Author and cartoonist Scott Adams once noted that “Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.”
And while you can explain lotteries using numbers, and religion using philosophy, dating, relationships, and love in general are tough nuts to crack. But some still do try to explain themselves when it comes to dating, even if their reasoning is petty.
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Not too long ago, folks on Reddit shared reasons—petty, yet more or less still rightful or fair enough ones, and sometimes just plain weird—to not date someone. And if you’ve been here long enough, you’ll know we covered a similar thread not too long ago, so you can check that out once you’re done with this one.
So, scroll down to enjoy some of the best and most entertaining responses to the now-viral thread, which garnered over 36,000 upvotes, and be sure to share your petty ‘never dating this person’ stories in the comment section below.
More Info: Reddit
#1 Chewing Like A Barbarian
Chews with their mouth open.
Image credits: eyksm
#2 Grammar Is A Foreign Concept
“‘cUs sHe TeXteD LiKe dIs! :):):):) :p:p:p:p =))))))”
Image credits: shrillysoupygusto
#3 Botox Is A Step Too Far
I can’t date anyone with lip injections. It felt super unnatural kissing her. Like kissing a baboon with rigor mortis.
Image credits: RealGrendel
#4 Cringey Home Decor
Live, laugh, love style home decor.
Image credits: XenophonOnTheLawn
#5 So, Are You A Virgo…?
Into star signs and the like. To the point of being reminded what sign you are which somehow has an effect of who you and your personality traits lol
Image credits: Slug212
#6 Can She Stop With The Disney Already?
If they’re super into Disney stuff, it creeps me out for some reason.
Image credits: OkCoast9806
#7 I’m Reading A Book, Man, Don’t You Ever Interrupt Me While I’m Reading A Book!
I almost broke up with a girl when she was trying to be seductive and yanked my book out of my hand and closed it losing my spot.
Image credits: superopie
#8 “God Told Me…”
I had a guy break up with me in high school because God told him to… I was like uh okay guess I can’t argue with that one.
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Image credits: GreatPancakee
#9 Room Temperature IQ
My wife once told me she couldn’t be with someone who wasn’t around the same level of intelligence as she. I have no idea how I’m going to keep it a secret that I’m a f*****g idiot the rest of our lives.
Image credits: seenthewolf
#10 So Who Wants To Talk About Religion And Politics?
People that like to “debate” too much. I’m all for having your own opinion but when someone thinks they have to be the devil’s advocate constantly? No thanks.
Image credits: sylvy8991
#11 Apple Juice Is Life
I instantly noped out of an otherwise fine blind date when she ordered apple juice – off menu – at a fancy restaurant. 19-year-old me only knew apple juice as a toddler’s drink, and I just couldn’t get past it.
I’m no longer that petty. But I did make the mistake of mentioning this to my wife once, many years ago. And she now makes a habit of ordering apple juice whenever we’re at a fancy restaurant, just to see if I squirm.
Image credits: pbspry
They pronounce the word “expresso” when they mean “espresso”, or “expecially” instead of “especially.”
Image credits: Grimace_aintnoshake
#13 Eating Pizza “Separately”
She ate pizza with her hands.No, not like you think. She would scoop up the toppings in a messy pile and like a animal, claw them up and eat them then rip the bread and eat it.We were at a fancy italian place and I got horrified.
Image credits: Breadrozt
#14 Being Loud
She talks to people like they’re a hundred meter away from her.
Image credits: friededs3
If their Instagram is nothing but selfies, especially if they’re striking the same pose in every shot. I had a match like that and it honestly creeped me out.
Image credits: Ellemeno
#16 Miranda Lambert Is A Saint
Ended things with a guy over various other reasons, but the most annoying was how many times he told me that “He’d leave me for Miranda Lambert in a heart beat”. Which okay, I get it some people have a ‘list’ of celebrities they’d leave their S/O over, mostly as a joke. But this was like everyday, just randomly said not related to the conversations we were having at the time, and he meant it. He made sure I understood that if for some god forsaken reason Miranda Lambert walked in through the front door, I was gone.
Image credits: Kiasurp17
#17 Not Fast, Nor Furious Enough
She said i drove slow on our date. She likes men that live “dangerously”
It snowed heavily while we were at a fancy dinner. I was in my father’s car because I had just gotten back from Iraq.
She called me a week later, I said I need a woman that is more down to earth.
Image credits: S*****nwithmykitten
#18 Not Really An Outdoors Person
She insisted on hanging out at home. She lived with like 6 people, and they always had friends over. I felt like a bf extra on Friends or Seinfeld.
Image credits: NewEnglandRoastBeef
#19 I Don’t Know How Eating Works
He ate with closed fists around his utensils like a toddler and his face right up to his food like someone was going to steal it.
Image credits: Firejen
#20 Question Everything
She did that thing with her voice where every sentence she said ended with a question mark.
Follow-up: Since so many people have asked, she was not Australian. She’s American.
Image credits: Pennaflumen
#21 Why Linger On The Past If You Can Look Forward To The Future?
She didn’t like museums.
Image credits: AyUnit
#22 Who Wears Fake Glasses Anyway?!
He wore fake glasses and didn’t like vegetables.
Image credits: DHKillinger
White spittle gathering at the edge of the mouth. I can forgive or overlook a lot of things, but that’s an instant turnoff.
Edit: Every day is a school day! Apparently this can be a sign of dehydration or linked to another condition I’ve seen called Angular Cheilitis.
Image credits: PlasticFannyTastic
#24 Mamma’s Boy
She had the same name as my mom.
Image credits: waqasnaseem07
#25 Where’s The Mute Button?
Loud person. No. I hate it.
Image credits: iamthecherryontop
My grandparents were very southern. When I was a kid, I spent the night at their house and heard them…wrestling. I heard my grandpa say my grandma’s name, Sarah, but with his accent he said “Ooh Say-ruh!”
I met a girl named Sarah who was also southern. When she introduced herself as “Say-ruh” I had to nope out. It just gave me the heebie jeebies.
Image credits: Sp3nc3r420
#27 Arm-Swinging.exe Not Found
I broke up with a pretty hot girl when I was younger because she didn’t swing her arms when she walked. It just looked weird and reminded me of a gorilla. Really stupid reason I know, but it just looked so stupid and I couldn’t overcome it.
Image credits: Macklemonster
#28 Gonna Eat Whatever I Want, Whenever I Want
They are deathly allergic to nuts.
The idea of never having Nutella or Snickers again- or risk killing my partner with a kiss- is too much.
Image credits: Pithy-
#29 What A Nominal Coincidence!?
She had the same first name and last name as my grandpa.
Image credits: Fit_Sheepherder_3894
#30 Cat Names Are A Serious Factor Here
Only went on one date but he named his cat Creamy, and the way he said it grossed me out.
Image credits: GoBanana42