My Time to Sch-wine

With the unsettled economy and fears of inflation, consumer spending on stuff such as woodworking tools and books has been flat, and we’ve had one of the shortest holiday selling seasons since we launched Lost Art Press in 2007.

At the urging of our social media manager, we hired a freelance “brand consultant” to help us find areas of the business that we hadn’t yet monetized. After a few weeks of work he presented us with a report, and we thought we’d share some of his recommendations. 

Listen beautiful relax classics on our Youtube channel.

First and foremost, Lost Art Press isn’t taking enough advantage of my good name, Christopher Schwarz. After analyzing my Q Score vs. those of other woodworking celebrities, he recommended we make some adjustments to our product lineup and how we relate to our customers. Plus, appending my name to many of the things we make and write and say to each other in our videos will help expand our customer base into the subset of people who know my name but not necessarily Lost Art Press.

This, according to the report, could be handled in a fun way by taking advantage of the “sch” at the beginning of my surname.

So when we reprint the following books, we should alter their titles slightly:

“The Schtick Chair Book”

“Scharpen This”

“The Anarchist’s Schtool Chest.” My response to that was, “Have you said that one out loud?”

“Schaker Inspirations.” To which I said, “But I didn’t write that book!” His response: “Oh Chris Becksvoort, Chris Schwarz – close enough.”

“Schlöjd in Wood.” Nope… just nope.

Some slight changes to names of the Crucible tools could also reinforce this brand knowledge of the “sch.”

Crucible Sch-raper

Crucible Sch-lump Hammer


Change our “Super woobie” product to “Sch-oil in a Rag” that will “Make your tools Sch-iney.”

And our forthcoming glue heater should be named the “Schticky Pot.”

Finally, we needed to incorporate the “sch” into our craft language, both in the blog and our videos. So…

When I cut a piece of wood, I need to say it’s “Too Schwort” or “Too Schlong.”

Or when a board is the correct length – or a joint goes together well – it’s, “Schrite on!”

When I agree with something, I should say, “Yes, that’s Schit!”

Listen beautiful relax classics on our Youtube channel.

When I prove a point, “You’ve Been Sch-ooled!”

Also, the report said I needed a “catchphrase” to end all my articles and videos. Like Tommy Mac’s “Who’s better than me?” or Glen Huey’s “Make something great!”

The report had a lot of good recommendations, but my favorite was: “Make your furniture a work of Sch-art.”

— Christopher Schwarz


No votes yet.
Please wait...