Everyone has their own definition of masculinity. And that’s the beauty of it. If you’re not harming anyone, there are a million ways in which you can be a man and make the world around you a better place.
But every stick has two ends. Every once in a while, someone comes along and tries to project their own vision of a man. What his virtues should and should not be.
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Some time ago, Reddit user Possibly Degenerate submitted a question to the platform, asking: “What are the things every man should at least try even though they are stigmatized as ‘gay’ or ‘unmanly?’“
As of this article, there are nearly 25,000 comments under the post, reminding us that society is still pretty messed up when it comes to masculinity and homosexuality. However, it also shows that we’re growing increasingly aware of it.
Telling your male friends you love them. Just at the end of highschool my group had several deaths occur. Car accident, cancer, suicide and a couple murders. Now in my current group we say love you after most conversation. Some people think it wierd but f**k em. People aren’t around forever. Better to let them know how you feel while you can.
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Being verbally and physically affectionate (if you’re comfortable with contact in general) with your boys.
I tell my boys I love them. I hug my boys. I kiss my boys before a night of wrestling and howling at the moon. Aragorn kissed Boromir. You gonna tell me Aragorn was unmanly? Good luck saving Gondor without your boys, coward.
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Crying. Just let it out, guys. You can do it! Don’t apologize for it or hide it either.
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Moisturising. Take care of your skin boys.
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Quality hugs for your bros. Don’t do the ol’ shoulders touch and pat on the back. Grab your friend and give them a hug!
Image credits: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/hbyee3/comment/fvcd0yr/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
When my husband and I first started dating I turned him on to the magic of baths. We did face mask and bath bombs(which he really thought would explode) and bath salt(which he was worried would make him a zombie). Now he drags me into lush and ask if after our date nights if we can take a bath. I keep talking about “when we buy a house…” and he follows up with it needs a nice tub
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Also seeing a therapist. That s**t is fire.
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Going to the spa. D**k or no d**k, we all deserve to be pampered every once in awhile.
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Y’all are not ready to hear this but: prostate orgasms. Get one of those toys made for that.
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Being the little spoon.
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Cooking, f**king hell don’t rely on others for something you need everyday. Deliveries and take aways are expensive, and it’s really really satisfying when you whip up something and it’s delicious. Eating noodles and microwave meals all the time isn’t really that much better too. You can make a pretty good pasta for like $1-3 or so per portion.
And to those men who say “I’d just marry someone who cooks”, yeah right what if the “one” doesn’t know how to cook?
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Diffusing a situation without threatening violence. Learn how to argue with logic and how to argue one point at a time without getting overly emotional. And if it comes down to it, and you have to fight someone, you at least tried not to take it to that level. And if you go down, go down swingin and you’ll still be the winner.
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Yo since quarantine I’ve been:
Doing face masks
Using a tinted sunscreen
Using a cerave face wash
Using actual shampoo and conditioner (not the combo garbage) and a leave in
I’ve literally never felt better about my appearance. I’m sure I look the same, but just doing something makes me feel like I’m in control and am helping
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Shaving your legs until they’re smooth as glass, and then snuggling down under a soft, fluffy blanket. It’s like you’re sleeping in butter and it is a feeling everyone should experience in life.
Until the hairs start to come back.
Image credits: Cryptid-Fluff
My husband paints my nails and helps me do my hair. I have a condition that makes those little jobs monumentally difficult. When we start dating as teens he took a make up course in school to help me do my make up, and pick complimentary colours. He was a metal head teenager in a make up course and I think it’s the most manly thing anyone’s ever done.
Anything I do is manly, because I’m a man and I’m doing it.
Crying over an emotional situation. Man card punched.
Having tea with my daughter. Man card punched.
Daddy dance time with the kids. Man card punched.
A “spa day” with a straight razor shave, mani/pedi and towel treatment. Man card punched.
Wearing purple or pink, (the colors of Royalty and Pussy!). Man card punched.
Having my prostate stimulated for the best orgasm of my life. Man card punched.
If you’re not insecure, you don’t miss out on experiences because of labels.
Try sewing. I’m the seamstress (seammaster?) for my family. Fixing clothing and making curtains etc can be just as useful as fixing a car, and comes in handy more frequently!
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I don’t understand why is so gendered. Why ads focus on ‘you can put this black/navy skincare product and still be manly ‘
It’s skin, is an important human organ, and actually not that different in needs from man/woman.
Everyone NEEDS to wash your face properly and to protect it from dehydration and sun damage.
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Nice underwear. Underwear with a built in pouch are super comfortable while supporting your genitals. Also the sexier cuts with less fabric are so much cooler than wearing shorts under pants, the case with boxers. I’m a big dude working in manufacturing and I know you wouldn’t expect me to be wearing a thong most days.
I pee sitting down. It’s way better. Fight me.
Gardening. There are so many types and so many uses.
Vegetable gardening (the obvious) saves on money and is great to do with kids. Also gives an excuse for wood/metalworking on raised beds, trellises, etc. You can garden in an apartment with relatively inexpensive aquaponics, also.
Cut flower gardening. Fresh bouquet every day really livens up a house. Buy Zinnia seeds. Ipomoea pandurata, Rudbeckia sp., Echinacea sp. alone will give you plenty of blooms from late May to August, at least. That’s probably a $30 investment from Lowe’s.
Native plant/butterfly gardening. If you want to help the environment, it’s significantly more effective than avoiding plastic straws.
Plant trees. Fruit trees, showy trees, whatever. Incredible investment (in inner city, high end neighborhoods, a mature oak or magnolia can increase property values by %20, and acorns are free, so you’re looking at a huge return in 50 years). Also fantastic for the environment. Try to plant native trees as they tend to be pest resistant and zero maintenance.
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Skirts. They‘re comfortable and should absolutely make their way into male fashion. Kilts are great, just think of what we‘re missing out on.
Can’t believe nobody mentioned this but broadway musicals, plays, and show tunes in general. They rock.
I can do without the sex suggestions but you all be you.
Thinking, talking about and understanding your emotions.
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I turned my husband onto yoga pants and leggings 🙂 he loves them. He said something along the lines of “i definitely thought my balls would not have any room. But these are amazing!”
Mani and pedicures. The women in there are (usually) really nice and it feels amazing. As someone who bites their nails constantly, they also make me not want to bite them because my nails look so good lol
Edited for Mark
Make up. I’m not talking full mascara and s**t, I mean for covering stuff up. I have terrible dark circles, and no amount of good quality regular sleep or skin cream will make them go away. I just have thin skin there. My wife offered me some make up to cover them and it was incredible. Totally invisible too. This was higher priced stuff though, so be wary of the cheap stuff
I’m all in on the bidet. Bought it for my parents as kind of a prank gift and my dad wouldn’t let my mom keep it. “I don’t want water shooting up my ass!”. I kept it and wouldn’t go back. Way cleaner, suprisingly refreshing, and I was the one laughing when nobody could find toilet paper in the stores. A roll lasts me forever now.
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At 31, I look better and younger than I did at 21. I mean I started regularly working out, drinking tons more water, and eating properly at 23/24, as well as stopped drinking booze 2 years ago, so those helped too…but moisturizing definitely helps.
Real men don’t give a s**t that other people think they’re being “unmanly”. I’ll confidently order a cosmo at the bar in my purple shirt because it’s a good drink and purple is my favorite color
Going to a salon with actual stylists for haircuts. What a difference it makes to have someone who knows how to make your specific face look better rather than slapping on a one size fits all cut, plus salons frequently offer sparkling water, wine, etc. which is always a nice plus.
Cocktails – they’re delicious, and I’ve found some of the tastiest come in the daintiest glasses and have the effeminate/flirty names: Pink Passion, sweet seacrest blue, Sex on the Beach, etc. That aren’t the “manliest” to say/order
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Pedicures. They FEEL great and it’s nice to not have to deal with your toenails and dry ass skin on your feet.
Extra bonus: if the technician jokes about painting your toenails, say yes. It will MAKE their day and then you get the extra bonus of showing them off to friends and family. They will laugh too and if they make effeminate jokes, just say you don’t care and you’re confident in your masculinity that some polish isn’t going to bother you. And more importantly, it’s FUN.
Be open to the fact that you might be wrong, and when you are, even if you have argued that you were right. Admit that you were wrong.
Fanny Packs and Murses. If your on vacation and not actively trying get laid, get one of these. Have everything your ever need right at your fingertips without filling your pockets to the point it hurts to sit. They are like detachable cargo shorts. (F**k while we are at it, bring back cargo shorts.) And if you say well I have a backpack, nah. Way to big, way to many pockets, you don’t look any manlier or cooler with it, and the whole put it down on the ground or do that weird turn-it-around, kangaroo pouch technique, with the fanny pack or murse you would have been on your way already.
I have a Satchel that I took to vegas as a joke after the hangover movie. Let me tell you when sitting by the pool I didn’t worry about my phone getting wet, I knew where everything was, only guy that did not loose sunglasses it was great. I was even able to fit my Ipad in there. Pickpockets, don’t worry at all. And if you say purse thieves, yeah they aren’t stealing a dudes purse I promise.
Now that my daughter is 2 both wife and I have discovered fanny packs. Especially during work from home I have been living in basketball shorts and flip flops. What I need to run to the market? Well I guess I can throw on some shorts so I have pockets for my EDC, or just keep everything in my fanny pack by the door and in 3 seconds I am in get s**t done mode. Come home, boom 3 seconds till comfort and everything I need to navigate the outside world is contained in one tiny little space that I know where it is and know it will be ready when I need it.
Manscaping, hair down there is just stinky and gross especially between those cheeks
Keeping a journal!
I told a friend he should do this as a suggestion for a hobby and his reply was “… But I’m not a 14 year old girl!”
Aromatherapy is some powerful s**t. Especially if you’re already the type of person who needs to meditate for your well-being.
Pretty much everything and anything stigmatised as “gay” or “unmanly” is probably going to improve your life, or at the very least is worth trying. Investing in a better grooming routine, trying ‘feminine’ hobbies like dancing or knitting, thinking about and considering your feelings, being more open to giving and receiving comfort and affection, being unashamed of liking genuinely GOOD s**t like fruity cocktails and bright colours, prostate orgasms – really, toxic masculinity has stripped men of so much and forced a lot of them to live scrunched up, repressed little lives. Learning to let go of that will really help open up your world so much.
Over the age of 30 or so, having friends and doing things with them. Most people I know, if they have friends at all, they’re either work buddies, or family get-togethers. But a couple of guys being friends and leaving the wives to go on a camping trip, etc. just seems weird.
I miss having friends.
Outfits! Not just like suits to events, but every day outfits. Stop just wearing clothes and wear outfits. Coordinate your shirt, your pants, and your jacket. Match your leathers. Get colors, get layers, get socks that are fun and you like. Put on a nice looking watch.
I hear men complain all the time on Reddit that they don’t ever get compliments. I get them all the time (or did, before Covid). Not just by people I know, but literally random people on the street. “I love your shoes”, “That vest looks amazing”, “Awesome watch!” All kinds of stuff. I’ve had men and women stop me and ask where I got certain things.
Men, if you want compliments, dress in outfits.
Washing your ass
Keeping a diary. You’ll become more reflective and more productive as a result.
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Getting a massage! My SO never had one and I convinced him to get one. He felt so relieved
Having females friends that are just friends.
Almost every one of my male friends only have other male friends. All the females in their life they’re just trying to f**k, or date.
Proper dancing lessons, read books (or even poetry), discuss their thoughts and feelings openly. Cry
Spin classes. They’re so much fun and way more hardcore than they look.
The She-Ra series on Netflix
Wearing a mask, apparently… (at least here in Texas)
“Girly” drinks. They have more alcohol than beer and are a lot tastier, too. Also, at-home spa days. Light a candle, throw a face mask on, play some music. And, if you get into it, take some time with getting off.
guys should definitely try yoga!
at the very least, it’s a form of exercise that builds balance, flexibility and strength in each and every pose, is low-impact enough to be done until old age, but is challenging enough to build muscle.
plus if you go into the other aspects of yoga, including meditation, breathing, concentration, etc., life feels better and lighter.
Trying to s**k your own d**k. It can’t be gay if it’s your own