Each parent’s parenting style is unique in its own way. It depends on the person’s cultural background, the values they hold, their family dynamics, and many, many more indicators. Some prefer a more strict approach, employing the “children need to be seen, not heard” type of attitude. Others are laxer and tend to shun rules altogether.
Abby Moxon (TikTok handle @abby.spamm84) wanted to show to the internet how her dad, a father of four daughters, is handling the task. She made a list of questions involving hypothetical situations and asked him how he would react to them. See how he fared below.
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This girl asked her dad a bunch of “what if” questions about parenting
Image credits: abby.spamm84
His answers helped her demonstrate his non-strict parenting style
“What would you do if I got a C or lower in a class?”
“Oh, as long as you tried your hardest, that’s fine.”
“What if I snuck out and went to a party and you found out the next morning?”
“Well, we would talk about it, but it’d be fine.”
Image credits: abby.spamm84
“What if I cussed you out during an argument?”
“I’d tell you I don’t like the way you talked to me and I’d cuss you out myself.”
“What would you do if I got my car towed and it cost $500 to get it back?”
“You better pay that bill.”
“You won’t pay it for me?”
“I’m not paying that bill for you.”
“What if I got arrested for shoplifting?”
“Well, I’d say that was stupid.”
Image credits: abby.spamm84
“What if I skipped class and you find out from the principal?”
“It’s school. It’s not that important.”
“What if I turned off my location?”
“Well, that’s annoying because then if you need me, I can’t help you.”
“Would you be mad?”
“I wouldn’t be mad, but I would say something to you.”
“What if I snuck a boy into the house?”
“There’s no need to sneak him in. You just gotta introduce him to me.”
“What if I threw a party when you’re gone and you find out the next morning?”
“As long as nobody got hurt and everything was intact, that’s fine.”
Image credits: abby.spamm84
“What would you do if I was drunk driving?”
“Oh, I’d be pissed. I would be taking your license and your car away.”
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“What if I came home at 2:00 AM but prior to that, I ignored all your calls and texts?”
“I’d be upset because I’d be waiting up for you, but that wouldn’t be a big deal.”
“What if I got a piercing or tattoo without you knowing?”
“That’s fine. It’s your body.”
Image credits: abby.spamm84
“What if I called you and I’m in a whole different state?”
“I’d have questions, but I’m here to help.”
“What if I scratched your new car backing out of the driveway?”
“Well, I’d be aggravated, but it’s just a car.”
“How come you never grounded me as a child?”
“You didn’t do anything bad. It really wasn’t worth grounding.”
See the adorable exchange in its entirety here
@abby.spamm84😭😭♬ original sound – Abby moxon
After the video exploded online, the dad and daughter duo clarified a few things in a follow-up Q&A
In the follow-up video, the dad claimed that he wasn’t always so “non-strict,” he simply learned to approach things with calmness along the way. He was seeing the impact of his harsher behavior on his children and decided to adjust how he was parenting. “You can demand respect, but you don’t have to do it in such a tyrant way. You can do it just through love and affection.” For him, it’s all about self-control: “Sometimes I get excited for a minute, but I take my deep breaths and reign it in.”
When asked to list the rules of the house, he quotes curfew and phone rules that can depend on grades. Whatever they are, he says he lays them out, informs kids of the consequences, and everything else in between is there to figure out as you go. “A home is not a place for condemnation. A home is a place that when you slip up, we’re gonna let you know you slipped up. But we’re gonna talk about it, and we’re gonna help you not to slip up again, and just show you lots of love.”
He also believes that this type of approach to parenting should be normal. According to him, parents are responsible for how they react to their children misbehaving. Showing anger and condemning your child can only drive them away. This prevents parents from building a strong bond with their child, and forces children to stay away from their parents, even when they need help. His daughter seconds this by saying that his parenting style makes her trust him more and she feel comfortable approaching him about anything that’s happening in her life.
Image credits: Vidal Balielo Jr. (not the actual photo)
Science says that “non-strict” or authoritative parenting is the most beneficial to children
From the description given by the dad, it seems that one could categorize his parenting style as authoritative. This style presents clear guidelines of how a child should behave and what’s expected from them. If the rules are broken, there are disciplinary actions and the reasoning behind them is clearly explained. There’s also constant communication with the parent as they navigate their expectations and goals together.
This type of parenting results in confident and responsible adults that know how to self-regulate. The feeling of independence shows children that they are capable of achieving great things themselves. This makes them believe in themselves more and they end up having high self-esteem. They also tend to have good academic achievements, have better social skills, and be more capable at problem-solving.
Unlike other parenting approaches to a household’s emotional climate, an authoritative style doesn’t have any negatives in terms of a lasting impact on children. Instead, the most significant drawback here is the fact that it is the most difficult approach to parenting. It requires collaboration and work from both sides. It can be especially demanding during the already challenging development periods.
The dad in the video learned this the hard way, saying the teenage years can be quite intense. His advice is to show love and stay consistent. “Give them a little room but let them know every day that you’re there, that you love them.”
All in all, it seems that this parent-child relationship is tight, and the love and trust that everyone involved is showing are helping it blossom. And that is, indeed, quite the parenting goal.
Image credits: Josh Willink (not the actual photo)
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