“I don’t like to brag, but–”

We all know humility is a great quality to have, but there is a time and place for celebrating our accomplishments as well. Earn your PhD? You deserve to be proud of that. Beat a life-threatening illness? I wouldn’t blame you for telling everyone you know. Complete an ultramarathon? That’s something worth posting on Facebook about. But if you get less than 5 hours of sleep every night, can drink an entire bottle of tequila by yourself or think all of your exes are “toxic and crazy”, you might want to keep those things to yourself…

One curious Reddit user recently asked people to share things others brag about that signal red flags, and readers did not hold back in the replies. So below, we’ve gathered a list of some of those qualities and “accomplishments” people should stop being so proud of to remind you pandas which boasts to look out for.

Be sure to upvote the responses you strongly agree with, and let us know in the comments any other brags that would send you running out the door. Then if you’d like to read another Bored Panda article discussing red flags to look out for, look no further than right here!

#1

The people who instantly have a solution for everything.

Fat? Eat less. Addicted? Quit. Depressed? Smile more. Broke? Get a better job. Tired? Sleep more.

There is nuance to the issues of society. Major red flag if you’re in your 20’s or older and can’t critically think.

Image credits: BeefInGR

#2

They boast about how many drinks they can hold “and still drive home without a problem.”

Image credits: Back2Bach

#3

Self-victimizers who need to out-victimize everyone within a 100 foot radius. No one – and I mean *no one* – has *ever* had it harder than they did/do. One-uppers (or one-downers?) extraordinaire.

Also, ‘Nice Guys’. “I’m the nicest guy you’ll ever meet” = Run!

Image credits: Herbrugglesbezos

#4

When a professor brags about how many people have failed their class

Image credits: Whenwillthisend12

#5

Bragging about successfully tricking people.

Not like April Fools harmless pranks, stuff like stealing or cheating.

Image credits: Mikeavelli

#6

Bragging about how people are scared of them and no one will ever cross them because they know they will get there a*s beat, how crazy they are

Image credits: lysdgn

#7

“Owning” or “Triggering” people: “I’m so difficult to get along with that I was able to annoy someone into an outburt with only a brief interraction.” really isn’t the flex some people think it is.

Image credits: Inlerah

#8

How crazy all their exes are

Image credits: CaterpillarNo6795

#9

How much they work and how little they sleep. That’s an unbalanced person and they’re unlikely to have an idea of “success” that includes other people.

Image credits: powerfulmojo

#10

Men who can’t talk to women like they’re human beings and refer to them as “females”

Image credits: Cynicole24

#11

“I don’t have a filter.”

Image credits: HopeDeferred

#12

How they grew up in a time when raging abuse was the norm. And they “turned out just fine”…

Image credits: ironicf8

#13

How they can get any guy they wanted, married or not

Image credits: contrarychimera

#14

How much they “don’t care what other people think.”

If you have to constantly tell others and yourself “I don’t care,” you *totally* do, you just wish you didn’t.

Image credits: Debaser626

#15

“Over half of you will quit this class before the semester ends. The half of that remaining will fail” Had a professor say this and could only think man you must be a sh***y teacher. Searched him up and sure enough most people quit because the way he taught was counterproductive and half the class time was spent talking down to them. I requested to be added to a different professor.

Image credits: Vanishingf0x

#16

Their “alpha” status. Their high standards.

#17

Scoring four touchdowns in a single game for Polk High School in Chicago during the 1966 City Championship

#18

Being “brutally honest” or “having no filter.” This usually signals a severe lack of tact.
Source: Me. I was this guy in my early 20s and have since chilled out.

#19

Bragging about not knowing things.

Also, bragging about how little they sleep.

Image credits: The5thDoppelganger

#20

I have a coworker who is kind of like the first one. She is generally a one-upper, and she has had a really hard life. But you can’t talk about yourself for more than 30 seconds before she has a story about either how awesome she is, or how much harder than you she’s had it. It’s exhausting.

Image credits: JulesLovesYou1993

#21

“I am (such a) a nice person”.
If you have to point it out, it’s probably not true.

Image credits: Mellissimomo

#22

This is the relationship version of, “If you work with a guy who’s an a**hole, then that guy’s an a**hole. If you work with 20 guys and every last one is them is an asshole, you’re the asshole.”

Image credits: DerCatzefragger

#23

How quickly they cut people out of their lives.

Sometimes it can be a good thing to cut people out of your life. There are definitely people who are toxic to you and you are better off without their influence or presence. But it should almost always be bittersweet to actually do this.

People who actually brag about this usually are people who refuse to accept personal fault, or to work on themselves at all.

Image credits: makesyoudownvote

#24

Ah, the person at my job who bought up all the toilet paper during the pandemic so they could sell it to coworkers at an inflated price.

They can keep their Mercedes. I’d rather not be a monster.

Image credits: Reis_Asher

#25

Being “good at manipulation.” Nuh-uh rule one of manipulation is to seem trustworthy

#26

being toxic, “omg I’m literally so manipulative uwu? everyone’s afraid of me hehehe I’m so problematic and toxic, I constantly get cancelled online for *insert problematic/
offensive statement* No one can mess with me or else I’ll dox them, spread rumors and [take out] their whole family?I once beat someone up for bumping into me and I constantly use people for my own sake ahahaha“

Image credits: userhvfegcd

#27

People who base their life choices on f*****g astrology

#28

Their luxurious material possessions and lavish lifestyle despite using debt and not having the money to support such a lifestyle.

Image credits: HeaviestMetal89

#29

If a woman says “I’m not about that drama b******t” she is ALL about that drama.

#30

Firing their employees. It can be necessary to do so, but when you brag about it (so real *bragging*, not just telling), it sounds like you love executing power over weaker people and hurting them.

Image credits: Lvcivs2311

#31

How much they identify with The Joker, Tommy Shelby, Tyler Durden, Jordan Belfort, or a number of other characters like that.

#32

Getting a rise out of people isn’t particularly a difficult thing to do. People just do this because they like the feeling of control that they get like they can make someone else mad. I used to do this when I was younger, but then I realized I was just being an immature asshole.

Image credits: SpeakerImaginary9796

#33

How “in the know” they are.

At some point, it just becomes you turning into a conspiracy nut

Image credits: TheWronged_Citizen

#34

Owning dangerous pet

Owning a lot of guns

Being racist or anti gay

Being rich

Being promiscuous

#35

This is going back to my high school days but I knew a kid who bragged that her mam didn’t care. She could drink, smoke and do drugs! Half the time when you’d stop by her mother would offer to get you drugs. I learnt early on this isn’t cool and is a massive red flag.

I’m not saying i’ve grown up to be sober and perfect but even I think it’s messed up to offer it to your kid. She literally didn’t care, she slept over at mine most days till social got involved. She used to brag to everyone at school though even after she’d been removed from her mother that she was cool.

Sad to think how she turned out really.
Source: boredpanda.com