Tired of the hogwash that inspirational quotes try to feed you? Sickened by motivational quotes’ mushy tone? Well then, you are absolutely not alone! For we, too, would rather twist an ankle than read another excerpt like that. Thus, we shall join our forces and our prowess for the unconventional and find the most comfortable middle ground in these Demotivational quotes of which we’ve gathered loads, and each of them is as good a mockery as any! 

So, what should you expect from these demotivational quotes? Will they take your life force away from you with their contemptuous words? Or maybe they will rip all the joy out of your breath? Well, neither! What these non-quotes about life will do is make you laugh in that very ironic way where your face makes a sneer and embers of amusement start to dance in your eyes. By and large, though, these snarky quotes are actually inspiration masked in a ghillie suit of ornery words that should be read as irony. But you, of course, already know that and will read these silly quotes as a source of entertainment, rather than wishing to actually bring yourself down.

However, we should probably stop wasting our precious time with this gabble and skip straight to the real deal here – our wonderful, mesmerizing, and truly glorious selection of demotivational quotes. They are, as you might know very well by now, just an iota down below. Once you are there, do not forget to give these cool quotes your vote and share this article with your like-minded snarky friends. 

#1

“Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and make bad decisions.” – Marion G. Harmon

#2

“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” – Alan Dundes

#3

“Every dead body on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person, so… maybe calm down.”

#4

“If life doesn’t break you today, don’t worry. It will try again tomorrow.”

#5

“Just because we accept you as you are doesn’t mean we’ve abandoned hope you’ll improve.”

#6

“Idiocy – never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”

#7

“People who say they’ll give 110% don’t understand how percentages work.”

#8

“If you never try anything new, you’ll miss out on many of life’s great disappointments”

#9

“A thousand-mile journey starts with one step. Then again, so does falling in a ditch and breaking your neck.”

#10

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” – Albert Einstein

#11

“If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.” – W.C. Fields

#12

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out.”

#13

“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” – Margaret Mead

#14

“Multitasking – the art of doing twice as much as you should half as well as you could.”

#15

“Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.” – William Goldman

#16

“Just because you are unique doesn’t mean you are useful.”

#17

“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.” – W.C. Fields

#18

“It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

#19

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey

#20

“Nothing says ‘you’re a loser’ more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner.”

#21

“The story so far: In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.” – Douglas Adams

#22

“There’s always someone on Youtube that can do it better than you.”

#23

“Go ahead and take risks – it gives the rest of us something to laugh at.”

#24

“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.” – Lemony Snicket

#25

“Not everything is a lesson. Sometimes you just fail.” – Dwight Schrute

#26

“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.” – Bette Midler

#27

“It’s only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames.” – Harry Hill

#28

“When life knocks you down, stay there and take a nap.”

#29

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” – Dorothy Parker

#30

“The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin

#31

“There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.”

#32

“Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.”

#33

“The reward for good work is more work”. – Francesca Elisia

#34

“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.”

#35

“You’re naturally funny because your life is a joke.”

#36

“Every day is Friday when you’re unemployed.”

#37

“Raise your hand if you have had quite enough unsolicited advice about what should be done with any lemons that life may or may not give you.”

#38

“Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.” – John Benfield

#39

“Challenging yourself… is a good way to fail.” – Dom Mazzetti

#40

“The meaning of life is to find your gift. So good luck with that.”
Source: boredpanda.com