Fellas, is it feminine to respect others?

What makes someone a “real man” is up for debate. Is it having an expensive car? Being great at football? Spending your weekends fishing and drinking beer? Or looking down on artists, vegetarians and anyone else who hasn’t pumped their veins full of toxic masculinity?

We all know clinging onto rigid, outdated ideas of what it means to be a man is ridiculous. Well, most of us know that. But for some reason, there are still people out there trying to gatekeep masculinity, so today, we’re calling them out. From making up rules about what kinds of cars men are allowed to have to claiming that guys aren’t allowed to take naps (We all get sleepy, don’t we?!), down below, we’ve gathered some of the most arbitrary restrictions placed upon men that have been shared in Gatekeeping subreddit. 

Be sure to upvote the posts you find most absurd, and don’t forget to press the button hard and fast. Just like a real man would! Then, if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article highlighting how ridiculous toxic masculinity is, check out this story next!

#1 Bones For Boners

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#2 Yeah Screw Modern Safety Regulations!! I’d Rather Die An Unrecognizable Heap Of Flesh Tangled In A 2 Ton Machine Than Risk My Masculinity Being Questioned!

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#3 You Simply Cannot Be Jacked And Smart At The Same Time. It Doesn’t Work That Way

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Nobody likes to be placed in a box. But unfortunately, society loves to put everyone in boxes. Men might have more privilege than women in many places, but that doesn’t make them immune to the harm of toxic masculinity. The idea that a woman must be a certain way works in the opposite direction as well. Men are expected to be strong, take up space, be unafraid of anything, be unemotional and apparently, they’re not allowed to enjoy self-care or anything relaxing. We know that guys are just as capable as women of being sensitive, emotional, artistic, and loving, but some people seem to ignore that idea and equate masculinity with loud cars that pollute the earth and eating mass quantities of meat.

My partner self identifies as a “soy boy” because we don’t eat meat, and instead eat a lot of tofu and tempeh, but this phrase has been used as an insult by many men who seem to be a bit less confident in their masculinity. The idea that eating soy products makes someone less of a man or that it lowers testosterone levels (it doesn’t) is just one of the arbitrary beliefs placed on men to try to keep them in a box and narrow the definition of masculinity. This list is full of similar examples, so we hope you get a kick out of reading them, but it’s also a bit painful to realize that some people actually posted these ideas unironically…

#4 Why Drive A Small, Affordable, Efficient Car When Bigger = Betterer ??

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#5 Loud Cars Are The Peak Of Masculinity

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#6 My Masculinity Is Defined By My Inability To Read

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Now, don’t get me wrong. I hope it goes without saying that it is perfectly fine to be a guy who really does love football, cars, fishing, drinking beers, fixing cars, eating steak and working out. Plenty of people enjoy these things, regardless of their gender! But the point is that we have to understand that these are not gender-specific interests. Plenty of women know how to fix up a car, and plenty of guys don’t. That doesn’t change their gender identity one bit. And we can’t look down on anyone else who doesn’t share the same interests we do. We’re all free to choose how we like to spend our time, but deciding to expend energy shaming others is just a waste of time.

Just like strict gender roles and expectations can have a negative impact on women, the same can be said for men. Toxic masculinity is often used to perpetuate ideas such as “boys will be boys”, allowing boys and men to get away with inappropriate behavior because that’s just how they are! They can’t help it! The pressure to look and act a certain way can also have devastating effects on the mental health of boys and men. When they’re taught they can’t share their emotions or open up, it’s easy for their internal struggles to go unnoticed and unaddressed.  

#7 Apparently How You Eat Your Steak Determines Your Level Of Masculinity

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#8 Gatekeeping Masculinity As It Relates To… Car Features

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#9 Gatekeeping Skin Masculinity

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“Men tend to keep so much bottled up inside. This includes all the traumas and heart-breaking moments. Eventually there has to be a release. And too often that is in an explosive way,” says Ron Blake, a social justice activist and public speaker. When men aren’t taught how to express their emotions, they can become overwhelmed easily when they don’t know what to do with their feelings. This can lead to expressions of physical violence, such as sexual violence, domestic abuse, gun violence or physical dominance. When kept on the inside, these undealt feelings often manifest in depression, addiction or even suicide. It’s dangerous for everyone to impose rigid views of masculinity.

#10 Masculinity Gatekeeping

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#11 Napping Is A Female Thing

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#12 Oh

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While men and women are both prone to struggling with mental health issues, men are far more likely to die by suicide and far less likely to utilize mental health services. So what should we be doing to combat this toxic masculinity? According to Mens Group, it’s important to first identify your role in these gender norms and what beliefs you hold that you want to challenge. “If you were abusive in your relationships, you need to learn better coping mechanisms and cope with anger,” Mens Group explains. “You can only find a way forward by first understanding where you are. It starts with self-examining your behavior and identifying areas that require positive change.”

#13 You Are Not A Man If You Have Blonde Hair, Apparently

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#14 Gatekeeping Fatherhood, Masculinity, All Sorts Really

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#15 So Phones Determine Your Masculinity

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Combating toxic masculinity will also likely lead to some difficult or uncomfortable conversations. “This is achievable by talking to people of the opposite gender identities and expressions,” Mens Group notes. “You need to talk about gender biases concerning masculinity. This will give you an understanding of how your behavior affects people of the opposite gender.”

“Men need to learn not to get defensive when having these difficult conversations. The aim of the talks should be to seek understanding, which helps to facilitate positive change.”

#16 Ever Had Your Masculinity And Eating Habits Gatekept By A Bottle Of Cheap Hot Sauce?

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#17 Gatekeeping Masculinity Over Hairstyles

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#18 Gate Keeping Masculinity

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It’s important that we educate young boys that there really is no “box” they need to fit into. It’s all arbitrary. They can make their own decisions about what they are interested in and how they want to express themselves, and we should never make them feel guilty or looked down upon for showing emotions. Teach boys to help out around the house and in the kitchen just as much as their sisters, and teach them to respect all people, regardless of their gender, sexual orientation, interests, etc. Essentially, combating toxic masculinity should be as simple as raising boys and girls equally and never shaming boys for being themselves. But unfortunately, due to the way society currently is, it takes a bit of correcting past prejudices.   

#19 Ok Boomer

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#20 Fragile Masculinity

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#21 Fishing = Peak Masculinity

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The Book of Man also notes that when fighting toxic masculinity, one great step is to dare to be vulnerable with your male friends, to show them that it’s okay and even welcomed. “Show strength by crying. Do this in the knowledge that all men go through emotional difficulties. Daily!” they write. “It’s true that if one man shows it’s okay to do something, we, as pack animals, tend to follow. So open up yourself, and become that person your friends open up to too. Men tend to either keep emotional traumas to themselves or go for female support. While the latter is a wonderful thing, surely we can make a decision to serve that support role to our buddies too. But it takes a hardy soul to stick their neck above the parapet first to see if we’re in the clear to do so. Be that soul.”

#22 Gatekeeping Sports And Masculinity

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#23 Fragile Masculinity Gatekeeping Boxes

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#24 Oh

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And don’t stop questioning why things are the way they are. Because often, there’s not a great reason. “It’s a bloodless revolution,” The Book of Man writes. “A revolution in the head, but not in the inward looking way it was in the Sixties, because you want to effect lasting change, and not be naked all the time. Question the way we are brought up, question the systems of power, question how you are being controlled, question all thinking about being a man. Seek some answers for yourself and take responsibility. The end to toxic masculinity has to be started by men so it becomes socially unacceptable. Let’s start the change now.”

#25 Imagine Gatekeeping Shoes As A Sign Of Masculinity

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#26 Gatekeeping Masculinity

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#27 Gatekeeping Masculinity And Trailer Hitches

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According to this list, men must have beards, have loud, large cars, be great at fishing, play sports, must eat meat, must not recycle, must not wear sneakers, must never take naps, must have tattoos, must not have an iPhone, along with much more… It is exhausting even reading this list, let alone trying to live in a way that conforms to these silly ideas. I hope all of you pandas know that, regardless of your gender, you can behave however you like. As long as you respect others, how you dress and what hobbies you choose to have are completely up to you. A real man is someone who identifies as a man! Keep upvoting the posts you find most comical, and then if you’re interested in reading another article discussing toxic masculinity, look no further than right here.  

#28 Gatekeeping Masculinity

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#29 This Man Has A Comic Book Character Pfp, Btw

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#30 Being A Man

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#31 So Much Bs Toxic Masculinity In This, Glad I’m Not A “Real Man”

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#32 Gatekeeping Whatever Tf This Is

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#33 Because Driving What You Enjoy Is Shameful

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Source: boredpanda.com