Acting like a “lady”, smiling at strangers while walking down the street, looking like you just stepped out of a magazine cover — these are just a few things society assumes women want to do every day. Of course, it would be wrong to say that expectations for women haven’t changed in recent years. They certainly have, and for the better. But there’s still plenty of room for improvement.

Rubbergloves44 asked women of Reddit to share some of the outdated things they are expected to live up to, and they delivered. More than a thousand comments flooded the thread with subtle and not-so-subtle ways people set ridiculous presumptions about female behavior.

Whether it’s believing all women want children or need to be devoted to their lousy husbands, Bored Panda has selected some of the best answers from the thread. Upvote our favorites as you go, and let us know in the comments the outdated beliefs you personally think need to change right away.

#1

Automatically assuming all women enjoy, want and will have children.

Image credits: Connie_Damico

#2

Being devoted to shi**y husbands

Image credits: happysmize

#3

Providing free emotional labor.

Image credits: tc88

#4

Taking care of a husband like he is an overgrown toddler incapable of doing anything for himself

Image credits: Stormallthetime

#5

Dressing for men. I see many people tell women that they should not dye or cut their hair, not get tattoos, or wear certain fashion because it is unappealing to men. However, a lot of women nowadays (like me) dress for themselves and not for male pleasure.

Image credits: BennaJoJenna

#6

That women should do all the cooking and cleaning.

Image credits: m0rbidowl

#7

We are the emotional ones

Image credits: christine-fights

#8

It’s mind blowing how many guys expect you to be a free therapist to them. Like, uh, I didn’t sign up for this.

Image credits: m0rbidowl

#9

We’re always competing with each other

Image credits: christine-fights

#10

Having to defy the normal process of ageing and that ageing somehow diminishes our worth.

Image credits: lastseenhitchhiking

#11

Being docile and passive. We’re expected to take so much c**p on a daily basis without complaining. Sexual harassment? it’s just a compliment. Sexual assault? you had it coming. do you really want to ruin his life? Periods or any type of pain/illness? it’s not that bad. The amount of mental labor we’re expected to do is exhausting, but we have to do it or nothing would get done. And then men get offended and call us names when we assert ourselves or express any emotion other than happiness. Our boundaries are constantly trampled and we’re supposed to just take it with a smile. It’s so frustrating!

Image credits: HRPunsNStuff

#12

That they need to wear makeup to look presentable — think a professional setting, a lot of people have the notion that it is lazy for a woman to not have ANY makeup on.

Now I wear makeup sometimes and sometimes I don’t, I just think it’s an outdated expecting that half of the population has never had.

Image credits: heyitsamess

#13

Having to smile and accommodate other people’s awkward and rude behavior. The- “I’m sorry I can’t help but to say or notice” and what they is creepy, unwarranted, intrusive, interrupting, offensive etc. Get out of my space! I don’t care that my voice is unusually high pitched or that whatever you noticed or have to say about me.

Image credits: bourbonpuppybaby

#14

We must initiate everything. sex. talking about relationships. planning

Image credits: christine-fights

#15

That women automatically make better caregivers (children or the elderly).

Image credits: DisneyUp

#16

Policing the way women dress instead of policing the way men react to it

Image credits: Late-Willingness-903

#17

That doctors STILL do not provide adequate health care for us. And the fact that we still don’t have autonomy of our bodies (in the US)

Image credits: Super_sassy_cakesf12

#18

Being ok with getting paid less than men for the same job

Image credits: that_other_geek

#19

That older women are automatically jealous of, and are competing with, younger women.

Image credits: wavyheaded

#20

That we all have a maternal instinct. Hahahaha NOPE.

Image credits: catastrophized

#21

That we shouldn’t show anger. Men always talk about how hard it is that when they cry, they’re called a pussy or something like that. I agree that that is a valid issue and I wish it weren’t that way, but I also wish that women could express anger without getting called a b***h or being called irrational. We get asked if we’re menstruating, we get told we’re overreacting. Just once I’d like to feel free to be angry.

Image credits: MrsFrobert

#22

Putting up with any kind of abusive behaviour from their husband. Abuse isn’t just limited to your husband just beating the crap out of you he could be emotional, mental, or verbal abuse! The same thing goes for women who just stay with a man because they want to be a happy family with their kids even though their husband is cheating on them constantly.

Image credits: CosmicSirenMandi

#23

That women can’t be genuine friends with each other.

Image credits: wavyheaded

#24

The concept of virginity.

Image credits: Alice-Xandra

#25

That women are just dying to get married before 30.

Image credits: wavyheaded

#26

That women should be physically smaller than men/petite/dainty/etc in order to be feminine

Image credits: kitnic94

#27

That I’m gonna look good before bed. Like i dont sleep in makeup sorry

Image credits: 246K

#28

That woman have to take birth control (hormonal) in a long term relationship

Image credits: effingneedhelp

#29

Vulgar language is not feminine.

Stopped counting how many times I was told that but I always told them to f**k themselves

Image credits: nebunala4328

#30

Be thin.

Image credits: nokho

#31

That vaginas should be smooth always

Image credits: ruthiebkind

#32

Our focus is only his pleasure

Image credits: christine-fights

#33

We will do domestic labor

Image credits: christine-fights

#34

Being tidy and organized. Not just at home, but even in office settings.

Image credits: FreezingDrizzle

#35

Shaving my legs. Thankfully my husband doesn’t care or I wouldn’t have married him. My chronic pain makes it difficult to shave and legs just say my first adventure in waxing went horribly

Image credits: BakedTaterTits

#36

Ugh, I live in the Southern US & the whole “wife must fix husbands dinner plate before hers or the children’s” is strong here. I get in debates all the time about this—it agitates me to no end. I don’t know why. It just comes off very misogynistic.

The reasoning I’ve heard from people I know is that “if your husband works hard then he should not have to fix his own food when he comes home” as if women don’t also work hard & almost always have to pull the second shift if kids are involved. I don’t understand why it’s such a debate. If it matters who eats first, then it should be the kids. If there’s no kids, then who cares? Both spouses can make their own plate or one (either one) can make both plates. I’m not a housewife or a waitress for my husband. We are equals, we both work & gender roles are outdated as hell.

Image credits: boysenberry_22

#37

That women over 40 have to cut their hair short, like up to their ears.

Image credits: wavyheaded

#38

That women over 50 can’t wear skinny jeans or be trendy.

Image credits: wavyheaded

#39

Giving birth. It is the second most terrifying and painful thing a person can go through, the first is burning alive. The industry is great at hiding the many difficulties of pregnancy just to further the human race. You can permanently lose grey matter in your brain, weaken your bladder, develop allergies?? during and after pregnancy. Don’t even get me started on the labour itself- i have no idea why any informed woman would want that. just google 4th degree tears and you’ll be put off for life

Image credits: Salty-Floor-476

#40

So many men view you differently when ur unapologetically yourself. I’m loud and stand up for myself when I need to and men give you that ‘how dare you look’ and it just fills me with power.

Image credits: Past-Outlandishness5

#41

Being the “peacemaker” in a situation usually including men. Always disliked how women were seen as the “heart” of the family, the one keeping it all together. They want it to sound noble, but it sounds exhausting as hell and unfair. Like no one in a family can function without a woman doing the emotional labor.

I have been a woman of chaos for several moments in my life LOL, not a troublemaker (all the time) but one to stand up for myself in ways that are not expected. They assume I’ll be a peacemaker because I am a woman. HAHA!

Image credits: LetsBeReal24

#42

The concept that women should work-outside the home and do most of the housework. The idea that a stay at home woman is less than a woman who works and has a home.

We went too far the other way with the whole women working concept.

Image credits: Irishsetter14

#43

Being expected to bend or compromise in a situation. Being the one to suck it up for the sake of everyone else.

Image credits: Logical-Cranberry714

#44

Having to push though feeling sick, tried, or in pain to get stuff done.

I have 3 chronic conditions (endometriosis, adenomyosis, and pelvic floor dysfuntion) and im being watched for a 4th (possibly lupus). Ive had to work while in pain, get up and go do housework despite being exhausted or having a migraine. Ive had people accuse me of faking my pain or exhaustion to get out of doing stuff. Bosses have made me break physical therapy orders and make my pelvic floor worse cause they refused to give me help.

Image credits: LavenderSage013

#45

Having to be perfectly groomed all the time

Image credits: aimeed72

#46

A man can walk away from a pregnancy or a family and go on with life without a bat of an eye from society but heaven forbid a woman ever walk away from her kids

Image credits: Cultural-Chart3023

#47

Shaving

Image credits: leafypeep

#48

Being delicate and quiet = being lovable

Image credits: Altruistic-Swing2253

#49

We don’t like/ want sex as much as men. I personally have a much higher sex drive than my SO.

Image credits: maya_mots

#50

If you do have one child, you have to have another. You know, for reasons.

Image credits: thin_white_dutchess

#51

Sex isn’t a right when you’re in a relationship. You have to maintain other parts of the relationship to keep that flame alive. “You must be cheating” isn’t going to make the situation any better.

Image credits: GrandAffectionate708

#52

The pressure to conform our bodies and our sexual behavior, in time consuming, ridiculous and even harmful ways, to whatever unrealistic standard is in style at the time.

Image credits: lastseenhitchhiking

#53

Being event coordinator, sender of household thank you notes, purchasing holiday gifts

Image credits: Altruistic-Ad6449

#54

Our lives and identities being structured around and based upon motherhood and relationships.

Image credits: lastseenhitchhiking

#55

A woman must be lady like

You know how I feel about that one? (Farts loudly) that’s how I feel

Image credits: VeeSquibbles

#56

Staying home and belonging in a kitchen

Image credits: winterbaby26

#57

That we are expected to smile all the time to everyone for no reason at all. Men don’t do this, aren’t expected to and don’t get approached unsolicited from strangers in public with advice to “smile more.”

Image credits: Ld862

#58

Men paying for dates/drinks

Image credits: abv1401

#59

Giving a crap about social anything. Chatting like everyone else when in a new environment. Hosting dinners. Holiday parties. Sending gifts, reminders, thank you notes, etc.

There’s being polite and then there’s expectation. No thanks to expectation.

Image credits: MikkiSticky

#60

To never care about a man’s looks, only his heart or wallet. Looks aren’t everything but for some reason women are expected to put sacrifice their sexual attraction to man just to get one.

Image credits: ButterScotchMagic

#61

Our appearance is for men. I couldn’t care less what they think. I am who I am and they can suck it.

Image credits: philosopherlogic

#62

That we have to strive to be likable. False!

Oh, also that because we are women, we are drawn towards children and mothering them. I’ve never felt maternal towards any human child I’ve ever met.

Image credits: _so_anyways_

#63

That all women want a man/relationship.

I’m happily single for years and don’t want to be in a relationship. I don’t get why people assume that single women aren’t as happy as the ones in a relationship, when it was proven that single women are the happiest population out there.

Image credits: Programmer_girl0

#64

That all women love sex and are “great” at it.

Alot of women hate sex and are not “great” at it.

Image credits: lifesalotofshit

#65

That women can’t do anything. Fixing things, manual labor, etc. I hate when my girlfriends say “I’m waiting on him to do this or that and it’s frustrating.” How about you get off your ass and figure it out like he did. Lol

Image credits: X13M1

#66

That we shouldn’t want/need rest while we are on our periods. Just because we have one every month for years doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable. I’m not saying mine is horrible every month but sometimes it hits me hard and it gets exhausting pretending like I’m not hurting.

Image credits: buzzbombin

#67

I’m tired of having to be “nice” just because I’m a woman. Especially in the workplace where all the men are “allowed” to be jerks.

Image credits: jenneschguet

#68

Anything that is expected of a woman just because she’s a woman.

Image credits: Relative_Dimensions

#69

To be caring and nurturing. To bring cooked food and cakes to the office.

Image credits: schwarzmalerin

#70

The automatic assumption that a woman will take her husband’s last name upon marriage

Image credits: tearsofhunny

#71

That we are somehow better human beings than men, so should behave better than them.

Image credits: Simple_Employee_7094

#72

Asking men out…Apparently, that’s too “forward” and you come off as “creepy” and “clingy” for asking a guy out, despite it being 2022. But then, men don’t ask women out anymore.

What are we supposed to do? This makes bringing back arranged marriage in the Western World look better every single day.

Image credits: mlo9109

#73

ALL OF THEM!!!!

The ones I hate the most are: women shouldn’t even want to be physically strong. Fuck that, it sucks not being as strong as a guy, and I will go to the gym and lift weights.

Women are supposed to want to be sexy and find being objetified empowering. Or they have to be modest and prudish. I really hate that, can’t I just be a normal human with sexual desires without having to either be prudish or overtly sexual

Women aren’t supposed to really have hobbies or passions. I am into things women are really not supposed to be in: welding, magic, basketball and woodworking. I really hate that women aren’t really supposed to have these interests and when we do it is simply because we are trying to impress men or some shit.

Having to cook and clean to please men. I have no problem doing some cooking and cleaning, but I am not some guys maid.

Image credits: Stargazer1186

#74

Wearing stockings/tights at work.

Image credits: yellodello1221

#75

Cooking for a man

How come every time someone asks me about romantic relationships they bring up me cooking for a man?! If I learned how to cook, he can learn how to cook. There are too many resources to not know how.

Image credits: AccomplishedWing9

#76

Not an expectation so much as a societal view: I think the lack of dignity given to jobs related to childcare and education, and the expectation that women who are serious and driven won’t work with children, is messed up.

My take is that raising the next generation of humans is extremely important work, and the only reason people don’t dignify it is BECAUSE it’s associated with women.

Instead of fixing that societal misperception and dignifying that work, people just avoid it (myself included; I ended up teaching/working with children as a last resort after avoiding it because I saw it as “womens work,” but I have found that I actually LOVE it).

Image credits: ResponsibleFinance11

#77

Having children. When I tell people I don’t want kids, they always look at me like I’m crazy and then tell me I’m still young and I’ll change my mind

Image credits: Queenielauren

#78

Looking nice all the time. Sometimes I just wanna be in my bath robe and slippers. I shouldn’t have to doll up all the time.

Image credits: dictatemydew

#79

That exposing my ankles means I’m easy or not “in tact”

Image credits: LezPlayLater

#80

Any expectations for women to wear make-up, heels, skirts, etc. in order to “appear professional.”

Image credits: Vienta1988

Source: boredpanda.com