Parents always talk about the “terrible twos,” when their toddlers relentlessly wreak havoc on their homes and patience levels. But let’s not forget that the teenage years can be quite tumultuous as well. That girl who was once a sweet and loving child is now pumped full of hormones and has learned how to sneak out of the house and effortlessly hurl the most offensive insults you’ve ever heard.
Many teens go through one particularly rough patch that makes parents want to rip their hair out before returning back to being kind, civilized humans. But one mom who has been dealing with years of unruly behavior from her daughter is now asking the internet for advice. Below, you’ll find the mother’s full explanation of why she no longer wants to live with her daughter, as well as some of the replies concerned readers have left her.
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This mom has been putting up with cruel behavior from her teenage daughter for years
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Now, she’s decided that it’s time for one of them to move out of the house
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Later, the mom responded to several readers and shared even more details about the situation
Some difficult behavior is to be expected from teenagers
Teenagers are an interesting breed. On one hand, many of them care about nothing more than their social lives and having friends. But on the other hand, they have an innate knack for being cruel that no other age group can compete with. Whether it comes from insecurities, hormones or the difficult task of trying to figure out who they are as they age into adulthood, teens can certainly be mean. But this is something parents have to prepare themselves for. If you have kids, you should expect to deal with some challenges during their adolescence. According to Evolve Treatment, teens are likely to become more impulsive and emotional from the age of 12 to young adulthood.
Their prefrontal cortexes are developing, and they’re starting to undergo the process of separation and individuation. They might suddenly feel the need to pull away from their parents to be their own person, and in turn, they might start unnecessary conflicts with Mom and Dad. As painful as this may be for parents to experience, Evolve urges them to try to understand where their teens are coming from. It’s not easy when the people we love most in the world hurt us, but we have to remember that they (most likely) won’t act like this forever. We can’t take it too personally. They’re going through many changes, and what they usually need most is love and understanding.
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But parents must understand when their adolescents’ actions become concerning
Although conflicts between parents and their teens are perfectly normal, that doesn’t mean there’s never a reason to be concerned or to get involved. Evolve notes that certain behaviors, such as verbal and physical aggression or running away, should not be ignored. “If your teen is aggressively rude to you on a consistent basis, or has no qualms about attacking you physically, you need to get help – both for your teen and yourself,” they explain. There could be deeper underlying emotional issues that are going unaddressed, or the teen might feel like they’re not receiving enough attention at home.
It’s always possible that there’s a mental health issue at play when teens are out of control. Some of the most common diagnoses for teens are depression, anxiety, oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), disruptive mood dysregulation disorder, borderline personality disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), bipolar disorder, and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). And any of these issues might make your teen more likely to have outbursts or to have a harder time expressing their emotions. Raising Children notes that parents shouldn’t simply brush off their teens’ behavior and attribute it to adolescence if they’re showing signs of depression, running away from home, skipping school regularly, and using physical or verbal violence towards family members.
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Seeking professional help can sometimes be necessary to mend parent and teen relationships
When it feels like they’ve tried everything, it can be challenging for parents to know what to do with their difficult teens. This mother is considering boarding school, which according to TroubledTeens.com, can be helpful. But it’s important to choose the right school that is equipped to support her daughter’s specific issues. Help Guide also recommends seeking professional guidance when dealing with a particularly challenging teen. Aside from therapy, which can certainly be helpful, they note that parents should try to connect with their teens and be there for them, as difficult as it may be. If their teen is angry and violent, it will be important to set boundaries and find healthy ways for them to channel their anger, whether that be through physical activity, art or another outlet.
It can also be beneficial to create structure in your teen’s life. If they have a regular schedule, a healthy diet, activities to look forward to and not too much free time for scrolling on social media, and they’re sure to get enough sleep, their mood might naturally become slightly improved. And it’s important for parents to remember to take care of themselves as well. Finding ways to relax, a therapist or friend to vent to and positive things to focus on can be crucial when dealing with a stressful situation such as this.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this post in the comments below, pandas. Did you go through a similar experience when your kids were teens? Or were you more like the daughter when you were in your adolescence? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested, check out this Bored Panda article discussing what teens should understand about the real world next!
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Many readers shared messages of support and advice for the concerned mother
The post “I’m At My Wit’s End”: Mom Says She’s No Longer Willing To Live With Her Cruel Teen Daughter first appeared on Bored Panda.
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