The healthy way to react when someone’s annoying or mean is to be the bigger person. Embrace what’s happened, forgive them, and move on with your life. But nobody’s ‘perfect.’ Sometimes, we can’t help but seek revenge to teach others a lesson. This is far more common than you might think.
The users of X, formerly Twitter, recently opened up about the pettiest things they’ve ever done. It is both a hilarious and low-key frightening read about the extent to which people will go to punish others. Scroll down for a good dose of justice… and possibly inspiration.
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The online thread, created by X user The Annasthesiologist, aka @fuzzymittens, was a massive success on the social network. It was viewed 27.4 million times and counting at the time of writing.
But what’s even more impressive is just how open and honest many X users were with everyone else in the comments. They seemed happy to spill the tea about some of the lowest moments of their lives. It shows a lot of self-awareness and a willingness to take responsibility.
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Pettiness, anger, and revenge are all linked to the desire for justice. When we perceive real or imagined injustices in life, we want to ‘balance the scales,’ so to speak. That’s why we might verbally lash out at someone being rude to us. Or why we spend hours or even days fuming after we’re denied a raise or that promotion we’d been seeking. There’s a clear wrong that we want to right.
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As the examples in this post clearly show, we sometimes get worked up over completely ordinary slights. Say, when someone’s slightly annoying or arrogant. It’s natural to feel upset. However, it’s clearly petty behavior if we punish someone over such minor mistakes. We should know better than to give in to our intrusive thoughts.
However, some of the other stories in The Annasthesiologist’s thread deal with heavier topics like infidelity. While it’s natural to want some sort of revenge or closure when your heart’s broken, in the long run, sewing shrimp into someone’s curtains isn’t the healthiest decision. It’s understandable, yes. But it probably won’t help you move on.
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If you want emotional closure with someone who has genuinely wronged you, there are two main approaches you can take. The first one is quite unpleasant. It requires you to have an honest-to-God conversation with the other person, where you’re open about how their behavior made you feel.
The idea isn’t simply to vent or to ‘prove’ that the other person is wrong. It’s about sorting through your feelings and understanding why someone did what they did.
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The second approach is reaching out to a mental health expert to help you reframe your experiences. Therapy can be an incredibly powerful tool if you’re willing to give it a chance and have some patience.
No therapist on Earth can snap their fingers and make your problems disappear. What they can do, however, is assist and guide you through your journey in solving your issues. They can offer you objective insights that you might not come to on your own.
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While often quite satisfying in the moment, revenge has a lot of negative consequences for everyone further down the line. Anger management expert and licensed clinical psychologist Bernard Golden, Ph.D., points out that vengeful thoughts and behavior are often only a “temporary distraction from underlying suffering.”
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According to psychologist Golden, seeking revenge can lead to a cycle of wanting more revenge. This is because people expect it to be enjoyable as they hunt for an emotional release. However, aside from an initial burst of emotions, revenge is often far less satisfying than anticipated. And it gives others a justification to enact revenge on you in turn, even if you were originally the victim.
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At the end of the day, it’s only beneficial if we slow down, take a step back, and view the situation we’re in from a long-term perspective. Think about what consequences your behavior can have. Some pettiness here and there probably won’t wreck your reputation and relationships. But if it’s a consistent behavior pattern, you might have to work on yourself to rise above some slights.
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Reframing your perspective on revenge is about becoming a better person and letting at least some of the little things go. Otherwise, you might find yourself emotionally exhausted as every little thing triggers incredibly intense emotions in you. Emotional resilience is a heck of a skill to develop.
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Source: boredpanda.com