The phrase “your body, your choice” doesn’t only apply in the context of women’s reproductive rights. We are the owners of our bodies, so that should automatically mean that how we style it is our and our business only. Yet, sometimes people who are close to us might feel uncomfortable with our choices.
The hero of this story got flak from his girlfriend for getting an ankle tattoo without telling her. The Redditor Dingoatemycat69420 asked other netizens whether he was the jerk in this situation. The Internet deliberated and delivered a pretty unanimous opinion. You can find the entire story below!
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Body ink is a topic of contention – some people like it, others are against it
Image credits: Lucas Lenzi (not the actual photo)
This man decided to get a tattoo, but his girlfriend’s reaction was not what he had anticipated
Image source: Dingoatemycat69420
Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)
Tattoos are taboo for some people since there’s still a stigma around them
Academic researchers Kristin A. Broussard and Helen C. Harton published a study in 2017 titled “Tattoo or taboo? Tattoo stigma and negative attitudes toward tattooed individuals.” While doing the research, they observed that people tend to perceive tattooed individuals negatively.
The academics did two studies, in fact. The participants in the first one were college students, and community members in the second. Their observations were that tattooed targets “were rated more negatively on other character attributes than the same target images with the tattoos removed.”
The upside is that people deemed tattooed persons “as stronger and more independent” than non-tattooed persons, especially women. Other research from 2004 also reiterates this finding: society sees tattooed women as less passive and more powerful. Broussard and Harton conclude that despite their popularity, tattoos and tattooed people remain stigmatized.
Tattoos are associated with deviance, attention-seeking and recklessness
In many people’s minds, body art is still associated with prison, gangs, crime and drug addicts. Or, in other words – deviance. Clinical psychologist Vinita Mehta, Ph.D. writes for Psychology Today that some of these stereotypes of tattooed people include “lower levels of inhibition, competence, and sociability, and higher levels of promiscuity.”
The actual reasons why people get tattoos are rarely that dark. Psychologist Luzelle Naudé of the University of the Free State in South Africa interviewed college seniors about why they got a tattoo. 25% of the participants said they got a tattoo because it had a personal meaning. 12% viewed it as an expression of their personality.
However, Naudé’s study also has insights about why some people are against tattoos. 11% of the participants in her interviews said it clashes with their religious views. “I am a religious person so my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. I’d like to keep clean,” one college senior commented.
Other reasons include the fact that tattoos are permanent and are painful to get. Those who viewed tattoos negatively referred to them as “ugly, trashy, messy, cheap and filthy.”
And they described tattooed people accordingly: “evil, satanic, dangerous, rebellious, ungodly, stupid, reckless, unprofessional, weird, not-Christian, associated with criminality, cruel, showoffs, outcasts, anti-social, bereft of morals, and defiant of society.”
Should a partner have a say in a person getting a tattoo?
Perhaps that was the issue for the girlfriend in this story. Tattoo Thrive suggests that people might look at tattooed persons as “weirdos” because that’s the accepted perception in their social circles. If the girlfriend’s family and friends think tattoos are unattractive, she’s bound to have a similar opinion.
LCS and MGCP certified life coach Katrin Berndt has made videos about this topic on her YouTube channel. She talks about how tattoos can be a huge part of a person’s identity. “I’m not going to spend my life with a person who tries to force their ideals on me of how they think I am supposed to look,” she says.
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She rebuts the argument with the example of if we were to replace tattoos with music. It goes like this: you wouldn’t be with someone if they didn’t like the style of music you like. “Tattoos are who I am and music is what I like,” she explains.
The editor of Things & Ink Rosalie Hurr shares her experience as well. “Should your partner have a say in your subject choices for tattoos and should they influence your decision on the body area which you choose to place the tattoo? As the owner of my body, I would say no.”
At the same time, she sympathizes with partners who might be against it. Her arguments are that the partners might have to look at the body art for quite a long time. “They are the ones who will view your body especially as age affects your tattooed artwork, and they are the ones which we expect to love us as we grow old.”
The OP explained why he asked for his parents’ permission
Commenters delivered their verdict – NTA
The post “Turns Out It’s A Big Deal”: Guy About To Lose His Girlfriend Over New Tattoo first appeared on Bored Panda.
Source: boredpanda.com