always the other persons fault or family members don’t talk to them but that’s not their fault because they’ve done nothing wrong.
It’s never them, it’s always everyone else is out to get them or is unreasonable, yet they’re the only common denominator in all the situations with all these supposedly shitty people
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Passively aggressively insulting you in front of a group of people in such a way that you can’t say anything back without looking like you’re the emotional one even though you know that they intentionally insulted you to disrespect you.
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All their exes are crazy and nothing negative is ever their fault.
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They share private information about others with you
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They demand forgiveness instead of asking for it.
“I said I was sorry, it’s done now. Get over it.”
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can’t respect boundaries
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A lot of these are kind of blatant. To me a really subtle clue is when people are unable to be happy for others the moment things go wrong with their own life. Less obvious than people who fail to empathize with pain, and also less obvious than people who dismiss or minimize accomplishments, but ultimately indicative of the same empathy deficiency. Specifically in acquaintanceships and close friendships.
“I don’t want to hear about your fiancé proposing to you when my boyfriend just dumped me” sucks, and so does “Your fiancé proposed after 3 years and you’re going on a Hawaii honeymoon? That’s so nice for you sweetie, mine proposed after 2 years and we went on a tour around Europe for 3 months”
“I don’t care about your divorce because I’ve been through 3 divorces” is obviously a s**tty attitude, and “I care about your feelings about this divorce even though I’m also divorced” is basic decency.
What I look for (and try very hard to be) sounds like:
“I’m happy that you are experiencing career success even though I am unhappy at my job”
-I’m able to hear your joy without my eyes glazing over + my mind wandering to my apartment’s ant issue.
“If I compare myself to you this is painful to hear, but really what that means is you’re experiencing wonderful things, which I want for you”
“Even though I’m cold and hangry, I’m not going to bring anyone else’s mood down.”
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Regular putdowns that are disguised as “jokes”
EDIT: I think I need to be more clear here. I’m talking about “jokes” that they either carry on long after everyone else has stopped, or alternatively legit insults that they will *only* claim is a joke if you get upset.
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Doesn’t help other people unless it benefits themself
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If they’re dismissive of what you have to say or want to share.
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They always have to be the victim
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“Only God can judge me” tattooed anywhere on their body. I should’ve known…….
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Always blaming others for things that happen to them, and not putting the trolley back after they are done with it.
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When they flip every criticism back on you
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When you’re going out and they judge or make a rude comment about a random person passing by.
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They try too hard to prove they’re a good person.
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someone who is incapable of reflecting. They are the centre of their own universe. They are unable to grasp the big picture or how they fit within it. Everyone has a place in the larger picture, which is their small view of the world.
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