How Much Damage Would Kool-Aid Man Do in Dungeons & Dragons if He Dropped on Top of Someone?

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Today, on Twitter, I ran across the calculated weight of Koolaid-Man, the mascot of the Kool-Aid drink brand. Canonically, he’s 6 feet tall. So, assuming that he’s made of glass 3.6 inches thick that contains 607.6 gallons of water (plus the Kool-Aid mix and sugar), then he would weigh 11,000 pounds.

Kool-Aid man already exists as a monster in fifth edition Dungeons & Dragons. He has many powers, including magic resistance, the ability to charge an enemy, and what amounts to bardic inspiration.

These statistics made me wonder how much damage Kool-Aid Man could do if he was dropped on top of someone, which would be a useful action during combat. Although official sources address falling damage (how much damage a character takes by falling), it is silent on damage inflicted by falling objects. There is, though, some online debate upon it.

One set of house rules assumes that an object in excess of 200 pounds falling 10 feet would do 20d6 (twenty six-sided dice) points of damage. For Kool-Aid Man, that would scale up to 1,100d6, which would be, on average, 3,850 hit points. Since almost all player characters would have hit points in the low double digits, a drop attack by Kool-Aid Man would leave a mark.

I am, of course, assuming a straight drop. If Kool-Aid Man is moving along a parabolic trajectory, the damage could be different. We might need to consult a physicist. Alex hired me for Neatorama based on my good looks, not my brains.

So, in short: Kool-Aid Man can do lot of damage. Maybe your party could avoid combat by having the bard attempt to seduce Kool-Aid Man.

Source: neatorama

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