Household chores is one of those things probably none of us like to do. When living with other people, sharing cleaning duties can be tricky. That complexity can become more complicated between a man and a wife in heterosexual relationships, where gender norms and childhood role models come into play.
Lauren Danger, better known on TikTok as thatdarnchat, shared her reaction to a video posted by another couple. In it, a husband films his wife doing laundry just seven days after she gave birth to their child. Lauren reacted to the video talking about how most women in relationships take on the mental load, and how important it is to discuss division of labor in the household.
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A video in which a wife does laundry 7 days after giving birth has gone viral
Image credits: @thatdarnchat
“Can you believe she had a baby seven days ago? Oh my God, you look great.”
“Can you believe I’m the one who had a baby seven days ago and I’m the one that’s doing the laundry?”
“You look like s**t. I take it back.”
In the comment section, everyone’s like, let her rest and she’s like, “No, I felt good. I just wanted to get up and get some things done.” I’m not saying this is the case here. But it’s a really good example of why taking full responsibility for a task is really important.
While she was resting, she was thinking about what things needed to get done, which is why she got up and started doing them in the first place.
Lauren Danger, a life coach and educator, shared her opinion on the situation and talked about how women in cishet relationships tend to carry more of the mental load
Image credits: @thatdarnchat
Whether she was responsible for the laundry getting done, or the division of labor was not clear in the household. And when the division of labor is not clear in a household, it’s on someone’s mental load.
In many cishet households, women are carrying more of the mental load. But that means that they are anticipating what needs to be done. They’re using their mental space to navigate and engineer what needs to be done in what order in order for things to not fall apart.
Which means that sitting idly by can cause more stress than just getting up and doing it.
She explained that getting up and cleaning might feel better even when you’re feeling under the weather – it’s better than sitting and knowing nothing’s getting done
Image credits: @thatdarnchat
And so yes, sometimes even when someone’s sick, or recovering from giving birth, getting up and doing things can feel better than sitting on the couch. How do you care for someone who is recovering from a birth? You anticipate your family’s needs and you take full responsibility of getting it done.
Supporting your partner who just gave birth is not just saying “I’ll get things done, tell me what you need help with around the house.” It’s taking full responsibility.
Ahead of the birth you can learn how to get things done, you can practice getting multiple things done, and doing the mental load for yourself. Supporting your partner in their healing means being reliable and navigating the mental load so that they can truly rest.
She said she was fine. I’m gonna believe that she was fine, but there’s a better way.
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Lauren’s video went viral and racked up nearly 7 million views
@thatdarnchatIm curious what you all think about that commentary from the camera person. ?♬ original sound – Laura Danger
Some people got mad at the husband and saw his comments behind the camera as a red flag
Others in the comments didn’t see the big deal – the woman wasn’t forced and in this day and age, laundry isn’t a strenuous activity
The post “She Needs Rest”: People Get Mad At Man For Not Helping His Wife Do The Laundry Week After Birth first appeared on Bored Panda.
Source: boredpanda.com