We all know about “nice guys”, men who aren’t actually kind but feel entitled to relationships with women because they claim to be. But have you heard of “nice girls”? They have all the entitlement and internalized sexism of “nice guys”, they just happen to be women. And one corner of the internet that knows all about them is the Nice Girls subreddit.
This community, which has over 857k members, is for calling out all of the “self proclaimed ‘nice girls’”. Below, we’ve gathered some of the cringiest posts from the group as a reminder that we women should be spending our energy bettering ourselves and building each other up, rather than broadcasting how we feel entitled to male attention, tearing our fellow ladies down, and being cruel to our friends and potential romantic partners. Keep reading to also find an interview with the subreddit’s moderator team.
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Everyone should be educated on how their “nice” behavior can actually be toxic, men and women, so be sure to upvote the posts you find most egregious. Then let us know in the comments what the worst “nice girl” behavior you’ve ever witnessed was, and if you’re looking for even more of this content, you can find Bored Panda’s previous articles featuring r/NiceGirls right here and here!
#1 Le Yt Video, One Of Those Types Of Women
Image credits: RecordingsForDad
As a woman, I’m never looking to tear down my fellow ladies. The world is hard enough for us all without dealing with competitive women or judgemental girls. But that’s why I find it important to hold one another accountable for our toxic behavior. Unfortunately, women are just as capable as men of being influenced by sexism, misogyny and entitlement. It may be more common for men to become aggressive or cruel towards women when they’re turned down for a date, but there are women out there too who will retaliate or become victims when a man doesn’t reciprocate her feelings.
However, in my experience, it’s more common for women to take it out on another girl when a man is not interested. Becoming competitive and saying rude things about another women such as, “I’m prettier than her” or “What does he even see in her?” is not appropriate behavior. Boasting about how many people are in your DMs would surely not be appreciated if a man did the same thing. These are the kinds of “nice girls” that are featured on this list. They mean no harm, but they have to be educated on why their actions are toxic.
#2 My Friend Dodged A Bullet!
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#3 Wouldn’t Want Them To Think You Aren’t Nice Or Anything
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I would like to point out that it’s sometimes hard to blame women for acting this way. Yes, plenty of women out there know how to actually be kind without feeling any sense of entitlement and how to treat men and women equally. But I can’t help but feel sorry for women who feel the need to boast about who is flirting with them or who are so insecure that they decide to put men or other women down as well. Girls are often taught that we have to be competitive and that we won’t be seen as valuable unless we’re beautiful. So when a woman puts all of her eggs in the basket of “If I’m beautiful, surely men will love me”, she doesn’t know how to react when she is inevitably disappointed.
Women who feel entitled to attention from men likely see relationships as very black and white. “If I do what a woman is ‘supposed’ to do, I deserve to have a man fall in love with me.” That’s a sad way to look at dating, and it’s certain to lead to disappointment. Women are susceptible to being influenced by misogyny as well. We may hear men make fun of women who look or act a certain way, and we may begin to emulate that behavior, as to fit in or impress men. Girls might also become bitter or jealous if they see a woman who doesn’t fit into the traditional mold succeeding in her life or her relationships. It must be sad to be a woman who compares herself to other girls; it sounds exhausting.
#4 Any Fellow “Evident Narcissists”?
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#5 Respectfully Told Her I Wasn’t Interested In Pursuing A Relationship
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#6 Why Bring Up Other Guys?
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This isn’t the first time we’ve covered the Nice Girls subreddit here at Bored Panda (you can find the previous articles here and here), and lucky for us, the subreddit’s moderator team has always been willing to have a conversation about their community its purpose. The last time we spoke with them was about a year ago, so I was curious if there had been any big updates to the group or major changes within this last year. “A certain extremely misandrist subreddit had to be addressed within in our rules,” the mods told Bored Panda. “We had to take a no tolerance stance on this kind of hate speech. Hate speech and sexism are also against the Reddit TOS, and as we do not want our subreddit implicated negatively in anyway, this had to be addressed. We’ve had our member count continuously and steadily grow nice and slowly.”
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And when it comes to where these ‘nice girls’ comes from, the moderators shared, “Being a ‘nice girl’ stems from a mixture of a few factors; those being immaturity, jealousy, and a lack of experience.” But they’re doing everything they can with this platform to help educate women on their own internalized sexism and prevent them from being ‘nice girls’. “We like to believe that female visitors to our subreddit have been pointed in the right direction,” the mods shared.
#7 Granting Him Access To What’s Between Her Legs Means He Gets No Privacy, Normal Behavior…
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We also asked if the moderators had any advice for women who don’t realize they have been exhibiting toxic ‘nice girl’ behavior. “If you’re on yet another guy and still jealous of those women who have settled down and moved on with their relationships, then maybe YOU need to take a hard look at yourself and see where you’re going wrong and address your own issues instead of blaming the world.”
When it comes to the goal of their community, the mods told Bored Panda, “Our goal with this platform is to mainly entertain those that visit our subreddit. Our secondary goal is to educate.” And finally, they request that anyone who visits their subreddit be sure to read the rules first and foremost. They’re there for a reason!
#8 Saw A Similar Post So Ill Share The One I Found On Pof
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#9 Wonder How Well She’s Doing
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The term “nice girl” can actually hold a couple of different meanings. In the case of the Nice Girls subreddit, they explain that the group is “for the women who complain ‘guys are only interested in sluts.’ For women who complain that men are shallow for not dating overweight women, while also demanding that their man have washboard abs. For the women who hold others to the highest possible standard, but have no standards for themselves.” They also note that if the genders were swapped, these women would be classified as so-called “nice guys”. However, there is another type of nice girl that women tend to be distancing themselves from nowadays: the girl who is too nice.
#10 Kinda Gives Off Nicegirl Vibes…
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#11 Love The Energy Here
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#12 Why Won’t He Leave His Girlfriend That He Cares About, Who Is Probably A Cheater Because She’s Not As Ambitious As Nicegirl?
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Girls are often taught from a very young age to be nice and polite. “Nice girls don’t ____.” This teaches many girls to internalize their issues or anything that upsets them, as to avoid conflict. A nice girl wouldn’t complain about harassment at work or tell her uncle to stop commenting on her weight. A nice girl will be happy to be paid less than the men in her office because she should be glad to have a job at all. Being a “nice girl”, when that means adopting people pleasing tendencies and becoming docile, often leads to being taken advantage of and having a lack of passion or ambition. When women are taught to be so focused on everyone else and making sure they are comfortable, it’s a natural reaction to shrink. It’s not at all these nice girls’ fault for being this way; women are often called pushy, rude, aggressive or much stronger words for simply standing up for themselves or going against the grain. But it’s high time women stop feeling pressured to be “nice” and just relax into whoever they want to be.
#13 Thought This Was Satire At First, But Her Whole Account Is Like This…
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#14 How Would One Match A Sent To Their Face?
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#15 Can Guys And Girls Be Just Friends ?
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Some of the posts on this list imply that women are not responsible for their own behavior and that they are always the victims of another man or woman’s actions. Not only is this a completely false idea, it also perpetuates the idea that women are never responsible for their own accomplishments. Women already have a hard enough time being praised for their work, as we might hear rumors about what we must have done to get a job or that we only accomplished something because of our looks, so we should not be making it harder for ourselves by implying that we can’t take responsibility for anything. “If a guy doesn’t like me, there must be another girl. If I’m being mean to a man or another woman, they did something to make them deserve it. I only deserve the best, and I’m always the victim.” This is a dangerous and delusional mindset, and we should not allow our fellow women to think this way. It’s much more empowering to take responsibility and be active participants in our lives.
#16 So Sweet For Showing The Red Flags Herself, Atleast It’s Only Slightly
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#17 Ahhh Yes The Infamous 10…
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#18 This Gem From Aita. Thinks She’s A Feminist While Belittling Another Woman
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Sadly, many of the posts on this list boil down to insecurities. We all know that if you’re actually a kind person, you don’t need to brag about it. It will be obvious to everyone around you. So when women brag about how wonderful they are, how beautiful they are, how all men would be lucky to have them and all women are jealous of them, it just makes me feel sorry for them. I hope that they can reach a place where they don’t feel the need to judge other women or compare themselves, but it doesn’t typically happen overnight. It might take therapy and a lot of educating yourself to understand that being “nice” and pretty is not enough to deserve everything you want in life. Being genuinely kind, focusing on bettering yourself, caring for the people around you and not being fixated on what other people think can do wonders for all of us, men and women.
#19 Omg So Unique!
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#20 I Hope This Poor Fella Runs
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#21 Imagine Being So Egoistic. Then Imagine Typing This Whole Thing, Thinking It’s Good And Actually Posting It. So Cringe
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Some of these “nice girls” exhibit behavior similar to “pick me” girls or “not like other girls” women. All of this behavior stems from internalized sexism, and none of it is healthy for women or men. Apoorva Phutela wrote an article for Feminism In India earlier this year exploring this idea, and she noted that one of the common ways this sexism manifests is through moral policing. “Independent and assertive women being labeled as ‘too loud’ and ‘too bossy’ by women who have conformed to patriarchal gender roles, reinforce sexist attitudes in the society,” Apoorva writes. “Instead of encouraging their daughters to be ambitious and independent, mothers are often seen asking them to ‘adjust’ and be ‘homely’ in order to sustain marriages.”
#22 Total Pick Me Moment – Yeigh Or Neigh?
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#23 Nice Girls Have Gone International!
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#24 Yes, Your Majesty
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But it can be hard for these “nice girls” to deconstruct a lifetime of sexist teaching. “Internalized sexism is harder to recognize and dismantle because when the victims become the perpetrators of the same kind of oppression that they have endured, they become the agents of patriarchy hoping for some kind of reconciliation with their own trauma or validation from their male counterparts for repeating the same actions that traumatized them.” The women on this list don’t have an excuse for being cruel or hateful towards others, but when we understand where it stems from, we can work on correcting it and helping future generations avoid the same brainwashing.
#25 “Why Am I Toxic?!?”
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#26 I’m Not Overly Obsessed, I Just Love Too Hard
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#27 Happened To My Friend After She Tried To Get Into Contact With Him And He Called Her Out On Her Sh**ty Behaviour
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Are these posts reminding you of anyone in your own life? If they are, it might be helpful to have an honest conversation with them about how their behavior might be having a negative effect on themselves and the people around them. These nice girls likely mean well, but they have a bit of learning to do. Keep upvoting the posts you find particularly shocking or cringey, and let us know in the comments below if you’ve ever encountered “nice girls” who might belong on this list. Then, if you haven’t already checked out our previous publications featuring the same subreddit, you can find those right here and here!
#28 The Sound Was “Nana Nana Boo Boo I F+ck Him More Than You Do-
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#29 Apparently All Women Go After Manipulative Men
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#30 I Think I Found One. What Do You Guys Think?
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#31 Lovely As Usual
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#32 Woman From My Hometown Is Not Happy
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#33 I Have 0 Recollection Of Who This Girl Is But She Sure Made Me A Bit Uncomfortable
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#34 Just Had This Interaction On Meetme. She Blocked Me Immediately After That
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#35 A Little Gem I Saw This Morning
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#36 I Had Low Expectations For Fb Dating Already, But Damn
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#37 I Said I’m A Nice Girl
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#38 What A Catch
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#39 Girl Says She Tried So Hard To Be Nice, Followed With Calling Other Girls Ugly Caked Up Bi**hes Just For Getting Boyfriends When She Couldn’t
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#40 Mother And Sister Excluded
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#41 I Got One, Yikes!
#42 All I Wanted To Do Was Know Why She Messaged Half A Year Later
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#43 The Op Does A Horrible Job At Hiding Her Jealous
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#44 Gave Her A Ride Once, Idk How People Think Like This
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#45 (22,m) Friends Girlfriend (28) Broke Up With Him. A Few Weeks Later She Asks If She Can Come Cuddle. He Tells Her He’s Dating Someone Else. Her Response:
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#46 “Said What I Said.” Like It’s A Hot Take
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#47 Men Are Responsible For Women’s Actions?
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#48 Boils Down To She Can’t Be A Nurse Because She Is Pretty And Men Like Her… But Ofc It’s Not That, It’s Concern For The Patients
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#49 Ah Yes, Your Presence Alone Will Fix Even The Most Broken Of Men
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#50 I Think I Just Found Out That A Facebook Friend Is A Nice Girl
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#51 Never Expected I’d Be Posting Here
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#52 I’m Guess I’m Just An Immature Boi…
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#53 A Wild Nice Girl Post From A Fb Friend. She Cheated On Her Kids Father
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#54 Yeah Have Fun Making Friends With That Post
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#55 I’m Not Happy So No One Else Should Be
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#56 Woe Her, Poor Soul, Missing Out On Rejection
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#57 “Stop Helping Men That Are Struggling” Yikes
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#58 So My Brother Sent Me These, She Apparently Saw A Picture Of Him And A Friend. They Only Been Talking For Like 4 Days
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#59 I Hate Apples
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#60 Messages My Friend Got From An Old Girlfriend
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#61 Wasnt Too Sure Where To Post This But Its Funny Af
#62 Nice Girl Gets Mad After I Refuse To Go Out With Her And Acts Like She Didnt Have Second Thoughts
#63 Her Delicious Meal
#64 Surprised This Was On My Fyp In The First Place But The Comments Shocked Me Even More
#65 Maybe Try A Little Less Self Pity