Editor’s note: Leg day at the gym a heated topic but you can also overdo it, as this chair shows us. We also wonder if Veritas used to sell a giant tenon cutter in the distant past.
Please beware that salty talk follows. To reduce its negative effects we found a nice recipe of strawberry tea with lots of honey. Click more to read more….
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Klaus: Alright, homies. Did you bring any chairs to this party of inbreds?
Rudy: Yes, dear.
Chris: Shall we start with the pretty one?
Klaus: Which one is the pretty one?
Chris: We can do this one:
Chris: Wow. What Big Holes you have. Look at those mortises!
Klaus: Yes, my child, they are for inserting things in.
Chris: That is a man-sized tenon.
Rudy: Perhaps the maker was a porn star?
Chris: Or his nickname was Baby Fist.
Rudy and Klaus: Hahaha! Oh dear…
Chris: It started so well!
Rudy: We are already going very much downhill.
Klaus: This went south so quickly. By the way there’s a fifth tenon.
Chris : You’re right. A plug. So it was a three-legger. Converted to four when the family finally got linoleum floors.
Rudy: Yes. Or the leg broke off.
Klaus: That could very well be. And then the father got scoliosis and they had to raise the arm on the side of the chair.
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Chris : Maybe. So I’m gonna say it. Those legs are too thick for my eye.
Klaus: But are they too thick for your… Never mind.
Rudy: Yup, me too. that’s the first thing that I noticed when I saw this chair. Big black sausages.
Klaus: Yes, they are way too chunky
Chris : The front legs. The newer legs are probably OK.
Rudy: The 3rd leg would have been fat as well, judging from the big leftover tenon.
Chris: It might have looked better with three legs.
Klaus: I was just about to say it would look a lot better with just three legs. But this was perhaps just a stool before, and they upgraded the whole thing.
Rudy: You mean that they added the sticks and arm later?
Chris: What makes you think that??
Klaus: I don’t know!! Can’t a man just assume things here?!
Chris: Not a Chair Chat
Man. We only make baseless accusations. Not assumptions.
Rudy: I like the shape of the seat. And the seat’s underbevel.
Chris: Above the seat the chair is better for sure.
Klaus: The seat seems to be one piece, yes?
Chris : The arm and back are fairly well shaped and cleverly put together.
Rudy: quite a charming view from here. Of course you can’t really see the front legs in all their fat glory.
Chris : Yup. The arm construction reminds me of bones for some reason. Might be the shapes at the ends.
Klaus: Yup.
Rudy: I keep wanting to call this thing bony too. Bony with fat legs.
Klaus: Some of the front sticks are protruding below the seat, too.
Rudy: Yes! Quite far even. And it looks like the seat was damaged right around the front sticks.
Klaus: Yes, it looks like those two protruding sticks split the seat. And I wonder why some of them are so close to the edge.
Chris: Probably a small seat. So you have to push out to the edge.
Klaus: They definitely split the seat there. The seat itself is very straight grained and would split easily, I think.
Rudy: The split at the front left goes all the way to the front leg mortise.
Chris: Look at the rearmost stick in the arm. Is it blind into the arm?
Klaus : Definitely looks like that, Chris.
Chris: That’s Odd.
Rudy: I think I see a wedge…?
Klaus: There also seems to be a short stick connecting the arms there?
Chris: Nope. I am seeing things wrong! There are three arm sticks. I had it confused. There’s definitely a short stick joining the arms. Perhaps a hint of a wedge from below if you look at the far arm.
Klaus: Yeah. If I made this chair I would leave out the rearmost stick and instead mortise one stick through the joint of the arms and into the seat.
Rudy: Yes, that would be a stronger solution than this I think.
Chris: That was my first thought.
Rudy: Then yet, it is an old chair…
Chris: Always respect a survivor.
Chris: I suspect the backrest is a curved branch. Look at where the back joins the arm. The one at the back. Not the front. Then look below. Little nubbin sticking out.
Rudy: Yes, if you zoom in you can see a small wedge at the bottom.
Klaus: Ah yes.
Rudy: Or maybe it is a small piece of a turd.
Klaus: I was waiting for that one!
Rudy: I like the small carved part on the back of the arm, where it meets the back rest.
Chris: Whoever made this had some sense of style.
Klaus: Definitely. I must say I like this kind of arm construction. I would like to try it once.
Chris: I made three chairs like this and couldn’t them to come out right. Only one survived…. I have it in the basement.
Klaus: Oh really? Can I see some photos of them some time?
Chris: They looked weird.
Rudy: What was the issue? The dowel joint?
Klaus: He uses pocket holes, Rudy!
Rudy: Right. Sorry!
Chris: Wait until you see the framing nailer I used to assemble my chairs.
Rudy: That will be covered in your next blog post right?
Chris: I can’t show ALL my dirty laundry!
Chris: It was me, not the idea. I just couldn’t get the feel for how it should look. It’s trickier than a comb back. Most end up looking like a box up top. This one has some grace.
Rudy: ignoring the fat legs it does have some style, this one.
Klaus: it does have some grace
Chris: Straight on, this chair looks like ass. Pure ass.
Rudy and Klaus: Hahaha!
Rudy: Well then I suppose I am an assman.
Klaus: Pure ass can be pretty good, Chris
Chris: As long as it’s really pure. Not like that time in the gas station.
Klaus: What was that?
Chris: Nothing.
Rudy: Nevermind.
Klaus: OK, let’s leave that behind.
Rudy: Haha, good one Klaus.
Klaus: Anyway, what happened to the arm? Why is it wonky?
Chris: What’s wonky?
Klaus: I mean how does one end up with an arm like that? It’s higher up on one side.
Rudy: I think the maker did his best to make it pretty. Maybe it was a branch that was slightly misformed?
Klaus: Haha.
Chris: Is it because the sticks descended?
Klaus: No, they descend on the higher side… Such things just make me curious. I mean, he obviously had an eye for detail (except for the legs).
Chris: I think the maker was working with the sticks at hand.
Klaus: And then suddenly the arm goes to hell and he’s like.. well, that’s it! Done!
Chris: I honestly didn’t think it was wonky. I just assumed it was what he/she had on hand.
Klaus: Huh. He probably didn’t have a saw.
Rudy: The two arms look in balance, the back is a nice rounded shape – what’s not to like!
Chris: The legs.
Klaus: The legs!
Rudy: True. Next chair!
Source: lostartpress.com