American problems require American solutions!
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Well, we’re over the six month hump into this COVID nightmare, and one thing has become abundantly clear: some of you can’t be trusted to do anything right. Like I said, we’re past the six month mark now, and why is that! Why are we still here! Because the stupid government keeps reopening restaurants and bars and schools, and because stupid people won’t wear their goddamn masks!
We asked you to do one thing, you have ONE job.
But apparently throwing a piece of fabric over your face when you walk in a grocery store is too tall of an order for some people, which is why we can’t have anything nice, like, maybe, a declining number of coronavirus cases or something. Those of us who actually want this to stop one day can’t exactly take matters into our own hands and slap masks on all the You’re Taking Away My Rights To Die Of COVID enthusiasts, because, y’know, social distancing and all.
You know what they say, modern problems require modern solutions, and amazingly, someone now has that solution.
Allen Pan, an engineer-slash-all-around-cool-guy you probably know from Mythbusters, has figured out a way to tackle the anti-masker problem quickly, efficiently, and in the most American way possible.
A friggin’ mask gun.
This is it, this is what the forefathers were talking about when they wrote the Second Amendment.
Not only did Allen build this brilliant device, he breaks down step-by-step how he built it in his YouTube video. So, should you also happen to be an engineer with access to welding equipment, you, too, can pick-up the torch and start covering up those bare pie holes around town! (Probably test it first, though.)