We talk a lot about timelines — when you should get your education, where you should be in your career, how old you have to be when you get married, and the age when it’s OK to start having children. We feel the pressure to not only have these things, but when to have them as well. One Instagram account, however, is rejecting these constraints with style. And humor. ‘Not Engaged‘ is dedicated to one woman’s ringless left hand traveling to places and events while using the hashtag #blessed. And she’s not alone. The account already has over 103k followers who call her ‘Queen’ and enjoy every step of her journeys.
#1
When ur not engaged and u wrote a lil birthday poem: ‘twas the night of ur bday and all through the kitchen, all ur dishes were clean, lol no guy helped pitch in.
Listen beautiful relax classics on our Youtube channel.
ur presents were wrapped all cute with such care, by empowering folks who have always been there.
ur home was in order, just how u like. because u knew better than to go out with mike (i mean he insisted on neon plastic cubes for a side table, what is he insane? it’s not sustainable. but i digress…) now chickpeas! go travel! go invest! go explore! go buy ur own place! go build ur own store!
i can’t thank u enough for following along. even jenna from accounting is joining the throng (ugh maybe. she’s such a flake tho…) anyway thank u my dears, every woman (and man!) plz wear sunscreen, be kind, and never text dan.
xo
tacos and thanks,
Mary
Image credits: notengaged
#2
When ur not engaged and ur single and it’s valentine’s day and ur gonna get chinese food and movies just like a true single this day. and honestly it’s great. cuz ur gonna take back this day for self love or roomie love or best friend love cuz love will not be hijacked by flying babies with bows and arrows just for couples. YOU HEAR ME MY SINGLE CHICKPEA ARMY!? this day is for all. u r my internet valentine. its not just for jenna in accounting with her dumb ring and her crossfit fiancée. and guess what else? u survived the holidays, u survived new years, and now u’ve survived the last dumb little war on shoving this pressure of love down ur throats for the season. now we go, onto the breach for spring and discounted candies and all the good times. Blessed love u all. happy thursday. u r important and special and the best.
Image credits: notengaged
#3
When ur not engaged hangin in a cute lil sun bed watchin the paddle boaters go by who r all like “babe watch me.” no, babe, get on ur own paddle boat and paddle paddle paddle out to sea cuz u don’t have time to watch ur bf have fun while u “keep an eye on the stuff.” boy buy a waterproof bag! the gospel of of notengaged amen.
Image credits: notengaged
#4
When ur not engaged and u cook a family sized meal but the family is just ur own lil tum tum which is fine can u imagine having to share food like someone is all like “babe can i try a lil?” dude no i need every one of these potatoes get out GET OUT JOSH
Image credits: notengaged
Listen beautiful relax classics on our Youtube channel.
#5
When ur not engaged waiting for the train and u look down and there are the remnants of a proposal gone wrong? breakup gone right? deadly florist battle? idk what happened here but im gonna go home and buy my own flowers, and i’ll be like “will u take urself and be the coolest person in whatever u do for the rest of ur life?” and u’ll be like “self, u had me at ‘after picking up shampoo im gonna get avocados for guacamole, they are on sale.’” until that guy texts me back tho we’ll see
Image credits: notengaged
#6
When ur not engaged and u were able to get up early and do a three hour strenuous hike without anybody being like “but babe watch me swim” boy take a hike. with me. or don’t i don’t care im going anyway. attention plz if u do not get a photo of the blue domes ur flight will be cancelled xo blessed ps saw several lady hikers out there doin it on their own yasssss YASSSSSS
Image credits: notengaged
#7
When ur not engaged and u have retaken the island from the honeymooners and it is a free independent vacation ground once again. come my sisters, sit at ur restaurants urself, enjoy a platonic sunset and feast upon this new golden age! plz b advised all newlyweds will be arrested thank u
Image credits: notengaged
#8
When ur not engaged and u go to @nyfw to see some bridesmaid dresses u know u will probably have to wear sometime this year. and u show up and look like what can only be described as the pre-makeover anne hathaway in the devil wears prada? like i wore rain boots and a less elegant messy bun. but it’s totally cool because this guy asked for my number. and by number i mean asked the number of croissants i had taken. nobody else was eating!!!!
Image credits: notengaged
#9
When ur not engaged at a cute lil fancy hotel and the concierge is like “champagne? o sorry, miss, r u under 21?” and ur like “lol im 31” and she’s like “what’s ur secret!?” and ur like “im very single lol cheers” save on night cream. stay single. (ok but also night cream and drink water)
Image credits: notengaged
#10
When ur not engaged chillin w a cute lil glass of wine and not with that “consultant” from bumble who went to machu picchu and apparently took a myers briggs test. wut did u consult cloning everyone’s profile? y r u all named james? y do u all have multiple bluetooth headsets? wut r ur credit scores? u know what don’t answer im gonna have a pinot grijjjj and a bag a chips happy tuesday xo
Image credits: notengaged
#11
When ur not engaged and from this single hand to yours, merry christmas. you are important and valued and santa loves you no matter how much bling you have. like, he brought me an individual sized ice cream maker, santa EMBRACES SINGLEDOM YA KNOW!? MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU OLD BUILDING AND LOANS xo -Mary
Image credits: notengaged
#12
When ur not engaged and u catch ur coworker updating her wedding site during work hours and ur like does this mean i can spend work hours napping because i also can “never find the time” and “really need to get this done” xo
Image credits: notengaged
#13
When ur not engaged and u do a cute lil popover to athens to see the parthenon and the temple of aphrodite to be all like “girl ur the ancient greek goddess of love! y r u wasting all ur energy on justins to kellys who can’t let go of one another’s hand on this tour for fear of being thought of as single for one moment and just take my picture?” and she’s like “dude they r NOT on me don’t put that on me im up on this hill tryin to get everyone to have realistic conversations about credit scores and instead they’re makin out in my temple. it’s like i rose from the foam of the sea for no reason”
Image credits: notengaged
#14
When ur not engaged on ur not honeymoon havin a cute lil swim up to the cute lil swim up bar and ur unbejeweled left hand orders a strawberry daiquiri. poor me im single whatever shall i do can u imagine if u didn’t sweat about that tinder date and just did whatever u wanted? lol wear sunscreen! xo
Image credits: notengaged
#15
When ur not engaged and u live alone and people are v v v concerned u won’t be able to do anything like put up shelves or ward off intruders or feed urself and ur like “i know how to use electricity. i have like seventeen padlocks and a great impression of a man’s voice in case any strangers knock, and i have three types of shredded cheese in the fridge. doin FINE.”
Image credits: notengaged
#16
When ur not engaged and u go a lil race car driving which is like so cute cute cute in ur lil helmet and ur racin around on ur own and there r no couples cuz all the cars r one seat so nobody can be like “bebe i’ll drive” like no u won’t rodney imma speed demon. blessed lol where am i but also this was super fun and should we all be empowering lady go kart drivers!? chickpeas racing army omg let’s make jackets
Image credits: notengaged
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Source: boredpanda.com