If you were lucky, you had a lovely childhood where things just made sense. Life seemed fair. Everyone was treated equally. Good behavior was encouraged and rewarded, and as long as you worked hard, respected others and tried your best, everything would just magically work out!

As adults, we’re well aware that that’s a very naïve way of looking at the world, but to avoid raising cynical, pessimistic children, we often allow little ones to view life through rose-colored glasses. “Eventually, they’ll figure out the truth for themselves,” we think. But unfortunately, even if someone is an adult when they receive a reality check, the harsh truths of life can be extremely challenging to accept. 

Reddit users have been opening up about the brutal realities of life that hit them the hardest, so we’ve gathered some of their most eye-opening and heart-breaking responses below. If you’re struggling with any of these ideas too, know that you’re not alone, pandas. Remember to upvote the pills that have been particularly hard for you to swallow as well, and keep reading to also find an interview with Louisa Davis, editor for The Mind’s Journal. Then if you’re interested in diving even deeper into this topic, you can find another Bored Panda article featuring a similar discussion right here!

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#1

That just because I was an abuse victim for 20 years it doesn’t mean that things are automatically going to start getting better without me trying. A winning lottery ticket, or my dream job, isn’t just going to fall into my lap – I’m not owed a good future just because I had a s**t past

Image credits: DyingCatastrophy

To gain some more insight on this topic, we reached out to the team at The Mind’s Journal, and Editor Louisa Davis was kind enough to have a conversation with us. First, we wanted to know what Louisa considers some of the hardest realities to accept and if she has personally struggled with any of them. “The harsh realities that I would consider hard to accept are: failure; you can’t rely on anyone; you can’t control everything in life; expectations lead to disappointment; no one can completely understand you; betrayal in a relationship,” she told Bored Panda.

“One of the realities that was particularly hard for me to come to terms with is – ‘Expectations’,” Louisa shared. “The pain of high expectations of others is very deep. Hoping for an outcome I desire, thinking about what others should or shouldn’t do, and then feeling overwhelmed when things don’t go as expected always undermined my relationships and happiness.”

#2

No matter what earth-shattering, soul-wrenching event has happened to *you*–the death of a loved one, a scary diagnosis–the rest of the world will keep moving even though yours has been rocked. Life goes on.

Image credits: ibettyou

#3

Cutting ties with toxic family member is necessary, it doesn’t matter if their blood you have to do what’s best for you

Image credits: Miznova97

We also asked Louisa why it’s so common for people to have a hard time accepting reality. “People find it hard because the truth is extremely uncomfortable, which is why most people live in denial,” she explained. “Also, people fear that accepting reality means accepting that their values or beliefs or their actions and decisions were wrong. Accepting mistakes makes one feel guilty, whereas self-pity and self-victimization offer comfort, while drifting you away from reality.”

#4

My girlfriend isn’t coming back.

I was 30, she was 27, she died. I had all these hopes and plans for a life together. It sounds ridiculous, but the realisation that she is dead and never coming back took me a long time to fully accept. I kept having dreams where she was alive, only to have to wake up and realise it was only a dream. I’m not superstitious, but I kept hoping she would come back in some form, even just for ten minutes, so we could talk.

Image credits: peat_reek

#5

You can’t be anything you want. You can be whatever your skill level, intellect and money will allow. So that means I am too poor to be president, too clumsy to be a trapeze artist and too number dumb to be an astronaut.

Image credits: NicolawsCatpernicus

Louisa also shared some advice for anyone out there who may be struggling coming to terms with harsh realities. “Please be open minded and learn to see things in life from a broader perspective,” she told Bored Panda. “Some more helpful tips are: take responsibility; develop high self-awareness; practice self-love; seek constructive criticism; pray daily; meditate daily; practice the law of attraction.”

Louisa also opened up about how praying has helped her accept some of life’s harsh truths. “I pray for wisdom and the power to take the right actions because I believe in the law of cause and effect,” she shared. “The mantra that helps me most is ‘I am responsible for everything that happens to me and everything that I attract in my life’. Aside from that, I am practicing the law of attraction to manifest what I want. Prayers and meditation have helped me connect with my higher purpose in life.”

#6

You can try your best with 100% effort and things still may not work out

#7

You can be do your best to be as nice and considerate of the feelings of everyone you meet, and still end up hurting people.

Not even from doing anything *wrong*.

Just from people being complicated.

Image credits: Werunos

Finally, Louisa added, “I deeply believe that spirituality is important to be able to accept and deal with the toxicity around us and the harsh realities of life. Being spiritual helps one experience positive emotions and take charge of their relationships, happiness, health, and overall well-being.”

If you’d like to hear more words of wisdom from the team at The Mind’s Journal, you can find their website right here and an article on this same topic right here!

#8

Some people are just c***s.

I used to be naïve and believed that people would generally try to do the right thing. Nope.

Now I’m a cynical f**k and it’s much better.

I’m not a bitter person – the opposite actually. It’s better to be sceptical than be overly trusting and get f****d over.

Image credits: GloryMacca

#9

Your pet won’t be around forever.

#10

Friendships come and go.

It’s a luxury to be friends with anyone for an extended period of time, let alone into adulthood.

Yeah, you get lucky with certain people who you’re still friends with, but then you get people who just couldn’t care less about you when you drift apart (as it will happen to just about anyone). It sucks, but that’s life.

Image credits: anon

#11

That it doesn’t matter how hard you work, you will have some a*****e manager with zero skills earning more than you.

#12

This is going to get buried, but: I wish someone had told me earlier that being good at something doesn’t mean it’ll make you happy. It took six years of theatrical carpentry and entertainment design for me to get this before I realized I wanted to go into the medical field.

#13

For me, personally, it was accepting that I would always be abnormal, due to having dwarfism. It will be a social barrier in life for many people I meet, it will no doubt impact how people perceive me, my personality and my abilities, and it is something that many people will find hard to get past, mentally. There will be things I am physically incapable of doing, and people will patronise me. I will always get unwanted attention on a daily basis, and will struggle romantically, due to people equating me with a child.

The reality of all these things hit me when I was about 12 years old, which was a lot to process. I got very angry and bitter about my lot in life, and it kind of dominated my teenage years.

But I *have* accepted it, and I’m pretty cool with my life now. I wouldn’t change it for the world. It made me who I am, and I love who I am. It was hard to come to terms with when I was young, definitely, but I feel so secure now, as a result. People tell me they envy that about me.

Image credits: Usidore_

#14

Even if you are truly sorry for what you have done, people do not have to accept your apology and sometimes you will never be forgiven for your actions.

#15

When people you love get dementia and waste away. You mourn them while they’re still alive

#16

My parents are getting older. No, that’s not it. They’re dying. Sure, we’re all getting closer to the day we die. But the decline in them is scary.

It’s hard enough as it is, but accepting that you’re next is something that I haven’t been able to do yet.

Image credits: swampjedi

#17

You can’t make someone love you.

Image credits: PM_ME_UR_CRUSHs_NAME

#18

There is a big portion of the world who hates me for who I am, but hating myself too doesn’t help anything.

Image credits: BladesQueen

#19

Sometimes, being an adult means sucking it up and doing a job you hate because the pay isn’t too bad and the benefits are pretty decent.

#20

It’s very difficult to come to terms with the fact you’re not as smart or cool as you thought you were. That you’re really nothing special. But once you accept that, it gets a little easier. I don’t know about you, but to me there’s something kinda liberating about not being anything special. You’re free to be your own person and do your own thing.

Image credits: SkyGuardianOfTheSky

#21

There isn’t someone out there for everyone. Some of us are just destined to be alone. Yay

#22

People aren’t against you. They are for themselves.

#23

There is no justice.

Sometime, people will be d***s, and everything will work out for them. You can generally teach someone a lesson (by kicking the c**p out of them), but only once, because you will probably go to jail for it.

Image credits: MegaDeox

#24

No matter what you do, Someone will *always* hate it.

I hated hearing this for the first time and it put it into perspective for me.

Image credits: ErazerHeadz

#25

Some people don’t want actual solutions, they just want to complain.

Edit: I’m all for a good round of aggravation-venting catharsis for some one-off frustration. I’m thinking more of repeat offenders with a very solvable problem they just aren’t willing fix (ex: 3 months of on-and-off complaining about a specific problem… offer to brain-trust some viable solutions… they reply something along the lines of ”it’s unsolvable” …future date, same topic, more complaining… offer simple, viable, and specific potential solutions you’ve thought of … they follow with essentially “no, that would never work” but offers no potential solution in its place…. repeat ad nauseam. ? I’m solution oriented. If you present a problem to me (and not specify that it’s just a vent session) then I’m gonna try to help you solve it so that I don’t have to see you suffer frustration, anger, sadness, or disappointment.

Image credits: Debb2402

#26

Just because someone loves you and you love them, doesn’t mean it’ll always work out.

#27

That everyone you love will die and you will always regret not spending enough time with them.

#28

The “what are you going to do about it?” Will always be more important than who’s right or wrong.

Image credits: Kukantiz

#29

I’m not going to win the lottery and I’m not going to magically become filthy rich.

Image credits: billyshairyballs

#30

Adults are not all knowing. Stupid kids sometimes become stupid adults. The worst kid in class in bed school might still become a doctor.

Your parents, your heros, your teachers- all just people. Usually doing the best that they can, even if it isn’t always enough.

Image credits: Elver86

#31

Other than a small group of people, no one gives a s**t about me.

Image credits: RaptureRising

#32

You can never really know someone. The closest friends and family can keep the darkest secrets. Trusting someone doesn’t mean that they are trustworthy.

#33

Life isn’t fair

We watch films, read books, listen to music where the good guys generally win or things sort themselves out for the better but in reality this rarely happens.

On the plus side, once you accept this as a truth it makes it easier to accept than always trying to force the right outcome

Image credits: el_dude_brother2

#34

People will care about you as long as you’re useful or convenient for them. After that, you’re on your own.

Image credits: anon

#35

Love is not enough. A relationship dying because of things external to love, is such a horrible thing to embrace, given that we are taught love conquers all.

It can barely conquer a 2hr drive.

Image credits: VapidNonsense

#36

Sometimes you just need to let dreams go and accept that your life is going a different direction.

#37

That life happens. After a 400 dollar electric bill and paying to fix a sink both within 3 days it finally dawned on me that this s**t happens. Life doesn’t give you a free pass just because you are struggling.

#38

Not everyone will agree with me on everything, my opinion is not always fact, and sometimes compromise is necessary

#39

No matter how much you’re there for someone if they decide not to be there for you there’s nothing you can do about it. People will take advantage of you if you let them, you can’t make someone be who you want them to be

#40

Outside of a handful of really close friends and some family, nobody really, truly gives a f**k about me.

If I died tomorrow, people would come to my funeral and act sad. Some of them would actually be sad. But most of them would go home and move on with life and barely think about me ever again.

I’m not upset by this…that’s just the way it is. It’s the way it is for pretty much everyone.

#41

That clinics and hospitals exist to make money. Helping people get better is secondary.

#42

I cannot depend on long-term remission, because it simply does not reliably exist for treatment-resistant depression, I’ve never had remission, and I’m a lot more treatment-resistant than the average.

That means if I want to get anything done, I have to learn to function how I am and not wait for a day when I’m better. There isn’t a better. It doesn’t matter who I am when I’m not depressed, because “not depressed” is not an option and it very well might never be an option.

I know that must sound really depression, but it was actually a really important realization. I can’t control whether or not I’m miserable, or do anything I’m not already doing; but if I’m going to be sick then I may as well do something instead of lie in bed all day.

Image credits: anon

#43

Some people are doomed to make the same mistakes over and over again, and there’s nothing you can do to stop them.

#44

Most people only want to associate with you if it benefits them.

Image credits: wwantid7

#45

My soon to be ex wife is a lying, cheating, narcissist. I literally had two years of depression including a suicide attempt. Once I figured out that she didn’t care about anyone but herself, my mental health improved quickly.

#46

Sometimes you have to let people get away with being bad. Policing the world takes an awful lot of time, time you might not have to spare.

#47

That for a lot of people, facts, logic and objective truth are far less important than the first emotional response they had to the situation.

#48

That there’s no break. You may go on a vacation, but you’re always working to keep your life from automatically failing making sure you always have all necessities.

You can’t just have a summer in which you worry about nothing. You’d be lucky to have a winter “break”, but even then you still have to work at life, especially if you have people to care for.

You can’t just go away and retire to your room for a week if you’re feeling overwhelmed as it will just get worse and worse.

However, this responsibility is cut in half (hopefully) if you have a great partner to do it with (which I am very lucky to have).

Image credits: MrsCompootahScience

#49

Sometimes you won’t get closure. And your mind will f**k with you for months because you don’t have that golden answer of why your old friends abandoned you because they won’t even respond. I had a hard time accepting that and I still do. Because I feel like the bad guy when deep down I know I’m not the only one that should be sorry, especially when they knew I was battling a lot of mental issues. It still hurts, it still sucks, but I have learned that life may never give you answers and you just have to accept that and let go.

#50

‘Life isn’t fair’ is something that people who are in a position to make life more fair love to say.

#51

Harshest thing to realize in life is that you can’t trust anyone. Not even family, they are the ones that can and will hurt you the most if given the opportunity.

#52

Family doesn’t mean much to people. As I get older, I think about the large family I had as a kid and realize my children won’t have that.

#53

That I’m gonna die, that took a while

Image credits: Morailiette

#54

People can be really s****y.

#55

My genetic disease isn’t going away

#56

That there are not hot singles in my area begging to f**k

#57

Life goes on, with or without me.

If I run from my problems, try to act like everything’s just gonna stay mostly the same, assume everything will work out in the end somehow, or just sit on my lazy butt rather than proactively doing literally anything constructive, I’m gonna get behind and I’m gonna get behind hard.

Time doesn’t care about slowing down for me, so it’s my job to keep up with Time.

#58

There is no rhyme, reason or pattern to how you will react to tragedies that happen to you in your life. There is no howto book, song, journey or poem you can read to guide you from the depression and emptiness you feel after said tragedy to being and feeling normal again. It’s going to hurt for a while, and for some it will hurt even longer. Time might actually heal many of your wounds and you can be going about your day just fine, and even then something might trigger you and all those feelings will come rushing in again.

Most of us have already felt a loss that makes you feel like this, and almost everyone who reads this will one day feel it too. There isn’t anything you can do to prepare for it, no should you really. Just know that someday something might happens that completely cripples you emotionally, stops your life in its tracks, makes things you previously enjoyed meaningless. Give your heart some time to heal. It will pass, but you must deal with it while its still there. The reason for the pain is so that you can find your way to strength.

#59

I’ll never know everything. Sometimes people won’t give me the satisfaction of informing me, either.

#60

It doesn’t matter what you *want* to do, or what you think you’d be good at. There are literally millions of people in line in front of you, who are better at it than you’ll ever be, and the people who control access to that thing have absolutely zero reason to ever give it to *you*.

#61

My mom will never forgive me for coming out as gay

Image credits: Justinbthomas17

#62

Nothing is certain, and life is generally meaningless

#63

I only seem to matter to others when I have money

Image credits: anon

#64

Adults are faking that they know anything.

#65

Nobody cares about you as much as you do

Marriage is not only love, you have to run/maintain it like a business.

Trust someone, but only you can help yourself in the end.

In the end, it’s all about money & power (for both good and bad intention).

Image credits: WickedBaby

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