Headlines! They ought to be short, clear, and to the point. Ideally, they’ll also have a dash of humor or a cheesy pun thrown in to keep us entertained. Considering the massive amount of information each and every one of us is bombarded with on a daily basis, we prefer to get our news bite-sized and easily digestible. Who has the time to read everything cover to cover, anyway? And those of us who find the time for long-form content really want to know what kind of story we’re getting into. Some headlines, however, totally catch us off guard and make us do a double take.
So much so that we can’t help but sink our teeth into the story because of how dystopian it sounds. Bored Panda has collected the weirdest news story headlines out there that were probably meant to sound super wholesome and cheerful, yet are actually anything but. Tone-deaf and miserable? Yup, yup. Feel-good and heartwarming? Nope, nope.
Listen beautiful relax classics on our Youtube channel.
Once you think about it for more than two seconds, you realize just how messed up the stories really are. Like features about coworkers donating their time off to a seriously sick colleague. Or people teleworking from the hospital. Or posts about kids starting up businesses to pay off someone’s debt. It really makes you think that these acts of kindness wouldn’t be needed if society prioritized different things.
If you have any faith in humanity left, we suggest you lock it up tight somewhere safe, dear Pandas. Where we’re going, we’ll only have unfairness and outrage as our companions. Share your opinions on these headlines and stories in the comments. And be sure to check out Bored Panda’s chat about the news, clickbait, and being overwhelmed by negativity with Ariane Sherine. She is the editor at ‘These Three Rooms,’ is super media-savvy, and has published a whole bunch of awesome books. You’ll find the full interview below.
#1
Image credits: MoggyBee
#2
Image credits: meidasjordy
#3
Image credits: yashar
Writer and editor Ariane shared her insights about how to make a headline stand out from the crowd and why clickbait works.
“Work out what in the article people want to know most, and then write a headline that suggests they’ll learn that if they click on it—but ensure the payoff is just as good as the headline promises,” she shared some of her journalistic expertise with Bored Panda.
#4
Image credits: jentrification
#5
Image credits: LEBassett
#6
Image credits: Public_Citizen
“Clickbait works because people are desperate to know the ‘one weird trick that doctors don’t want you to know!’ or similar. When it turns out that the trick is actually something really mundane, readers feel cheated,” she said, adding that this probably won’t stop them from clicking on future clickbait headlines. In short, clickbait works, but you really don’t want to mess with your readers’ expectations. You’ve gotta make it worth their while.
#7
Listen beautiful relax classics on our Youtube channel.
Image credits: Notintheface1
#8
Image credits: MJFINESSELOVER
#9
Image credits: Bmchris44
According to media expert Ariane, from the UK, bad news tends to be a lot more dramatic than good news. And, well, drama really makes for a more entertaining read, no matter how miserable the story might be.
“This instinct towards drama and not empathy doesn’t show humanity in its best light,” she said.
In her opinion, people read negative news for the same reason why they gawp at car crashes. “They want to ogle at what’s happened because it’s dramatic and entertaining and scary, but it’s also a warning of what could happen to them if they’re not careful.”
#10
Image credits: JustSayXtian
#11
Image credits: MRTA03
#12
Image credits: JoshuaPotash
We can easily become overwhelmed by all the negativity on the news and on social media. The truth is that life isn’t as horrible and evil as it’s presented: there’s a lot of beauty and good to be found, too.
Writer and editor Ariane shared her advice on what to do if you feel like you’re drowning in all the drama and awful headlines.
#13
Image credits: IfBarack
#14
Image credits: WrittenByHanna
#15
Image credits: Nigerian_OG
“Turn off the telly or computer and immerse yourself in the good things in life. Pet a dog, spend time with the kids, run a hot bubble bath, read a lighthearted rom-com, speak to a cheery friend you care about, or go for a walk in the sunshine. It won’t mean there aren’t bad things in the world anymore of course, but shifting your focus will mean you soon feel a bit brighter and happier.” Any advice that involves petting dogs is 100% accurate, according to our local doggos and pupperinos.
#16
George Floyd did not sacrifice his life for shit, he was murdered by a racist cop in a racist system
Image credits: reddit.com
#17
Image credits: deepwatermike
#18
Image credits: feather_of_charcoal
Quite a few of the wholesome-but–actually-awful news stories that come out from the United States have to do with the mess of a healthcare system that’s in place. We’ve covered why the system doesn’t work before, but in short, there are a lot of funds wasted on administrative costs, competition is scarce, and insurance providers care more about keeping costs down than patients healthy.
#19
A child can’t stay on the transplant list, solely because he’s homeless.
Image credits: livfenty
#20
Image credits: UltimateWebRedditor
#21
Image credits: GravelInstitute
A while back, Bored Panda spoke to Dr. Andrew Carroll, the head of Atembis LLC, about how healthcare providers have a clear financial incentive to keep the system as it currently is.
“It will be very difficult to reduce the administrative costs without overhauling the payment system altogether,” he told us.
#22
Image credits: johnogpdx
#23
Image credits: jules_su
#24
Image credits: sharynesque
“Unfortunately, these payers tend not to have altruistic intentions towards their members. They cater to the advantage of the employers paying for the benefits, who want to try and spend the least amount of money they can,” Dr. Carroll said.
“Employers that pay for benefits will need to demand more of the companies providing the benefits or patients will need to file class-action lawsuits to demand that benefits due to them are not unduly restricted, as they are today.”
#25
Image credits: nokia621
#26
Image credits: mortalstampede
#27
Image credits: LifeLivedWildly
Meanwhile, media expert Mike Sington, from LA, shared his thoughts about our shortening attention spans.
“Our attention spans have been reduced to mere seconds at a time because that’s the way information and entertainment is fed to us now. People get tiny bite-sized bits of news by scrolling a Twitter feed, they entertain themselves by scrolling quickly through Instagram and TikTok. It’s creating a habit that doesn’t have to be,” he explained to Bored Panda during an earlier interview.
#28
Crying at work
Image credits: Winkelkater
#29
Aww it’s so cute, he is so rich he has no idea about life at all, yet he has so much power
Image credits: MyDarkKnightRose
#30
Image credits: speechboy71
“The good news is there’s plenty of long-form entertainment and news available, you just have to seek it out. I believe the benefit is worth it. I’ve discovered it improves your ability to focus, it’s more calming, you retain more information, and it gives you a more balanced and nuanced view of the world,” he advised people to try and change how they consume the news.
#31
Image credits: socializm_
#32
Work till you’re dead
Image credits: TheBakerification
#33
Uhhh…”drawback”?
Image credits: fafabull
#34
Image credits: BelleAriel
#35
Magic
Image credits: Morsman
#36
Multigenerational wars are a good thing, right?
Image credits: incogburritos
#37
Image credits: Voodoo_Pork
#38
Image credits: francescomuttini
#39
Image credits: marilynmonroesthong
#40
A very cruel and efficient system
Image credits: LynettaShade
#41
I don’t even have words, this is just [messed] up.
Image credits: the_manda-core
#42
Image credits: UltraBlue92
#43
People Incarcerated by State Do More Fore Student Than State
Image credits: Semiattractivetamale
#44
Image credits: kevinowdziej
#45
Image credits: DeanIsDear
#46
Image credits: wsvn
#47
it’s honestly just a black mirror ripoff at this point
Image credits: ActivatedFamiliar
#48
Image credits: j_a_hoffman
#49
Image credits: Public_Citizen
#50
Image credits: throwaway8902929383
#51
Image credits: Gritty20202
#52
Image credits: WindyGrado
#53
$2.3 billion fire planetary life support, $37 billion for new cop toys to use against commoners. Regardless of your political affiliation, it should terrify everyone when a president with a 39% approval rating announces a gigantic, sweeping police budget increase.
Image credits: KingApologist
#54
NHS staff is overworked and hospital are missing 12k doctors and 50k nurses – but yes, if you stay you get a free BBQ served to you by volunteers
Image credits: Tythan
#55
Image credits: SteveFrench12
#56
Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it
Image credits: orchid_breeder
#57
We live in a backwards society where we allow the elderly to attend college for nearly nothing when thousands of students are struggling with school debt
Image credits: fluffyolives
#58
Image credits: Soundwave_47
#59
Peak late stage capitalism
Image credits: RusskiyDude
#60
Image credits: BelleAriel
#61
Image credits: mdsign
#62
Image credits: Inqubate
#63
Because selling your childhood for your mother to afford a car should be a thing to brag about.
Image credits: TheStorkClipper
#64
Great success for homeless studnets
Image credits: venona
#65
I’m sure the workers didn’t need that money anyway
Image credits: eberndt9614
#66
Image credits: PensiveGaryBusey
#67
We’re really at that point
Image credits: Saiyan343
#68
Image credits: reddit.com
#69
Seen in Brooklyn. This isn’t clever, Doordash. Just sad
Image credits: elliemcgregor
#70
Pinky promises work, right?
Image credits: scary_biscott
Source: boredpanda.com