The debate over having or not having kids has raged for a long time, but regardless of where one stands, there is a growing child-free movement. But one netizen was curious to hear about the less common arguments for people choosing to not have children, so they asked the internet “What is your pettiest reason for not wanting kids?” 

From comical to sincere, people online share their thoughts. So get comfortable as you scroll through, be sure to upvote your favorite posts and, if you are so inclined, share your thoughts in the comments section below. 

#1

I’m not done being a kid myself. Making up for lost time during my childhood now.

Image credits: nsfwnoise

#2

My cat would hate it if she had to share me

Image credits: Jo_Peri

#3

Sleeping in/going to bed late

Image credits: nolechica

#4

I hate children’s tv shows. Loud, high pitched, etc etc. If something in my home is loud it better f*****g be deathcore.

Image credits: M3tal_Shadowhunter

#5

I like delicate, pretty things. Children damage delicate, pretty things.

Image credits: strongmanass

#6

I take pride in proving wrong every one that said I’d change my mind 

Image credits: drunkenAnomaly

#7

I want the option of leaving whenever I need to. I’m happy where I’m at, but I always want to be able to travel or just straight up move without worrying abt a child’s schedule. I would van life, but a kid deserves space and I don’t want to be one of those vanlife influencers who think a curtain is a wall.

Image credits: LukasHughes

#8

I enjoy my quiet peace and copious amounts of sleep. Kids would ruin both.

Image credits: Fierywitchburn333

#9

I like to be alone.

Image credits: CandyCaneCrossbow

#10

Not having to worry about school districts or being close to schools when moving or relocating.

Image credits: merRedditor

#11

They don’t belong in breweries. They also smell worse than dogsh*t.

Image credits: hedge_ball

#12

Might be cruel but every time my sister complains about how rowdy her kids get, I think ‘never going to be me’.

Image credits: Medysus

#13

I don’t want to share my snacks.

Image credits: browsergirl33

#14

I like money, silence and a tidy house.

Image credits: BinaryMonochrome

#15

sticky fingers, why are they so f*****g sticky!

Image credits: hardwiredtostaymad

#16

Not having to answer “why?” even once per day to anyf*ckingone

Image credits: lightninghazard

#17

I absolutely loathe children songs. I actually cannot even describe you the primal anger I feel every time I hear something like baby shark.

Image credits: FutureBachelorAMA

#18

Fashion is my pettiest reason as to why I’m childfree bc I love dressing up and doing my makeup. I would HATE to give it up due to the lack of time and energy because all of it would go to raising kids and my body would be ruined so no more figure hugging clothes/pretty dresses etc. Forget about wearing heels as you can’t run to catch your kid in them or you’ll snap your ankle.? I’m a huge fashionista I couldn’t see myself not being one!!??

Image credits: BusinessPitch5154

#19

My mil wants me to

Image credits: NoshameNoLies

#20

F**k the patriarchy is my pettiest reason, but I don’t really have a reason I’m just not interested – the fact that there’s a lot of advantages to that lifestyle is just a great bonus

Image credits: tawny-she-wolf

#21

I’m self-centred. I don’t like having to live my life around others needs. Making myself happy is my primary goal in life. I live for me. I view my purpose in this life as being able to cater to my every need. I want to be able pursue whatever I like, whenever I like, however I like with no restrictions. To be a parent means you need to be selfless for decades. That sounds like pure hell!

I’m not cold or evil, and people have always come to me for advice/support and find me dependable, but I know if I had to be a parent, I’d resent my kids so much, and no child deserves a parent like that.

Image credits: hellasweetnutella

#22

I want to spend my money on _my_ games and books, not on _child’s_ toys and books.

Image credits: raccoonomnom

#23

I am dual citizen and have two e-passports, I zip through lines. I do not want to wait in long a*s passport controls with anything under 18 (or 12).

Image credits: spelling_hippo

#24

I love my body and don’t want to destroy it.

Image credits: mindlessarachnide

#25

Sleeping in and making myself pancakes… every damn day if I feels like it

Image credits: ChucksSeedAndFeed

#26

To prove my mom wrong from that time when I was 10 and she told me—after [foolishly?] telling her I didn’t want to have children when I grew up: “but…having children is the MOST IMPORTANT thing I woman can do with her life!”

I have done some seriously cool s**t with my life since then that did not in any way involve having a child.

Image credits: Hokuopio

#27

I didn’t want to gain weight. I’ve had body image issues since middle school. 4 years ago, I lost weight and kept it off and I’ve been much more confident since. I don’t want to lose that.

Image credits: Covert-Wordsmith

#28

I like to sleep. And not having a stretched out body with more marks than I have now.

Image credits: galacticmin

#29

I want to sleep in on christmas

#30

So that whenever anything bad happens in my life, I can say ‘at least I don’t have kids.’ Every morning I wake up happy to not have kids.

Also kids’ music sucks.

#31

I like not hearing screeching, banging, and thunderous stomping inside my own home. I like having a beautiful garden with lots of plants. It’s nice when the plants don’t get trampled or otherwise destroyed.

#32

I love my freedom. I want to go out one evening on the whim? I can just do it. I can travel during term time, sleep in, walk around the house in just my knickers and a t-shirt lol

#33

Everyone hates the sound of children screaming and crying but I hate the sound of them *playing*

Children’s laughter is like nails on a chalkboard. I’d be a horrible parent.

#34

i don’t want my vagina damaged

#35

I have a lot of petite friends who have bounced back easily from pregnancy bc they had kids young and I’ve always struggled with the “works out but doesn’t say no to tacos” physique. However, I’ve always been athletic and strong, disciplined with working out and cooking at home. I can’t wait to see their metabolisms finally collapse from no healthy routines whatsoever and eating whatever fast foods their kids eat.

#36

It hurts.

I don’t want to ruin my body.

I HATE bodily fluids (snot/pee/vomit/s**t), I do not want any of that disgusting mess near me (that includes pet’s fluids too).

#37

I wouldn’t call it petty but it’s also the same reason why I have never understood the urge to be in a relationship: I don’t want to go by someone else’s schedule. I have OCD and the idea of having to change things around makes me physically ill.

A petty reason? Hmmmm…. I simply think life would be so much more enjoyable if we had less of a population. Don’t want people to die, but I sure do hope that less people are born.

But then I love animals and my life is always astronomically better when I have an animal to take care of (which means changing schedules), so maybe the reason is just that I really do not get any positive results from people. Like I love my family, but why the hell would I want to continue it? I’m sure my dad’s batch of secret children that he’s hidden all around the country will continue my blood line just fine. I don’t feel the need for human interaction, and I sure as hell don’t need a kid that actively NEEDS my attention. Having friends is already too much of a burden on my life I can’t imagine having a kid jesus christ.

Love my half-brothers more than anything. I’m over 10 years older than then so it’s not like I grew up with them or anything. I seriously adore them, and when I’m with them I can understand the love that parents have for children, but I seriously can’t imagine ever wanting or having my own. Like why not just get a dog? They’re cuter, better behaved,and less expensive.

#38

Babies are ugly.

I struggle managing my weight and I don’t want to gain it from getting pregnant.

I like to sleep

I like spending my money on myself.

#39

The thought of sticky windows inside my Audi S5 makes me sad.

#40

Babies are cute on the other hand my reasons to not have kids are cultural indifferences, generational trauma, spankings, groundings and my autism. I don’t want my future offspring to suffer the same way I did.

I like to sleep in, work, watch movies, go on road trips and I’m actually behind on adulting at 31.

#41

Because I like my afternoon naps uninterrupted and free weekends.

Also, not giving my homophobic fundie religious Narc dad any grandkids to abuse with threats of damnation and fear of demons wanting to destroy them for being born “sinners” is high up on my list also.

Image credits: Zealousideal-Wing524

#42

I’m a maximalist. I’m sure as hell not trusting my trinkets around sticky, clumsy hands.

Image credits: sharknamedgoose

#43

The bloodline dies with me, and I am not giving my bio. mother the satisfaction of spreading her genetics through the gene pool. Also, maintaining my anti-social life and being able to keep up with my Art hobby <3

#44

The idea of growing something inside my belly sounds too much like Alien the movie and feels so animal world.

#45

Loud noises hurt my ears.

#46

I have an extensive collection of stuffed animals, and I don’t want to share them with anyone

#47

Not having to pick up your kid after school. Looks like nightmare to deal with.

#48

I don’t want my sleep interrupted. I’m not getting up.

#49

I have a nice body and I’m not ruining it for anyone

#50

They’re stinky.

#51

Mine is exactly the same as yours but not MIL, my own mother.

#52

It’s something of an official “F U” to the religious upbringing I had telling me the ultimate purpose for uterus bearers like myself was becoming a STAH broodmare

#53

They may be born dumb as rocks. So… ?‍♀️

#54

Among hundreds of other reasons, I want to avoid the negative changes that would happen to my body. The reality is that my BDD simply cannot handle a postpartum body

#55

Getting out of my bed to tend to someone else sounds like a cruel punishment to me. ?

#56

I hate their high-pitched voices. They sound like prey animals.

#57

I hate colorful s**t. I’m a neutrals / monochrome type of girl. I ain’t having rainbow vomit in my house with ugly cartoon characters.

Petty af. ?

#58

I’m too exhausted from going to vocational school from 8 a.m. to 3.30 p.m. already and I have two cats to take care of. Hell no. Another reason for me is that kids so often mistreat/are cruel to pets and animals just because they don’t know any better. Like, I’ve seen a young girl pick up a cat only to drop her to the floor once she was done petting her and she pet her way too harshly. (That still brings me to tears, seriously!) F**k no, no little a*****e sh*theads are gonna touch my Sphynx sisters. If a kid dropped one of my Sphynxes like that, I swear to the devil, I’d verbally stomp that little s**t into the ground.
Source: boredpanda.com