If you’ve ever been job hunting, you should be familiar with the pain of creating and/or updating your resume. Making yourself seem appealing by summarizing your work life and educational achievements can be quite a chore, especially for those of us that don’t enjoy boasting. The task can weigh on people so much, it’s often tempting to just send a quick message to the recruiter saying, “I can do this job, give me this job.” However, like many things in this modern world, we do need to go through the whole song and dance about it, with formatting, designing, and peppering it with personality (not too much, though!).

If you’re in the middle of creating your resume right now and need some tips for what not to do, the collection of posts below will show you what will not get you hired. If you already have a resume and feel unsure about it, the list might help you realize that your efforts are, in fact, quite acceptable. And if you already have a job, scrolling down might make you feel like you should hold on to it as the job market is insane.

#1 Someone Sent Me A Picture Of This Resume. Hire This Man Now

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Creating a good resume is quite a feat. On one hand, it has to stand out from the rest but on the other, it can’t be too out of the box either. “A creative resume is working against you,” Stacie Haller, a job search coach, told CNN Business. “You have to get someone’s attention in six seconds, and recruiters know where to look to get information, and that’s where we want to find it. We don’t have time to figure you out.” She suggests candidates make use of the top of the resume by putting their name, contact details, where they live, and a quick summary of their experience there.

Many employers these days also use resume parsing tools that scan every single application looking for specific keywords, skills, or timelines. They sort the resumes even before a real person has a chance to look through it. This means that if your resume is not easy to parse, it might get weeded out even if you suit all the requirements. So, gather all the keywords that are prominent in your field and make sure to put it in your application.

#2 I’ll Do Anything For Work, But I Won’t Do That

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#3 Someone Sent Their Resume And…

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When your resume finally reaches a recruiter, there are ways to make a good impression. For example, make sure that the language you’re using is not too boastful. According to a study published in 2016, recruiters prefer moderate self-promotion. That means stating that you’re good at something and you have relevant experience would do better than saying you’re excellent, the best they can find, and an ideal candidate. In fact, bragging too much can hurt your chances of getting a job, so keep your ego in check.

A tip that follows in a similar vein is tailoring your resume to the specific job you’re applying for. This might mean omitting irrelevant experience and highlighting achievements that bolster your chances to shine. You should also alter your title so it suits the job you’re applying. Addressing some of the specific requirements mentioned in the job posting can also be useful as well as updating your summary to fit the role better.

#4 Received An Application Today. Here Is The “Resume” That Was With It

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#5 Read This On An Applicant’s Resume

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#6 This Resume Was Almost Perfect Until

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Depending on where you live, including a picture in your resume might be a must or a big no-no. In countries such as the US and the UK, including pictures goes against the strict anti-discrimination laws that aim to make hiring processes free from race, age, and gender profiling. The biases that come with presenting a picture were proven back in 1986 when a study concluded that people favor attractive candidates to the less attractive ones. That seemed to be the rule for any job, yet the pattern was especially prevalent when looking at customer-facing positions. 

#7 Receiving Resumes During A Pandemic

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#8 A CV Emailed To The Recruitment Agency I Work For. This Is The Entire Resume And The Blue Is Where His Name Was

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#9 A Resume My Wife Received This Week

“Faith, m
Resume- was working at a trucking company, just got fired for insubordination: not true. looking for upright employer.”

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However, one cannot erase discrimination simply by omitting a candidate’s picture; the subconscious biases rear their heads anyway. Take ageism as an example. British Sociological Association states that older applicants are three times less likely to get an interview than younger ones. Yet, surely if you omit the picture and the birth date, you’re back on the leveled playing field, right? Wrong. Two Belgian researchers analyzed the effects of subtle age cues when assessing resumes. They found that people with older-sounding names and dated hobbies were disadvantages during candidate reviews. 

#10 Someone Sent A Resume With Their Duolingo Streak Under “Languages”

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#11 There Was An Attempt To Write A Resume

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#12 Why Am I Getting Such An Influx Of People That Act Like This Is Not A Professional Job? Yes, You Need A Resume, And Sorry We Don’t “Hold Dogs Down”

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Subtle cues of race are also present in candidate applications. An article published by Harvard Business School pointed out real-life cases of students “whitening” their resumes and having better outcomes. Black students, for example, omitted their race when talking about organizations they belong to. One student even decided not to mention a prestigious scholarship they got because it could reveal their race. Asian students admitted to changing their names to Americanized nicknames which led to a better response rate. They also changed their hobbies to those more common in white western culture.

#13 This Kid Tried Applying At My Store The Other Day. He Used Tupac As The Background Of His Resume

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#14 I Had A Question About Your Resume, Miss

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#15 Maybe The Worst Resume I Have Received

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With all these biases at play, blind or anonymous recruitment is becoming a more and more popular option. With this type of candidate screening, all the information that a recruiter could be biased about—age, gender, name, sometimes also personal interests and education—is taken out of the resume. This can be done with the help of a software or a dedicated recruiter that later passes it on to the screener. In this way, the information presented is a neat collection of only job-relevant information. This should increase the chances of marginalized candidates. However, this doesn’t mean that biases will not come into play in the later stage of the hiring process.

#16 Someone Dropped Off Their Resume Where I Work, I Feel Like I Should Call Them And Let Them Know

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#17 One Of My Recruiters Just Received This Resume This Morning

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#18 Guy Came Into Work With This Resume

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All in all, resumes are quite a big deal. They can help us forge our path forward but also put us in unfair and unfortunate situations. They make you think whether simple pieces of paper should have such significance in determining our lives. After all, sometimes they are the only thing that another person will ever know about us. Either way, keeping that in mind is important and might prevent you from making the regrettable yet hilarious mistakes people made when creating resumes posted in this list. To witness more similar accidents, check out our posts here and here.

#19 Some Guy Dropped This Resume Off At My Family’s Restaurant Today

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#20 I Dunno If This Guy Was Trolling, But We Received This Resume A While Ago

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#21 Wife’s Employer Received This Resume For A Position. He Got An Interview Because The Manager Couldn’t Stop Laughing

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#22 My Dad Asked For Help Sending His Resume Online And Handed Me This

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#23 Attached This Instead Of A Resume

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#24 There Was An Attempt To Showcase Language Skills On The CV

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#25 Probably Best Not To Include That On Your Resume

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#26 Our Company Received This Resume From An Applicant Today

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#27 This Is An Actual Resume That I Received Today

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#28 A CV That Was Handed To Me In Work Recently That I Had To Get A Picture Of Before I Passed It On To The Manager

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#29 The Third Language In This Resume

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#30 A Job Recruiter Actually Received This Resume. This Should Go Without Saying, But Don’t Do This

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#31 I Once Received This Resume, And I’m Still Uncertain Whether The Person Intended It As A Joke

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#32 Just Saw This Resume. I Don’t Think They Know What A Reference Is

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#33 Give Hulk Job

Funny way to get your name out there. I gotta give this animator some props for guts.

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#34 Presenting My 2004 Resume. “They’ll Hire Me For Sure”. They Didn’t

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#35 Local Company Received This Resume. I Bet They Hired Him On The Spot

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#36 Well, It Definitely Makes An Impression

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#37 After Spending The Past Two Weeks Handing Out Resumes, I Just Noticed It Says Excessive Masturbation Under My Hobbies

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#38 Diabetes Is An Activity Now?

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#39 The Skills Section On My Friend’s Resume

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#40 The Manager Showed Me This Resume To Fill In Our Bookkeeper Position

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#41 The Cover Letter To Her 6-Page Resume. Of Course She Included Height/Weight. I Give Loans

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#42 My Company Is Hiring. This Was By Far My Favorite Resume. I Mean, Really?

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#43 10/10 Resume

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#44 We Have Seen A Bad Resume Or Two, But This One Is Quite Special

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#45 List Of Skills On A Resume That Was Sent To Me

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#46 If Your Resume Says “Detail Oriented” Make Sure You Are

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#47 This Bar Graph In A Resume I Received Today. I Don’t Even Know What To Say. He Should Have Included “Honesty” And Scored That Highly Too

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#48 Resume Skills Metrics

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#49 My Coworker Got A CV From A Girl A Few Days Ago, And Her Information Is Interesting

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#50 Resume That Was Dropped Today And Impressed My Manager So He Decided To Call Him For An Interview

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#51 Resume Writing 101

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#52 Reading Between The Lines On This Resume Tells Me That This Applicant Drives A Subaru

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#53 The Skills On This Resume

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#54 A Friend Of Mine Works In HR And Had This Resume Submitted To Their Company Today

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#55 A Real, Complete Resume Submitted For A Hospital Admin Job

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#56 Resume Worthy

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#57 I Am Currently Reading Resumes And I Have A Feeling That This Person Is Not Telling Me The Truth

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#58 Received This Resume Today

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#59 My Words On Draft Resume I Made In Grade 8. I Have No Idea Why I Said Dark Matter Amused Me Or Liking Quantum Stuff Since I Knew Nothing Of It

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#60 I Received A CV This Morning With An Interesting Choice Of Hobby Listed

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#61 A Friend Of A Friend Is A Recruiter In Los Angeles And Received This Resume Today. Are We Really Coming To The Place Where People Think This Is Okay Now?

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#62 Just Received This Beauty Of A Resume

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#63 My Workplace Received This CV Today

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#64 This CV

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#65 There Was An Attempt To Write A Resume

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#66 Just Submitted My Resume, Then Noticed This

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#67 Sad Because No Job, Cringe Because This Resume

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#68 Roommate Didn’t Pay Rent For April And Left Our House. Found This Resume In A Box Of Old Crap He Left

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#69 Not Often You Come Across A Potenial Hire Who Has Experience Not Only Climbing Stairs But Also Decending Them. I Expect Resume Padding, But This Is Another Level

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#70 This Resume Got Submitted At My Work. I Think We Should Hire Him

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#71 Resume: This Person Is At Least 20 Years Old

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#72 Currently Taking Applications At Work, Received This Minimalist Resume Today

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#73 As Someone Who Screens Resumes All The Time, This Makes Me Laugh And Then Makes Me Sad

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#74 A Mate Of Mine Made His CV And Claims To Know Obscure Code Languages And have Experience In Sales

Yes, that is the guy’s profile picture on the CV. Yes, he photoshopped those glasses on to look smarter. Also, I don’t think he knows what the red squiggly line means. As you can probably tell, most of the key skills and hardware/networking knowledge are just fillers. For example: “Hardware ordering” means he knows how to go online and buy a new RAM stick.

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#75 This Stellar Resume, My Friend Received At Work Today

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#76 This Resume

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#77 A Funny Resume I Received Today. Kids From Different “Bag Grounds”

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#78 Received This Resume In Response To A Dispatching Position, Advertised For An Extremely Detailed Person

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#79 Received This Resume Today. Do I Send Back “Mid 1v1 For Job”?

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#80 I Decided To Post My Candidate’s Comic Sans CV

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#81 CV Review Response

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#82 This Is A Resume Someone Sent In. In Its Entirety. I Wish I Was Kidding

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#83 Resume: Page 5 Of 6

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#84 So A Guy Dropped Off This Resume Today. He Was Very Serious Too

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#85 This Is A Paragraph Included In A Resume That A Kid Dropped Off To Me At My Store. The Spelling And Punctuation Mistakes Are The Best

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#86 Going Through Resumes This Week

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#87 My Buddy Gets Awesome Resumes All The Time

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#88 I Once Received This As Someone’s Entire Resume

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#89 Placed An Ad For A Job Opening Online – This Is A “Resume” I Received In Response. Not Sure If I’ll Interview This Guy

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#90 Somebody Dropped This Resume At My Job Today. It’s A Cellphone Company

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#91 The Best BOH Resume You’ve Ever Seen. Pure Sauce

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#92 Found My Old CV After Leaving School And I Now Realise Why I Never Got A Job With It

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#93 Some Girl Just Dropped This Resume Off

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#94 This Resume Is “Beyond” Very Smart And Amazing And Creative And Very Smart

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#95 I Was Late For An Interview After Working An 8-Hour Shift And Didn’t Realize I Printed A Mini Resume Until It Was To Late

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#96 In His 30s, Wearing A Sweet Lightning Bolt T-Shirt, He Handed Me This Resume

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#97 This Is My Friend’s Boyfriend’s Cover Letter For His Resume. He Has No Idea Why He Never Gets Called Back

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#98 This Intellectual Told Me Recruiters Love His Resume But Couldn’t Figure Out Why No One Would Hire Him

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#99 Received This “Resume” In Response To A Sous Chef Job I Posted

“Hey, I have had lots of jobs, I have worked in a few commercial kitchens, a boy scout camp, and a donut shop we had to deal with allergy’s and picky kids and stuff. When I was 16 until I was 18 I had a job at the feed store in Umatilla Florida, That was hard work. We loaded semi’s and box trucks full with feed and hay and dropped them off at customers houses. 500lb bales of alfalfa and hay and feed, It ws the biggest distributer in the Ocala area. When I turned 18 I moved out here to s-f to go to cooking school. That didn’t work out because le cordon bleu wanted me to get a co-signer and my mom does not have money so I had to do something, when I turned 19. I had a job at cook sf as doesn’t cook then. I’m 20 Now I’m looking into other things I’ve done some modeling/acting and still will hopefully have time to fit my schedule. I am a very active person I and a hard worker and know about customer service, I’m very smart and I’m a fast learner. I have been cooking since I was 12.

I just typed this up so you can get an Idea thanks,”

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#100 My Colleague Sent This Resume Over For My Review Before We Interview A Candidate

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#101 “Left And Right Brained Engineer” And “Optimizer” Sends Our Office 3 Pages Of The Most Unnecessarily Ink-Wasting Resume Ever

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#102 So… Got This Resume Sent In To My Job Today. This Can’t Be Real

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#103 We Recently Received This Resume

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#104 If You Want A Good Laugh, Please Read This Resume A Guy Dropped Off At My Work

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#105 Skill To Put On Your Resume

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Source: boredpanda.com