Finding out you’re pregnant is a life-changing moment. Suddenly, the entire world shifts, and your top priority is this tiny little bun in the oven. Despite how exciting it is to announce a pregnancy, it’s usually wise to wait a few months before telling anyone, just in case. But the thing about pregnancy is that, even if you never seem to find the right time to tell your loved ones, the truth will come out eventually.
That’s exactly what happened to one woman, who managed to hide her pregnancy for 8 months, until attending her sister-in-law’s baby shower. She later detailed the entire saga on the “Am I the Jerk?” subreddit, which you’ll find below.
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Many expecting moms are thrilled to share the big news after finding out they’re pregnant
Image credits: Grey_Coast_Media (not the actual photo)
But this woman managed to keep it a secret for 8 months, without telling anyone until she absolutely had to
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)
Image credits: HelloCheese12
The thing about pregnancy is that you can’t keep it a secret forever
The moment a woman finds out she’s pregnant is a life-changing experience. Suddenly, she is aware of this tiny being growing inside of her that, within 9 months, will be an actual, human baby. No matter what she has to go through during the following months, from hormones to swelling to morning sickness to a plethora of changes in her body, it’ll all be worth it when she finally gets to hold that little bundle of joy in her arms. But despite how exciting it is to find out you’re carrying a tiny, little person, most women are advised not to tell anyone until the end of the first trimester, or around week 13 of the pregnancy. Of course, they should let their partner know, and perhaps a close friend or family member. But unfortunately, you can never predict the future, and sometimes it’s best to wait to make the announcement.
According to Healthline, between 10-25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, and about 80% of those miscarriages occur during the first trimester. So it is wise for expecting parents not to tell too many people about the pregnancy, just in case they end up having to cope with the heartbreak of a miscarriage. Considering this particular woman’s history on Reddit, noting that she had lost a baby once before, it is understandable to be hesitant not to reveal too much at once.
While it’s often recommended not to tell anyone for the first trimester, there’s usually a huge announcement to follow
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Many couples also choose to wait at least until they’ve been to their first prenatal visit to announce a pregnancy. The later they wait, the more information they can share, perhaps revealing the sex of the child and showing photos from an ultrasound letting others know that the baby is healthy. Plus, once the cat is out of the bag, everything might change in the expecting parents’ lives. Their family members might constantly be checking in on them, and colleagues or friends might treat them differently. In some ways, this might be nice, if friends and family members go out of their way to be more helpful. But it can also be frustrating to have everyone carefully monitoring your activity and diet and inserting their opinions of what pregnant women should and shouldn’t be doing.
There are cons of waiting to make the announcement, however. As this woman learned, you can’t keep a pregnancy secret forever. So by waiting too long, she forfeited the chance to announce the baby on her own terms. It can also be challenging to deal with sickness, hormones, a changing body, etc. all alone. It can feel isolating to be unable to share the exciting moments, such as finding out the baby’s sex or hearing its heartbeat for the first time, with your loved ones. Depending on the mother’s profession and lifestyle, she may also be expected to take on tasks or live in a way that is not conducive to pregnancy.
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It is also important for employers to know eventually that an employee is pregnant, so arrangements can be made for maternity leave. In the United States, for example, if a mother desires to take FMLA leave, which guarantees 12 weeks’ unpaid, job-protected time off, she is required to inform her employer as soon as it is “possible and practical to do so”. There are no exact timelines mandated, but waiting until the last minute might cause challenges, or at least hiccups, in the process.
But by keeping this secret from her family for too long, this woman forfeited the chance to tell them on her own terms
Image credits: Leah Kelley
And while some women are not thrilled about notifying their employers of their little bun in the oven, it’s important to note that there are laws in place to prevent expecting mothers from discrimination, so it should be fine to let them know. “The Pregnancy Discrimination Act (PDA) specifically says that your employer [assuming you work for a company with 15 or more employees] cannot discriminate against you because of your pregnancy, and also that if you have a pregnancy-related medical limitation affecting your ability to do your job, they have to treat you the same way they would any other temporarily disabled employee,” Kameron Dawson, staff attorney at workers’ advocacy nonprofit A Better Balance, told Well and Good.
“That means, if you do need time off to recover from childbirth, or if you do need an accommodation in the workplace, like an adjusted work schedule or a change in job responsibilities, that if your job is providing that for other workers who have a medical condition, they have to do the same for you,” she added.
Responses to this particular story on Reddit have been mixed, but we would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below, pandas. Would you have informed your family about your pregnancy sooner? And would you have skipped attending the baby shower altogether? Feel free to continue the conversation below, and then if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article discussing baby shower drama, look no further than right here.
Readers have had mixed opinions on the situation, with some telling the expecting mother that she should have made better choices
Other readers were conflicted about who was in the wrong
And some defended the mom, assuring her that she was not obligated to reveal her pregnancy earlier than she wanted to
The post Woman Hides Her Pregnancy For 8 Months, Family Drama Ensues When The Secret Comes Out At Her SIL’s Baby Shower first appeared on Bored Panda.
Source: boredpanda.com