“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet.” While that was a kind sentiment for Romeo to express about Juliet, I’m not quite sure he would have felt the same way if her name was Moronica or Sh’miracle…
One curious Reddit user recently asked others to share the dumbest names they have ever heard parents give their children, and people did not disappoint in the responses. Below, you’ll find a wide variety of names that prove that not everyone should become a parent, so enjoy scrolling through and counting your blessings if you have a common name!
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Felonie. I’ve been downvoted a lot on Reddit for sharing this because people never believe it’s a real name someone would give a kid. But it is lol
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I knew triplets named Cinnamon, Rosemary, and Paprika. People called them “the Spice Girls.”
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To learn more about how this conversation started in the first place, we reached out to Reddit user Corollo_Bro_91, who posed the question, “What is the dumbest name you’ve ever heard someone give their child?” Lucky for us, he was happy to have a chat with Bored Panda.
“I decided to ask the question after hearing about some of the silly names my mother was telling me about that she heard from clients at her job,” he shared. “My mother took a claim from a client who named her son and daughter King and Queen Majesty.” But that’s not the only silly name the OP has heard before. “My girlfriend told me her boss just had a baby and is going to name it Iam Magic,” he added.
I do contract-based IT work. Implementation when hospitals buy each other out, stuff like that. Last week I was working with an office manager named MORONICA.
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In my career working at Public Schools I’ve had two separate children named Tequila Mockingbird. Absolutely unrelated, across the state from each other, but it’s weird that it happened twice.
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As far as where these names come from, Corollo_Bro_91 says, “I think parents name their kids silly things because they want them to have ‘unique’ names to be different, but in the end, they just come across as dumb.”
We also asked the OP what he advises parents think about before naming their children. “I think parents need to consider how naming their child could affect their social or school life. I’ve known some people who were bullied horrendously at school for having strange names,” he shared.
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Recently saw the program from a relatives preschool graduation ceremony, all of the children’s names were listed. There was a child named Person.
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Kerosene. And she would always add “like the gas”. Mom was young and goth.
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And when it comes to what Corollo_Bro_91 thought about the replies to his post, he told Bored Panda, “Some of the answers I got were extremely saddening. I really hope those kids can get through childhood without being made fun of.”
When my child was born, the people in the room next to us named their kid Pikachu.
You read that right.
After the Pokemon.
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Any time I see a young girl named Nevaeh, I immediately assume she’s the unintended product of a very young single mom barely making ends meet.
North, Saint, Chicago, Psalm.
There was a woman who used to cut my hair named Secretia….like secretion.
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Galaxy Kitchen…..seriously it’s their daughter’s name.
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Wife worked in a bank. Had a regular customer named Dextrose. Always wondered if he had siblings Sucrose and Fructose.
Slinky…the parents both loved slinky toys, could do all kinds of things with them, so that’s what they named their little girl. It was her real name, my sister was her teacher. There should be a law against stupid parents like this.
My partner is a midwife, she once looked after a couple who were intending to call their daughter “Urethra” – they didn’t know what it meant and just “liked how it sounds”.
She had to politely, professionally, give them a quick anatomy lesson.
My wife is a teacher and she has siblings in class named Royalty and Majesty.
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I knew a pair of twin boys in elementary school named Freedom and Friendship.
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A motorcycle enthusiast named his son Harley, because that made him Harley, David’s son.
A woman at my old bank was named Coral Reef. She seemed fine with it but what were her parents thinking.
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Tyranny. The mother thought she had made it up. Said it sounded pretty. I think she spelled it Tiranni.
Jenna is not so bad, until your last name is Side.
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My mom used to work in a day care. One of the kids’ was named Surprise Joyous Knight.
Yes, this is true, Mrs. Knight named her kid Surprise Joyous.
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Lice. Pronounced “lih-say.”
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I used to work in banking, and I kid you not, I helped a woman named “Chinesegirl”
She was not, in fact, Chinese.
So checking ID, I hear the girls friends calling her Olivia. It was not spelt Olivia. It was spelt Ahliviyah. Why do this to people. You make them waste so much of their lives having to spell their names for people when it could have been a spelling everyone knows!
There is a dude in the Air Force named Dearly Beloved. S**t you not.
Dracula. The parents were young meth heads and thankfully the nurses said Drake sounds much better and it’s a short version of Dracula after the boy was born.
Drake is alive and well, now 18 years old, parents quit the meth years ago, kinda still a messed up family.
There was a tv show a couple years ago and the midwife was desperately trying to convince the about-to-be parents to not name their child Syphilis.
I knew a Christian family once who named their first two kids Blessed and Saved, then the rest had normal names.
Alucard. It’s “Dracula” backwards. No, I didn’t ask, but they were quick to tell me.
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Handsome Stranger. . . Seriously. The kids legal first name was Handsome Stranger. He was named after his father.
I worked in labor and delivery. We had a pair of stoners who couldn’t decide between Scott or Matthew, so they just merged the two.
Honestly, it’s just one of many dumb ones I encountered.
I was grading state tests in nyc and graded an 8th grader who’s name was Daddy Yankee.
I work at a civil war site. One of the Confederate generals was named States Rights Gist. That was his actual name. States Rights.
I taught ESL in China. We had a little girl whose American name was Hamburger, and a pair of Twins named Copy and Paste. To be clear, they had normal Chinese names, but these American names also appeared on their passports. Their American names were chosen because their parents like how they sounded.
I rode the bus in high school with boy/girl twins named Clark and Candy Barr. On the same bus were four sisters: Mary Ann, Mary Catherine, Mary Patricia, and Mary Louise.
Edit to add: this was told to me by an ex-brother-in-law, who worked in a hospital. He overheard a woman chasing her child down the hallway, saying “Spatula! I have two words for you: Be have!”
It was pronounced “bee hāve”, as if behave were two words.
I went to gradeschool with siblings named America, Liberty, and Glory. As I’m sure anyone could guess—yes, I live in the Midwest.
I was entering in the name of a newborn for a customer, when looking at the list of all the other children, I saw one child with a first name of Boy. I had to look twice, but sure enough, the child’s first name was Boy. ?
My uncle went to school with a Rusty Mustard.
I work in a elementary school. Tesla, Success, Prosperity and Gospel (not related).
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Coworker couldn’t decide between Sarah and Cassandra so they named the baby Casarah.
Also worked with a girl named Kahlua.
I once met a woman who named her sons Doral and Viceroy. I asked her, “like the cigarettes?” She said, “yes, those were my daddy’s favorite smokes.”
Shy Ann; Tarantula.
“Moon unit” seems pretty out there.
Trivia for a girl. Nice girl. Terrible name.
I knew two kids named Wizdom and Knowledge.
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Friend of a friend named his kids Indica and Sativa.
Shakalakah… my mom taught her back in like the 1st grade…. Then I had an ex drill instructor who was one of my coaches and they named their first son Sergeant Major… I f*****g cried for that boy
My brother played on a basketball team with a kid named Braxton Hicks. I wish I was joking ?
I knew a guy in elementary school named Piano.
I used to work in daycares and I’ve seen so many. The 2 that stand out are Master and Beaujanerous.
My bff from high school (who is a huge hippie) named her girl tyger jellybean Jardine.
Riot…..should look good on the resume..
A friend worked in medical records in a hospital and a couple named their daughter Velveeta Cheese Scott.
Jessa Duggar named her first kid Spurgeon (sic).
I know of a pair of twins in the Marshall Islands named “Rocket Brain” and “Lindborg Brain” Also another kid named “Cinderella Silk”.
Quetzalcoatl after the Mayan snake god. He said his friends called him Q. Twin boys in elementary school named Knox and Knoll. Overhead someone named their daughter Willow because the dad caught a salmon at Willow beach the day before her birth.
Anyone remember Picabo Street?
I work as a pizza driver and I have a regular named LaSonya.
Venison. (Possibly spelled differently since I neglected to ask the woman screaming “Get over here Venison!” in a Big Lots.)
Messiah. But spelled Ma’Syah.
I met a kid named Nimrod once. I felt so bad for him.
One of the worst that comes to mind in recent times.
The person’s name was, honest to god, Jizzelle.
Orange. It’s not a translation or a nickname, but after the fruit itself. People keep thinking his name is George and he’s just too young to pronounce it correctly but nope, his parents got their inspiration from the produce department.
My first year of teaching I had a student with the last name Mahal. First name? Taj. Correct. Taj Mahal.
Cuthbert… I mean, who the f**k is called Cuthbert anymore?
Girl I know named her kid Troxel.
My dad told me once he interviewed a lady named Tinyneesha. Thought he was f*****g with me until I saw her working at food-4-less several months later.
Girl I was in HS with named Sparkle. Kid in my daughter’s kindergarten class was named Legend.
my sister works as an obstetrician in Switzerland.
Before moving abroad, she did an internship here in Italy, where we were both born.
A couple was undecided wether naming their son “Domenico” or “Antonio”. In the end, they decided to call him “Domenicantonio”.
I grew up with a boy whose name was Tater Pitts.
Stetson. Guess we’ve just resorted to naming kids after clothes.
I knew a girl who’s first name was Summer and her last name was Summer.
I was at an amusement park the other day and heard a mother calling for her daughter… J’precious… or maybe Japrecious… I don’t know the specifics, but that is what I heard.
I heard someone scream “ TOWNSLEE GET OVER HERE!!! “ as I was sitting down eating at universal studios in Orlando florida in the summer of 2021.
Worst names of people I know or their kids’ names-Sparkle, Princess, Justus.
I know a girl who named her son “Cash”.
I had twins in my first year of teaching and they were Alizé and Hennessy. Those poor kids!
Like actual animated characters:
Good luck to those kids.
Wayne Train. If you’re out there Wayne, I think of you often.
Hold my beer! In Russia, they once tried to register the name “BOTCH rVF 260602” (A Human Biological Object of the Voronin-Frolov family, born on June 26, 2002)
Aragon. She didn’t even spell it right.
Theres this kid named “LA World” at my job.
Chevelle and wouldn’t you believe it they got made fun of. Honorable mention Comfort.
I was on a beach in Cyprus when I heard a mother call out to her kid in a think northern accent “Mozart, nooo” who’d call their kid Mozart ?