“I’m Confused By This Mating Ritual”: Men Share 77 Creepy Things Women Have Said To Them

It’s no secret that the trope of creepiness is usually assigned to men. Catcalling on the streets, unsolicited touching at bars, not taking no for an answer—women indeed had their fair share of uncomfortable encounters with the opposite sex. 

However, to be truly equal, we have to admit that women can be scary too. Recently, men proved this by sharing the creepy things ladies have done or said to them. From proudly declaring they’re crazy to showcasing their stalking abilities, scroll down to find the most bizarre stories where women frightened men and not vice versa.

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A woman I dated not only said but also had a fridge magnet with the phrase:

“If I’m not happy, no one else will be.”

I first thought it was a darkly humorous little trinket.

Dear reader, it really, really wasn’t.

Image credits: GreyAndJaded


I don’t get creeped out, because I’m not overly sensitive and not much worries me in general.

That said, the thing that annoys me lately is more about word choice. It seems lately that (mostly women) are using (or misusing) quasi technical terms related to psychological or social issues in order to lend a bit more authority to whatever it is they’re saying.

So instead of “my colleague acted like a douchebag and she left me feeling annoyed” they’ll offer “my colleague is a toxic narcissist and her abuse has left me with trauma”.

On the one hand it’s just a dumb trend, but on the other hand those words actually do have real use for people experiencing actual (diagnosed) psychological issues or abuse, and throwing the terms around devalues the currency of the words for people who might really need them.


A girl once tried to seduce me with the immortal words “I’m as smooth down there as a 4-year-old”. This was almost 20 years ago and to this day I just can’t even.

Image credits: malsomnus


I’ve actually heard a couple women say, “If you can’t take me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”

Thanks for making the red flag so obvious, much appreciated.

Image credits: iamthemosin


Bunch of moms staring at highschool boys swimming and comment on how hot they are. Non stop leering. I can’t imagine how they would have acted if there were dads looking at girls that way.

Image credits: flyingduck33


Using the word “Daddy”, or “Baby”.

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I get that some people like it, but man.. not everyone does.

Image credits: 4th_chakra


Bragging about how proficient they are at stalking people on social media. It’s creepy af.

Image credits: anon


“Can I touch your beard” and proceeding to do so without waiting for an answer. Unless you’re my wife or one of my kid nieces the answer is no by the way.

Image credits: zeekoes


Some lady I worked with once touched my stomach and asked me when I’m due. If the situation would have been reversed, I would have been fired.

Image credits: MontrealInTexas


“I want a gay best friend”

No, I’m not a f*****g accessory.

Image credits: MarsNirgal


When they proudly say they are crazy and want a guy who can handle that.

Yeah, there is nothing okay about being proud of that and they should seriously consider getting help if they legitimately think they are unstable. There is too much liability being affiliated with a woman like this.

Image credits: mrtzjam


I got approached by a woman at my friend’s birthday party. This woman was mid 50’s and I was 40 at the time. She is married with an adult daughter who was there. She approached me and said I was attractive and I thanked her. She proceeded to continue to hit on me and then commented on my pecs and grabbed them. I took a step back and she saw the disgust in my face. She was offended I didn’t want her touching me. She then got loud and made a scene making me look like the a*****e, all I wanted was to hang out with my friends and not be harassed. Women think they can get away with it because all guys want sex, but when they get denied it’s our fault.

Image credits: gkirby23


“You’re well trained” whenever they see me do dishes, vacuum or laundy. Like I‘ve been trained as some manservant or they just expect husbands to be another child.

Image credits: Voltusfive2


When they say “I have no filter.” – this always translates to me, I’m a cow and arrogant. Everyone has a filter, you’re just an a*sehole.


Here’s a tip: Asking a man what he has under his kilt is just as bad as asking a woman if she’s wearing anything under her skirt. Even worse are the women who feel entitled to *check*. Hasn’t happened to me, thankfully, but fellow kilt wearers have had pretty bad encounters before.


Women asking me “ohh what’s under your kilt?” to which I reply “my wifey’s best friend” or “a perch for 8 golden eagles”. it usually ends there.

honestly tho its mostly dudes who ask to which i say: “why is it always men who wanna know” and it usually ends there.

Image credits: GentlemanPirate13


“Don’t throw the condom in the toilet. Don’t worry I won’t go fish it out of the trash hahaha.” I get from a plumbing standpoint why you want it in the trash, but once you add the second part…

Image credits: OnionDart


This is kinda specific to me and those in my situation, but I share the last name of a famous serial killer (VERY distantly related). some women get waaaaay to excited when they find out. The amount of true crime fans who ask me on a date/said yes when I asked because of that has meant I literally have taken it off facebook and don’t tell people at first. Even a few months in Ive gotten ‘haha lol I only dated you cause it would be wild to be Mrs serial killer’. Its creepy, it makes me feel worthless and yes, I know EVERY DETAIL of what he did, because of course I do everyone sends me the link anytime there is a new doco out. Please don’t add my last name to your FB just cause we are dating. No I wont f**k you while we watch a doco on him. Special shout out to women in psych 101.

Image credits: JackDaBoneMan


When I was an Uber driver, I’d sometimes get a car full of girls say something like “You’re not gonna k*ll us, are you?”. I started replying with “Nah. When you’re as good at it as I am – you don’t do it for free.”

Image credits: PlatasaurusOG


I have large hands ring finger size is 16 and I had a lady tell me once that I had sausage fingers and that she wanted to sit on them.

Image credits: GSXR-1ooo


My arms are heavily tattooed. Women will often say, “can I see your tattoos?” and then immediately start touching them. I have some pretty obvious self-harm scars on my forearms, so it’s super embarrassing and always makes me really uncomfortable. I know I have my own blame in the situation, but yeah— not a fan.

Image credits: PermaBanTogether


I don’t know about “women” but I had a female manager interviewing me for a job telling me they were PRO sexual harassment at the workplace, wink wink, nudge nudge. I was…22? She was 50, easily.

That f*****g sucked.

Image credits: ThingCalledLight


I’m bald, and was the only man who worked a front facing position at a local clinic in a town with an aging population. The older/elderly women constantly wanted to rub my head, or be very inappropriate in general when speaking to me. The women in the office laughed about it until I pointed out how I would always step in and cover for them or drive off the creepy guys for them, and this was no different. Don’t get me wrong, the creepy men said and did far worse things to those women than the old women ever did/said to me, but they still made me uncomfortable. Last year or so I was there they started helping me hide from the worst of the harassment. That was nice.


“Can you still get it up” like f**k you! This is the equivalent of a man asking a woman if she is tight or still gets wet.


Is it true what they say about Mexican d**k?

Thay we don’t give it to ugly bitches? Sure is. Sorry.


If only I were 20 years younger…


I got this all the time when I worked food service at a hospital. It was really creepy when it was said in an elevator that was notorious for getting stuck for long periods of time.

Image credits: PoeJam


Talking about how a young or infant boy is gonna be sexy or a ladies man. Like you seriously sound like a creep and I’m being polite by using creep. Once while waiting tables, another server wrapped her arms around my neck, stared into my eyes, and said, “is it bad that I want to f**k someone besides my boyfriend?” Like what in every hell.

Image credits: Ksammy33


Was in a bar. A girl comes up to me and asks if she could feel the size of my penis; I’m pretty tall so I get it a lot.

What confuses me to this day is that it was in front of her boyfriend.

Image credits: Abysskitten


I worked in an elementary school for many years and the amount of female teachers who openly talk about how “cute” the boys are or how they will be “total heartbreakers” was foul.

Image credits: Gymteacher88


“You should smile more” followed by a touch, wink or giggle. Yes females do that s**t too and yes it’s just as creepy.


Had a girl at a bar tap me on the shoulder and say, “I love black guys, do you like white girls?” while grabbing my stomach before, so that was kinda creepy.

Image credits: Gmensah4646


“I’m on birth control, we don’t need to use condoms.”

Image credits: AdLife8436


Anything done in baby talk.


I’ve had women in the workplace (I was 21, they were 23-33) very openly speculate about my sex life in front of me or comment about my (visible and clothed, or hypothesized) anatomy. I’m comfortable with my body because it does look good and I’m very nicely endowed, what I’m really not comfortable with is people I’m not f*****g trying to discuss it with me or other people especially while I’m in the room.

That was the first time I was sexually harassed in the workplace. The second time was when I was working at a summer camp. I usually took my hour long break in my on-site dorm room because it was a 3 minute walk, I could sit on my bed and listen to a podcast, get some nicotine in my system, and walk back refreshed. Woman who was my supervisor was randomly showering around noonish (very, very weird for her, I hadn’t bumped into her or anyone else there ever before during the day, and she was on the wrong floor for the women’s showers). Saw her walking around the corner in a towel and to be polite and let there not be any room for misunderstanding, I covered my eyes completely and averted my head toward the ceiling. As I walked past her she kept telling me to “take a look” and taunting with “I know you want to”, and as much as I said “No thanks, I’m good!”, she kept pushing the issue and I finally let out a “I’m REALLY, REALLY not interested in looking at you” and made a bee-line back to my room to attempt to enjoy the remaining part of my break. I reported it to her supervisor and his supervisor, and essentially nothing happened but she repeatedly spent that summer and the following summer trying to retaliate against me. I loved that job but never worked there again and never will because they let her stay on payroll.

I’ve had similar things happen outside the workplace. I’m happily married, I don’t watch porn, never have watched porn, I’ve got a healthy sex drive that I laser focus onto the love of my life. The insistence (often communicated in an angry and accusatory way) that I’m simultaneously, just because I’m a man, some kind of endlessly horny animal (and if I’m not I’m somehow lesser of a man or sexual being) f*****g sucks. I love looking at, loving, and f*****g my sexy wife, it’s not that weird.


As a boy who looked 19 at the age of 14, the number of women who have casually laughed off hitting on me and turned it into “come see me when you turn 18” (again while I’m 14) is a bit much.


Having a co-worker run her hands through my hair and say “Don’t forget me”.

Yes, this actually happened.


Happy wife, happy life. No b***h it’s not only about you.

Image credits: Agreeable_Station451


My aunt kissed me on the lips when I was a teenager. I said no. She didn’t care I hated it then. I still hate it now.


To “man up” when all you’re trying to do is chill.

Image credits: Ivor_the_1st


Married now but when dating I had a few women ask if I was a grower or a show-er. It just kinda seemed weird to ask over dinner on a date. While I was flirty back, it’s not like I’m gonna respond and say “hey what color are you tits are they more pink or brown?”

Image credits: CherryManhattan


Random women grabbing my bicep and feeling it in an obvious “I am appraising you like a slave on the auction block” way.

Usually this happens in a bar when the woman has had a drink or two, she say “hi there, me and my friend were just blah blah blah, and I said ooh, blah blah blah” … grabs bicep and feels it.

Lady. I’m not interested. Go away.


Not that all women are like this, but I’m concerned for the women that talk about the healing powers of crystals bought from Esty.

Image credits: Nonnative284


“I googled you”

Image credits: frenchie1984_1984


Ooo can I touch you abs, who tf are u random lady?


I had a woman talk about us getting married after the first time we had s*x. We hadn’t even been on an official date yet. I would’ve bolted out of there, but it was my house. I told her that I had to work early in the morning, but she didn’t get the hint. She was intent on spending the night. To make matters worse, the s*x was TERRIBLE.

Image credits: Extreme_Today_984


My wife saying she has this fantasy of her and our daughter tricking wealthy men into some sort of marriage scam and getting a bunch of money.


I’ve had dates with two women recently that talked about “witches” and how their friends are “witches”. One told me she was writing a book about a group of feral women who kidnap naive men. I asked one “can a dude be a witch” lol But yeah. More I think about it- f*****g weird and creepy.

Image credits: 1CrudeDude


It’s not a general thing, but its definitely the weirdest thing a woman has said to me. I was 17 and working the metal detectors at a concert venue. It was a country concert and we were told to pat down any cowboy boots (we only did body patdowns as a last resort to finding something). A lady was coming through with her friends, only she had boots on. I told her I had to check the boots, just pressing down on either side of the leg part to check for flasks. She said “aw, how many pretty girls have you tried this on?” While laughing with her friends. She was easily as old as my mother.

Image credits: Zenkko


When I was really young and working in a coffee shop, a flirty older lady said “you look exotic,” to me.

Naive and impressionable me thought it was somehow remotely appropriate to use this line on another cute customer and she did not smile when I said it.

Image credits: regnarbensin_


Tell me about the love life of celebs they’ve never met.


“You make my ovaries flip!” Like hey I’m flattered but also that feels weird af


“I hate men” (casually/when they’re venting).

Image credits: Ok-Specialist-4777


At work a candy striper who I knew had a crush on me(that I knew was super religious) came up to me without any prompt and in a monotone voice with to much eye contact stated, “I just turned 18 I’m legal now”. F*****g creepy as s**t.


I had a girl tell me to guess how many people she slept with. I refused, and after she insisted, I relented and guessed 15. She said “Higher” and made me keep guessing after refusing a second time. After 2 more wr0ng guesses, she eventually told me she slept with 45 men (60 people total, including the women). I had no interest in those details about her sexual history, and forcing me to participate in a guessing game about her kill count was a real turn-off.

I certainly hope my experience is the outlier, but I doubt I’m the first to have had this happen.


I had a girl come up to me at a bar, stand in front of me, take off my hat and put it on her head. I just looked at her confused, then she like rolled her eyes, put it back on my head and f****d off. Like, sorry, I’m confused by this mating ritual.


I was bartending and there was a hen party who’s challenge in their game was to kiss the bartender. I said ok as long as it was on the cheek and turn my head, but she woman grabbed my face and tried to kiss me on the lips.

Had to walk away and tell them I wouldn’t be serving them and all they could say was “aww come on don’t be frigid, you know you want to”


Asking to see my phone.


I could stab you when you’re asleep.


Not necessarily creepy, but my girlfriend sometimes belittles men like its nothing. Typically she just blurts it out when we are visiting my family, its so embarrasing and makes me feel bad. Like hello, you are living with a straight white meat eating male, how can you say stuff like that? Its not often enough that i’d feel justified to start an argument about it, so I usually just ignore it since i dont know how to approach the subject. But every time it happens i just kinda shut down and start to doubt our relationship


It’s weird… Young girls that are attractive and get attention all the time are all “guys are super creepy!!! They say such cringe things”

20 years later when no one cares to check them out in the gym they just pull out the creepy guy play book and start laying it on hard…

Women in their 50 have said things to me I would NEVER subject another human being to hearing… And I’ve had my fair share of cringy comments slip out of my mouth…

Have legitimately had a bartender tell me “I’d take my teeth out for you ?”


Me and a date making out in a dark parking lot at night. Girl – starts laughing Me – what’s funny? Girl – It’s just that, if I were to call the police and tell them you sexually assaulted me right now, there’s not much you can do to prove you’re innocent. I’m a cute, white, tiny German girl, and you are a big, mean looking, medium dark skinned American man. You’d be screwed. Me – huh, yeah… Guess you’re right.


Not something said, but when I worked at a cafe for a bit, the accountant for the cafe pat me on the a*s and called me cutie. None of the owners saw, but customers and co workers saw.

When I talked to the owners, the accountant was told to apologize and instead she said it was meant to be endearing and tbh how quickly it was let slide was 100% disturbing


A friend was talking about how she was going to get me really, really drunk… and left it at that.


I remember once at the gym, after I finished my chest workout, some lady just poked my chest and said “damn those are hard. Keep up the hard work. ” and just walked away before I could comprehend.

I was talking to my friend who was a trainer, and he looked at me confused and was like “bro who was that?” And I just said I dunno man.

Imagine if after a girl was done doing her squats and I poked her a*s cheek and said, “That booty is getting hard. Keep up the good work.” I’d get f*****g jumped


I have a couple female friends who think it’s ok to slap my a*s (mostly it has happened when they’re drunk). They think it’s funny. Like no, imagine if the roles were reversed.


I came back just to see you or I watch you sometimes walking to work.


When they and/or their friends threaten “if you hurt her, you better watch out” or whatever. It’s honestly annoying and imagine if my buddies told you, “if you do anything we don’t like, we’re gonna jump you”, we’d get thrown in a damn cell.

Also it’s pretty demeaning and annoying.


Talking about a man’s butt.

I’ve had family members, colleagues, and random people comment on my a*s out in the open in ways that made me so uncomfortable and would never be okay if the roles were reversed.


As a guy with long blonde hair, a skinny physique, and no facial hair that…

“I’d make a cute twink/femboy”

F**k off. I’m 29 with an established career and a girl I’m dating. Keep your weird a*s comments to yourself. I already know how I look, I can’t change it, but don’t insert me into one of your fantasies.


“I’m not on birth control, but it’s okay, I have a standing appointment at the clinic”

I actually heard this once. Word for word. ?‍♂️


When they claim they can f**k any man they want, usually in front of your SO.

I have had multiple cougars start a conversation with me by saying “hey cutie, I would like to break off a piece of you.”


“I don’t have time to train a man”. Imagine if a man said that about a woman.


A lot of women don’t believe they are capable of committing assault and so do things that would definitely be considered r*pe if a man did it. I’ve had women refuse to leave my apartment unless I sleep with them. I’ve been bullied and made fun of for not wanting s*x. I’ve been groped. It really sucks. Edit: I’ve also been body shamed a lot just for being uncircumcised. One time I was hooking up with a girl in college and when I took my pants off she said “what the f**k is wrong with your d**k” with a tone you would expect for someone with active breakouts of genital warts, herpes, and syphilis sores all at the same time, like absolute disgust and horror. I was/am completely std free tho, she had just never once in her life seen a natural d**k before. Needless to say I kicked her the f**k out after that. On the flip side I’ve also been fetishized and objectified a lot because I’m taller, muscular, well endowed, have a weirdly big round a*s for a guy, etc etc. Which while often flattering if im in the mood for it and enjoying the attention. Can also be really dehumanizing and degrading depending on the context.


Astrology, superstition nonsense. Kinda gender neutral as I would think less of anyone who indulges in superstition. Though, IME, this is far more common among women.

I have never met a man who discussed or believed in astrology or burned sage to purge bad vibes, etc.


When they talk about our bodies, not all of us are into that.


Had a coworker lean in once and tell me I smelled good. I appreciated the compliment, but might not be the best thing to do with others.


When they joke about cutting your parts off if you cheat or make violent sexual remarks. And their friends join in “if she doesn’t I will. Better watch out” and things of that nature.

I want you to imagine a man telling his partner “if you cheat on me, I’ll cut your br***ts off” and then his friends saying “I’ll do it before you if she ever hurts you. It doesn’t suddenly become cute and okay when it’s women doing it. Also, having worked with women for years in multiple jobs, I confidently can say the AVERAGE female locker room talk is far more descriptive, personal, and invasive than ive heard from men.

Size, shape, technique, duration, insecurities, pillow talk. The amount of details I’ve heard about men I’ll never meet just though hearing passing comments is absurd. There is ZERO sense of privacy with some women. With guys AT MOST I hear if it was good and if he thinks she came. Women straight up be creeping sometimes with it.

Also women’s restrooms…nightmare fuel. Red and brown stains on the walls with zero attempt to hit the toilet bowl. Tampons just on the ground, some weird mucus on the seat. Made me sick.


Usually not what they say, but what they do. Getting handsy/groping strangers and trying to sit on men’s laps in bars/casinos. Also, reading smut in public. Fine if you enjoy that in privacy, but really gross to do that in public. In terms of what they say, gossiping about their partner’s sexual prowess. That’s really gross and creepy.
Source: boredpanda.com

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