Shakespeare's <i>Seinfeld</i>

The iconic sitcom Seinfeld is often described as a “show about nothing”, or to, borrow a play title from William Shakespeare, Much Ado about Nothing. It is fitting to let the Bard of Avon have a go at screenwriting for this comedy program. At McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, Michael Leonetti and Nick DiMaso rewrite scenes from Shakespeare plays as though they were Seinfeld episodes. Here’s a passage from Romeo and Juliet in which Romeo and Mercutio attempt to make a purchase from the Soup Nazi:

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Romeo and Mercutio wait in line in a Verona alley.

ROMEO: Now, Mercutio, remember what I said: he’s very peculiar about his wares.

MERCUTIO: I’m aware. He’s wary of selling his wares.


Romeo and Mercutio enter the Apothecary’s store. Mercutio steps up to the counter.

MERCUTIO: Medium coma-potion.

Mercutio pays the assistant but notices his order is missing something.

MERCUTIO: Uh, excuse me… but where is the dram of poison?

ROMEO: Leave it, Mercutio.

APOTHECARY: You want such mortal drugs, little man?

MERCUTIO: I would very much like it, please.


MERCUTIO: One hundred ducats? For a dram?


Read it all for selections from Hamlet, the Merchant of Venice, Pericles, Prince of Tyre, and the Scottish Play.

-via Debby Witt

Source: neatorama

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