There’s probably no stronger instinct than that of a mother’s to protect her kids from harm’s way. We don’t give moms enough credit as is: the pain, the sacrifice, the unconditional love given at their own expense. You think she didn’t want that last piece of cake that she so vehemently placed on your plate just to see that smile light up your face?
But kids can be tough, especially when they feel as though they’ve figured out what life is all about. Their egos run at a higher frequency than their IQs can catch up with during the very tumultuous time of teenagehood, leading to lots of miscommunication and misunderstandings. One of those we’re about to get into today.
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One mom turned to the AITA community on Reddit to ask whether she was right to remove her teenage son’s bedroom door after an altercation occurred between the two of them: she thought he was in danger, he thought she was being dramatic. The door was the casualty.
After you’ve read the story, dear Pandas, don’t forget to check out the opinions of your fellow netizens and leave your own in the comments below. Do you think she was in the wrong? Was she fully in the right? Let us know. And if you’re craving more stories like this, you can check this one right here. Now let’s get into it!
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A mom’s instinct to protect her children is an unmatched force, sometimes strong enough to break through locked doors, just to ensure her kids are okay
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Looking back at our teenage years, it’s hard not to cringe. We thought we knew it all! We were ready to take on the world, to be adults, to make it right, and show ’em how it’s done. Deluded by possibility is one way to put it… and also, very angry. Angry to not be understood, angry at the rules, angry for the lack of freedom.
However, the people having to take it are usually the parents. My mom and I had some screaming matches back in the day (love ya, Mom!), but it never came close to a door being broken, as it did in the story we’re about to delve into. A confused mom of two decided to seek some answers from the r/AmIthe[Jerk] subreddit after what occurred with her teenage son.
Loud noises, broken doors, and lots of upset. Sounds like a rock album, but those were the key moments that led up to and resulted in a door being removed from the teenage son’s room after his mom burst through, breaking it off the hinges. Both sides aren’t happy, but who’s the jerk? Let’s figure it out.
One such mom decided to ask the online community whether she was in the right to remove her teenage son’s bedroom door after he refused to answer her
Although it’s important for teens to have their personal space and a sense of control over their lives, there are certain boundaries that should be enforced
Image credits: meta0data (not the actual photo)
The adolescent years are filled with anxiety, frustration, fear, and other things that fall under the umbrella of teenage angst. Tamekia Reece stated on Good Housekeeping that many teens don’t know how to process those feelings, it all bubbling out as anger.
Part of it is physiology and the shifts that the body and mind are trying to adapt to. “The hormonal changes that occur during adolescence make teens more volatile and more likely to be expressive rather than reflective,” says Dr. Bernard Golden, psychologist and author.
Furthermore, the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for reasoning, planning, and decision-making, is still not fully developed in teens, so their emotions tend to override rational thoughts, he explains.
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Adding to that are all the responsibilities a teen is trying to manage: school, homework, extracurricular activities, changing dynamics in friendships and relationships, social media, possibly a part-time job, and pressure to make huge life decisions like what college to attend. It can be overwhelming.
Other reasons for a teen’s temper are that they’re feeling misunderstood, they’re cranky because they’re not getting enough sleep, or—a big one—they want more independence. As stated by Dr. Christine L. Carter, parents who are too controlling—those who don’t step down from their manager roles—breed rebellion. This cannot be overstated: Healthy, self-disciplined, motivated teenagers have a strong sense of control over their lives.
But there is a line. Letting teens become decision-makers doesn’t equal permissive, indulgent, or disengaged parents.
Image credits: throwawaysonsdoor
While it is important to give teens the space that they crave, one should remember that teens are not always ready to deal with adult decisions, responsibility, and the consequences that come with it. They still need guidance and a watchful eye.
In this case, the teenager clearly acted outside the boundaries of trust, refusing to answer his mom’s calls and then proceeding to berate and cuss her out. Control should never be achieved through violence; thus, giving consequences and taking away something that caused the argument to begin with may be the natural order. Whether it be a door or the TV, that’s up for debate.
The desire for more privacy is a natural part of growing up. In fact, privacy is essential for teens to gain autonomy and individuality. As stated on Verywell Family, when teens believe their parents have invaded their privacy, the result is often more conflict at home.
However, if the teen messes up or violates a parent’s trust, allowing them a little less privacy for a period of time is a logical consequence. Ideally, family rules and privacy expectations need to be discussed and put in place before an infraction occurs, says Dr. Angela Lamson. It’s important for teens to understand what the consequences will be if they break the rules.
The online community ruled that the mom was not the jerk in the situation and that the teenager got what was coming to him. However, there were those that disagreed with the mom’s actions, calling them disrespectful, especially when it was her that broke the door in the first place. Let us know your thoughts on this in the comments section below, and I shall see you in the next one!
The majority of the people deemed the mom to be in the right, considering the situation that unfolded, with some even stating the consequences should have been harsher
Others thought that the mom was out of line, her actions being an example of poor parenting. Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!