Romantic relationships reveal a lot. Spending each day with a soulmate by your side and opening your heart to them is one of the greatest joys in life, and it also gives valuable lessons about who you are as a human being. But creating a healthy connection involves a mutual give-and-take between partners. So if love floating in the air has led you to discover some weird quirks about yourself, chances are that you learned a great deal about your significant other too.
A question on Reddit recently posted by user Foolu is an excellent example of that. They decided to reach out to the Ask Reddit community and invite men to open up about what things they learned about women only after getting into a relationship. And boy, did they deliver!
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We at Bored Panda went through the responses and handpicked some of the most interesting and relatable ones. So continue scrolling to read about the eureka moments from men and hit upvote on your favorite ones! If you’re in the mood for even more things guys learned about their partners only later in life, check out our earlier pieces about it here and right here.
Until I actually lived with my partner it was hard to comprehend just how often a period comes, how long it lasts, and how much it can affect your day to day.
What a pain in the a*s. I do not envy the ladies.
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That they are very capable of solving their emotional problems themselves. Sometimes they just need someone who listens to their story without them saying whats right or wrong.
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A good hug when “nothing” is wrong works wonders.
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Honestly? How much unnecessary guilt women carry around with them over everything.
First girlfriend I had (18 at the time) everytime I did something nice would either apologize or promise some kind of sexual reward. At first it seemed hot but after a few times in a row I just told her I wasn’t doing nice things for a reward but because I cared about her. Made her cry and we talked it out afterwards but yeah after that (and just other things I talked to my female friends about) my eyes were opened to how invalid women seem to feel.
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• I’m more in tune with feelings and emotions now
• The amount of times women feel uncomfortable by men in day to day situations
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The statement “just do what you want” no matter the tone, means you f**ked up.
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That my hoodies are actually her hoodies.
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That relationships take a f**k ton of work and commitment.
Before I got into one, I thought love and passion was all that was needed.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
A real relationship takes so much practical work.
Love, passion, dedication, and trust are the foundations, yes.
However, there are so many more practical considerations on top of that.
Some prominent examples:- Attachment styles.- Finances.- Distance.- Emotional bandwidth.- Maturity level.- Sacrifice.- Commitment.- Discomfort and confrontation.- Learning how to argue and disagree healthily.- Concerns about intimacy and sex.- Power dynamics.- Place in life and relative experiences, sexual and otherwise.
The list goes on.
Relationships are a LOT of f**king work and as I learned the hard way, you could love someone more than life itself and be willing to die for them and think they are your one true soul mate AND THEY CAN FEEL THE SAME EXACT WAY but if these other things aren’t in place, then it will NOT work and you will experience the most soul crushing and excruciating heartbreak of your entire existence.
That birth control messes with their hormones a lot.
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What might be a really small thing for me to give her (a gesture, compliment, smile, etc.) can mean a whole lot to her.
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That periods are a f**king nightmare that we should be grateful we never have to experience, and sympathetic to those who have to suffer them regularly: light or heavy they’re a frigging beast to deal with while living a normal day to day life.
The amount of hair they shed is unreal… Not sure how they still have a full body of hair on their head after a week.
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That the difference between men and women is surprisingly small
Their favorite bra doesn’t get washed much.
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Periods suck. Bras suck. Shaving suck. Women don’t get enough pockets on their clothing. And they appreciate compliments A LOT on things they may be insecure about. (Like stretch marks or thighs)
They don’t…stop..thinking… at all. I can be sat on the sofa staring at the wall and my mind is a void… occasionally a though may float past, like a discarded crisp packet in the breeze.. then.. back to silence.
Whereas every woman I’ve been with seems to have a brain like an 80’s stock exchange… thats on fire… and full of angry murder hornets…. so much activity.
You have to teach someone how to be a good lover to you.
People don’t magically know how to meet your needs. And they certainly can’t read your mind.
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My first relationship I always wondered why my girlfriend would rant at me about things like horrible coworkers, stress dealing with projects etc. and then get mad at me when I tried to talk through the problems, break them down and help come up with workable solutions. My second relationship I realised when women do this, they just want to rant and have a hug at the end. They don’t want your advice, they don’t want a calm, rational discussion about what they can do to make a situation better. Don’t pour kerosene on that fire, just let it burn out.
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Actually the most valuable thing I’ve learnt is be honest. If I’m going to the pub and know I’ll be back late, just be straight up and tell it like it is. Most girls like honesty (seems fairly obvious doesn’t it). The relationship I’m in now has been by far the best because I don’t try to play games which has got me into trouble in the past. Honesty and transparency. It’s the key.
They tell you to put the seat down on the toilet because they legit fall in if they don’t notice.
I’m female, but my male partner had no idea that women can’t ‘hold in’ our periods like we hold in pee.
I found this out when he was telling me about a girl in 6th grade who got her period in class, and he couldn’t believe how she just ‘let it all out all over’ (as if she peed in her pants but it was period blood).
I had to explain to him how it works. But I guess, how would he have known? I never thought about it.
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They shower with lava. At least thats what the water temperature felt like.
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That they don’t wear matching underwear all the time. Genuinely thought the bra and panties were always a set. I blame the Sears catalogue.
Period panties. That special pair that only come out once a month and look like someone wiped up acid with them. Woman’s bodies are amazing, fun, and terrifying in different times and situations.
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You don’t have enough hangers.
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They appreciate the gifts you’ve made, even if they’re not good, just the fact that you put effort into making them something
Snuggles are godlike. Clean and organize EVERYTHING. It’s good for your mental health and it gets you respect. This should be first but: “respect others as you wish to be respected”. Bodily autonomy and general “stuff that bodies do” is outside of everyone’s control, let’s all try to manage as we can and let others know if anything is weird. Talk, try, compromise. For the love of all that is holy: trade. I hate doing laundry, but I love cooking and doing dishes. She hates cooking and dishes and anything mucus related. We traded. I cook, I do dishes, I kill the mice, and I clean / take over all doggo snot stuff. She does the laundry and yells if I attempt to touch laundry to help fold. Point is, be dynamic / adaptive: find the difference, what do you want, what do they want. After that, figure out separate hobbies, you can’t be together forever isolated. Do separate hobbies, have separate friends, have faith in each other, enjoy your time together, and make boundaries serious. After that, it’s all you.
They are more insecure than they let on and we should do our best to not abuse or use those insecurities against them especially in arguments
I learned the most after living with a girl. I started to notice dust and tiny things that just went under my radar. I started taking better care of my skin and teeth after seeing their routine. I appreciated better kitchen appliances. Mostly their ability to turn a living space into something warm and welcoming. A woman’s touch is really something special.
You get through 4 times as much bathroom tissue.
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That they have their own libido. As a teenage male, it didn’t occur to me. Yeah, I was a dumba*s. There was always so much talk about boys going through changes and having urges, that it truly never occurred to me that girls felt the same.
Make up is expensive as f*ck.
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An issue/argument is not a win lose situation everytime. Take time to compromise and learn from each other instead.
I learned that girls find you attractive mostly for what you do and how you do it, rather than how you look. Guys are more visual in that sense. I’ve been with girls during periods when I thought I looked like s**t but I still managed, somehow, to be attractive in their eyes just from the way I treated others and the way I made them laugh.
Finding a doctor who won’t assume they’re either on their period or that it’s “all in their head” is insanely hard. It’s difficult to understand if every trip to the doctor has been normal and helpful as a dude.
They are way grosser than any of my guy friends. They just hide it in public better.
They hate bras. That thing came flying as soon as the door closed behind her.
She is more accepting and understanding of my actions than I ever imagined possible. When I feel the need to justify she knew. When I felt unsure she encouraged, more! She more completely captures me, better than a selfie. She is a mirror more honest than my reflection. The brighter I beacon the better she shines making me better to be closer. I married her so results may vary.
If you can tell something is wrong and you ask them “Is something wrong? Let’s talk about it.” And they say “No”, that doesn’t mean nothing is wrong and they don’t want to talk. A lot of the time they just need time to process. Let it breathe, give some space, and let them bring it up later instead of being pushy.
My french fries are her french fries.
Don’t be fooled by her constantly forgetting where her keys and phone and stuff are, she’ll definitely remember what you said word-for-word October 3 2017 at 6:14PM.
They fart just as much as guys do.
When they wanna find something. THEY FIND IT
With my first serious girlfriend after college, I learned that I could have a relationship with open and honest communication, owning our emotional reactions, not being manipulative, and putting ourselves in our partner’s shoes.
In my next relationship, I learned that not every partner will do that.
It really prepared me for meeting my now-wife, because I could expect that and communicate that expectation to her early on, which laid the foundation for a healthy and communicative relationship.
Sometimes you need to leave, like go outside and far away, so they can poop.
They are always cold to the touch, and try to steal your warmth at every opportunity.
Never throw away Tupperware
The slightest level of hunger can change your whole day.
Period personalities can be wild.
They remember dates… First date…first kiss.. the date we meet … we have been married 23 years and I still get the do you know what day this is?… I have a bunch for that s**t in my phone now.
When my wife moved in with me, 6 months into our relationship, I learned almost immediately that women, or at the very least my wife, are just like men but with their priorities slightly differently aligned. Like we all do the same exact things, just with slightly different approaches and executions, blew my freaking mind. This was also like 12 years ago, so what do I know.
Her hair somehow always ends up in between my butt crack. HOW?!
Tampons and pads aren’t the same thing.
I always thought girls went out of their way not to fart in front of anyone….my wife quickly proved me wrong.
Bobby pins are magical items that will materialize out of thin air.
Girls really emphasize planning ahead and sorting things out ahead of time. I didn’t realize this was such a big issue but it is, they break up with you for that s**t lol.
I learned to buy big economy packs of toilet paper. And that period poops smell worse than my farts.
Oh, and one more thing but this was probably this one girl: Period hormones are real. I vividly remember this happening with my last ex while she was on her period. She went from happy, to sad, to accusing me of cheating on her with 6 different b**ches (hah, as if. I barely secured a relationship with her), to cuddly, to “Don’t touch me, you f**king son of a b**ch!”, to “You don’t love me anymore”.
This was in the span of an hour! I wish I was kidding.
Daily sunscreen, lotion your whole body in the morning
They like stuff. Non descript, non useful, stuff. Knick knacks, plates, water bottles, stickers, soaps and lotions. I like a more minimal and clean living space while the women who have moved in with me seem to believe that if there is a surface, stuff needs to be on it.
That morning routine ain’t no joke
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True connection is truly rare, when that happens even each other’s odor is pleasant
If your girl has a big butt you have to fasten the screws on your toilet seat all the time.
Women leave their hair on shower walls. Women clean up their hair by swirling their hair on the wall.
my boyfriend didn’t know girls wiped after peeing. he was 20 at the time of revealing this
She can snore like a freight train
Biting. Why do they bite us
There is one room that has very very strict protocols about its use usually kitchen, bathroom or bedroom have been my experience.