Sports website Fanjuicer.com surveyed 1,488 fans to see how they ranked each NFL team’s logo. They then got a professional graphic designer to critique each logo, printing their assessment. We view that as muscling in on our territory, so we’re responding here with our own design critique of all 32 teams’ logos.

Pittsburgh Steelers

This looks like you let your child paint the front of your Subaru

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Oakland Raiders

Here’s a tough warrior who can easily see and dispatch anyone who approaches him (as long as they come from his left side)

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Detroit Lions

This lion works as a mime who climbs invisible staircases

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Houston Texans

“It should look like a bull who idolizes Paul Stanley”

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L.A. Chargers

This looks like a superhero worm with the ability to generate current

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Cleveland Browns

Oh come on, you’re not even trying. Isn’t this part of the stock art for a Microsoft program?

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Cincinnati Bengals

This hurts my eyes. I see a B, then a JV, then a bunch of black knives that someone uses to stab a graphic designer to death

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Chicago Bears

I don’t like the pretentious little pointy part on the back of the C. As if it’s trying to look somehow better and fancier than a B or a D. This lousy C thinks that it’s shit doesn’t stink

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Kansas City Chiefs

Is there anything worse than when someone tries to draw random variation and it just comes out consistent? Nice job on the wavy lines of the flinthead. FAIL

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San Francisco 49ers

This logo tells you three things about the designer: He likes the S on Superman’s chest, he owns an ellipse template, and he only has an Associate’s Degree

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Indianapolis Colts

In college this designer pledged the Omega frat and had a bunch of iron-on logos left over after his T-shirt business failed

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Baltimore Ravens

I liked this logo better in its first iteration on the 1960s “Batman” TV show

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New York Giants

“Let’s make the tail of the Y underline the N. So the Y quite literally underscores the N to emphasize it, highlighting the relationship, the interplay, the dominance and subservience of the two letters within the context of–” OH MY GOD SHUT UP, SHUT UP. I WILL PUNCH YOU

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New York Jets

This looks like a doormat. I want to wipe my feet on it

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Jacksonville Jaguars

This jaguar wandered into a 7-11, helped himself to a Slurpee and is now being confronted by Animal Control

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New England Patriots

This looks like it tastes like Sam Adams

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Tampa Bay Buccaneers

It makes no sense that you would attach a flag to a sword. It would just cut the flag and the wind would carry it away and you’d look like a real jerk

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Miami Dolphins

This looks like Aquaman was trying to find himself and experimenting with different chest logos

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Tennessee Titans

Given America’s current political climate, the intertwined blue and red flames are a little too on-the-nose for me

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Washington Redskins

This looks like a Native American wearing a spacesuit bubble helmet where he put feathers on the outside, too. We get it, the feathers are important

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Dallas Cowboys

This looks like it was designed by a colorblind Vietnamese patriot

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Seattle Seahawks

Does the U.S. Postal Service have a football team?

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Buffalo Bills

This looks like a medical cutaway diagram illustrating an ill-advised pathway for a lobotomy

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Green Bay Packers

This looks like the logo on a jar from a company that makes gherkins

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New Orleans Saints

The fleur-de-lis is a symbol of the French monarchy, which hasn’t been a factor since the 19th century. What better way to strike terror into the hearts of an opposing team

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Philadelphia Eagles

It’s an eagle, but an angry one, you can tell by the eyes

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Carolina Panthers

It’s a panther, but an angry one, you can tell by the eyes

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Arizona Cardinals

It’s a cardinal, but an angry one, you can tell by the eyes

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Denver Broncos

It’s a horse, but an angry one, you can tell by the eyes. And also because the other horses keep calling him “Ginger”

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Minnesota Vikings

This poor-postured Viking with chronic lower back pain

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Atlanta Falcons

This looks like a bird that has an H.R. Giger alien popping out of its chest

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St. Louis Rams

“I know that rams don’t have their mouths open when they butt heads, but I want this to look like a mouth-breathing ram”

Source: core77