A Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report found that the US birth rate fell by 4% from 2019 to 2020, the sharpest single-year decline in almost 50 years, and the lowest number of births since 1979. With more and more people passing on the prospect of having children, childfree people are still seen with a fair share of stigma by society.
With so much pressure to experience parenthood and the joys and challenges that come with it, people who consciously choose not to do so have to find ways to build resilience and inner strength to stand up for themselves.
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One such way is not taking things too seriously to begin with. Just like this Facebook page titled “Childfree Humor” which is created “for people who don’t care much for kids and want to have a laugh about it.”
The page is home to almost 94k followers and it even has a humorous Etsy shop with bold and sarcastic childfreedom-related shirts. Scroll down below through a selection of “Childfree Humor” posts that range from painfully hilarious to all too relatable.
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Many childfree people hear that one annoying question way more often than they should. “When are you having a baby?” is the kind of question many people would do anything not to hear ever again. Previously Bored Panda spoke with Susan Petang, a certified divorce coach and the creator of “The Quiet Zone Coaching,” who teaches people how to stop feeling overwhelmed and start waking up happy in the morning again.
Petang said that it can indeed be super annoying when others (family or not!) continually ask when you’re going to have kids, get married, or something else that they think you should be doing. Referring to these questions, Petang said that “no, it’s none of their business.”
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“Let me ask you this: Why are they asking in the first place? Is it because they know you want kids, and are concerned about your happiness? Is it because they’re just nosy? Is it because they don’t have the social skills to know that it’s an inappropriate question?”
Susan argues that “trying to understand WHY someone is doing something annoying doesn’t justify their behavior, but putting yourself in someone else’s shoes for a moment helps YOU be less annoyed.” She added: “you can even think to yourself, ‘Wow, it’s really sad that they don’t understand how annoying that question is.’”
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However, we need to remember that other people are going to do what they are going to do. This applies to all kind of things people talk about, whether it’s asking you “when are you having a baby?” or a whole other unrelated thing.
“We have no control over their behavior. You’re right, your Nosy Aunt Rosie shouldn’t be asking you these questions – but she just did,” the life coach said. However, Petang argues that “our expectations of others aren’t going to change the weather on Jupiter, so don’t get all bristly when people ask stupid or nosy questions – we can’t control them, but we can control ourselves and our responses.”
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On the other hand, some people feel like they’re pushed into a corner. So in those cases, you may have no choice but to shut the nosy people down. It doesn’t need to be aggressive at all. “Address the intention rather than the question. For example, the woman in the story could say to her brother, ‘That’s something I love about you – you’re so concerned about my happiness!’ (Note that she hasn’t answered the nosy question.)”
Petang added that another great response would be, “You seem like you really want us to have a baby!” Then let them explain their question. “You can also come right out and ask, ‘Why do you want to know?’”
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In another interview, we spoke with Amy Blackstone, professor of sociology at the University of Maine and the author of “Childlfree by Choice: The Movement Redefining Family & Creating a New Age of Independence.” When asked if such a lifestyle is getting more popular nowadays, which it certainly feels like it, Amy said that it’s certainly more popular in the sense that more people are aware of it as an option than ever before.
According to the professor and book author, “That is largely thanks to the willingness of childfree people to speak out about their choice and of course to the decades-long work of reproductive justice advocates. Whether more people than in the past will ultimately remain childfree for their lifetimes remains to be seen.”
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“Certainly more millennials are currently childfree than were previous generations at their age, but there hasn’t been a dramatic increase in lifetime childlessness,” she said and added that only “time will tell whether today’s millennials are opting out of parenthood altogether or simply delaying it.”
There’s a common misconception that parenthood defines us unlike anything else. Amy said that there are good reasons that this misconception is so common. “Almost from the moment we are born, we are taught that becoming a parent is one of the most important milestones of adulthood. For this reason, it makes sense that folks might think that parenthood is the be all, end all experience,” she explained
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The professor assured us that from all kinds of social science research, we now know that having kids is not required for living a complete, happy, and fulfilling life. To anyone interested in childfree life and the aspects that come with it, she also recommended her illuminating book “Childfree By Choice.”
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Source: boredpanda.com