The things you talk to your children about are the things they will come to think of as important. But the current thinking on what’s important keeps changing. We were told at one time that we should compliment our kids to build up their confidence. But then we realized that concentrating on how pretty a girl is tends to reinforce the importance of looks, which can set a little girl up for a lifetime of grief, when she compares herself to others. So we compliment her intelligence, hoping she will come to value thinking skills over appearance. But then we learned that telling a child they are smart can lead to assumptions of their intelligence at the expense of effort and ambition. Now we are trying to reward work and perseverance, which can lead to lifelong success in whatever direction they take. Raising kids is hard. At least Chris is taking a step up from focusing on looks. This is the latest from Lunarbaboon.