Despite gender-based violence, payment inequality, and attacks on bodily autonomy, there are still men who believe that, in general, women are just better off. And a subset of these men decide to publicly speak about this idea without doing a bare minimum amount of research.
A TikToker and feminist recently went viral after she debunked another video where a man claimed that women all benefited from what he called “female privilege.” She broke down exactly how he was wrong and gave multiple examples of how people misunderstand the concept of privilege.
Bored Panda has reached out to Kikimay612 via email, and we’ll update the article once we hear back from her.
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While women might get free drinks at a bar, from time to time, this is not nearly enough to be classified as “female privilege”
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
“Every time I hear men talk about supposed female privilege, I start to wonder if growing up in a patriarchal society has caused them to develop a legitimate cognitive impairment”
“You know, they claim to be the more logical, rational sex, but when it comes to having conversations about sexism, misogyny, legitimate male privilege, that just seems to fly out the window.”
Image credits: kikimay612
“They also love to say that women are more emotional, yet the absolute rage they show at just being asked to look in the mirror is nothing short of astounding”
“I have men in my comments sections for literally weeks on end because they are so pressed, they dedicate all of their free time to trolling women, to trolling me.
Trying to argue that the fact that women get half-priced drinks at bars on Thursdays is a privilege that somehow greatly disadvantages them and is equivalent to, oh, I don’t know, let’s say the male privilege of getting to make your own healthcare decisions. Women are literally dying of sepsis because they are being denied lifesaving abortions because men have decided that they should control what women do with their bodies and you’re gonna talk to me about half-price drinks!
The amazing thing is this question of what the f**k is wrong with dudes’ brains sent me down a research rabbit hole where I actually discovered that there’s a body of sociological and psychological research that shows that male privilege actually negatively affects men’s development as human beings. In fact, this same body of research shows that even though men will cry, you know, male discrimination or bemoan mythical female privilege, the reality is they actually don’t care. It does not have any effect on their mental health and well-being. Meanwhile, when women are targeted by gender discrimination or are confronted by that and think about it, it shows a direct correlation between decreased mental health and well-being, increased stress, with decreased self-esteem.”
Image credits: kikimay612
“I’m gonna wager a little guess and say that if there actually were a concerted systemic effort to disadvantage men, they would actually be mentally impacted. But there isn’t”
“So they aren’t. And I could just duet this video I’m about to show in part two by staring blankly ahead and not saying a thing, and women would recognize the message, which is that it is comical for men to try to argue that they somehow are disadvantaged on the same systemic level as women and that they are somehow held to higher accountability standards.”
Image credits: kikimay612
“Let’s talk about how female privilege is a myth”
“But I’m not one for staying silent and on the off chance that even one man has enough brain tissue left to understand the argument I’m about to make, I think it’s worth it.”
“I could really sit here and name 30 privileges that women have.”
Image credits: kikimay612
“I’m gonna start really simple so everybody can get it through their little noggins”
“When we talk about male privilege, we’re talking about the fact that men are advantaged on a systemic level; socially, culturally, economically, politically, and academically. This is based solely on the fact that they have a d*ck or that they are male presenting, not on the fact that they are substantively smarter or more skilled, or more deserving than women. Male privilege does not refer to a single, solitary occurrence of the use of power. It refers to structures of power that inherently disadvantage women to a substantive degree.”
Image credits: kikimay612
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“This can be very glaring and obvious in action”
“Like the fact that men make more than women for doing the same jobs or the fact that r*pe is severely under-prosecuted across every single state. Or this can be more subtle in action, like the fact that men’s pain is taken more seriously by doctors or the fact that men don’t have to worry about being passed up for promotions because they have children or want to have children soon. Or the fact that male r*pists get painted by our media as poor boys who have lost their opportunity for a bright future. Meanwhile, the victims of their rape are ridiculed.
Female privilege, on the other hand, as men have painted is indeed a single solitary use of power when they talk about buying a girl a drink at a bar or having to pay for the dinner bill. These things are almost always relegated to this small private sphere, and they do not contribute to a pattern of measurable disadvantaging of men.”
Image credits: kikimay612
“You might not get your d*ck wet like you were hoping for, but that’s it”
“And the funny thing is you can’t recognize that the expectations that you do these things are a direct result of the patriarchal society that you continue to maintain. You want to both take advantage of these toxic ideas of masculinity and bemoan them when it suits you. So you wanna be seen as natural-born leaders who are entitled to whatever you want, but you also don’t wanna be seen as leaders if it means that you have to pay for a meal.
The idea that women are privileged because they benefit from these acts of chivalry from men ignores the fact that this perpetuates the patriarchal idea that women are somehow weaker and need men’s support. But it is also ignoring the fact that a lot of times, these acts of chivalry are completely unwanted. And time and time again, we see that when women reject these acts, they are raped, abused, and murdered. So let’s talk about accountability and the bottom line in part three.”
“Women are not forced to take accountability. That’s the biggest privilege y’all have. Nobody holds women accountable for bad decision-making, but everybody holds men accountable.”
Image credits: kikimay612
“Not sure what reality you’re living in, friend…”
“…but here in my hellscape, we elected a man who has a well-documented history of outright misogyny, sexual abuse, and r*pe, including accusations of child r*pe, to be the president of the United States. Clarence Thomas and Brett Kavanaugh were appointed to the highest court in the land despite having similarly spectacular histories. And that is not to mention that I bet every favorite male actor of yours, and every favorite NFL player of yours is a poster boy for domestic violence.”
Image credits: kikimay612
“The idea that men have now been getting away with this for hundreds of years and are continuing to get away with it is willful and weaponized ignorance”
“In fact, the research shows that y’all know you have the privilege. We are no longer talking about the idea of an invisible knapsack of privilege where you don’t recognize all the ways that you oppress women. No, we are talking about how you willfully reframe it and ignore it so that you can continue to benefit from it. This research shows that you see your privilege as an individual personal achievement, or you see it as a direct result of having a male body, and that is the most toxically gendered, neoliberal bulls**t I have ever f**king heard.”
Image credits: kikimay612
“The bottom line is this: Just ’cause y’all had a sh**ty girlfriend once or because you can shout from the rooftops proudly that you’ve never hit a woman, congratulations”
“That doesn’t mean that male privilege and women’s resulting oppression does not exist. And I’ll very gladly continue to drink those free drinks you very stupidly give me because I need liquor to deal with this constant nonsense day in and day out. Please get f**ked.”
You can watch the full video here
@kikimay612 #female #privlege is a myth ya’ll – #men are reaching so hard it’s laughable #feminism #misogyny #patriarchy #maleprivilege #fyp #dating #relationships #toxicmasculinity #easter #wheneverwherever ♬ original sound – KikiMay
@kikimay612 #female #privlege is a myth part 2 #feminism #men #fyp #patriarchy #chivalry #dating #relationships #misogyny #toxicmasculinity #easter #wheneverwherever ♬ original sound – KikiMay
@kikimay612 #female #privlege is a myth part 3 the final part #feminism #fyp #men #dating #relationships #patriarchy #sexism #misogyny #maleprivilege #easter #wheneverwherever #toxicmasculinity ♬ original sound – KikiMay
Privilege refers to structures of power that are larger than any one person and their experience
As mentioned in the video above, privilege is not a solitary advantage. A person who happens to be stronger than another is not benefiting from “strength privilege,” unless they live in a society that really does discriminate by physical power. The video being debunked lists a number of somewhat niche “advantages” that women receive. These involve sometimes getting free drinks, though they aren’t quite free, they come with the assumption that the man has now “bought” some time with the woman. Since the man pays the bartender, the woman doesn’t really get a say in the matter. Even if we stick to this primitive and limited “advantage,” this often is just a way that predators attempt to drug their victims. About one-third of all sexual assault cases involve “date rape drugs,” administered to unsuspecting victims. In other words, getting possibly drugged drinks “for free” is not the advantage some men make it out to be.
More importantly, this doesn’t even fit as an element of privilege. Women not at the bars frequented by these men don’t “benefit” from free drinks or meals. Instead, the concept refers to larger-scale structures. Businesses are more likely to hire men due to ingrained, structural beliefs that they are better workers (with little evidence to support it) and carry a lower “risk” to the company, as, managers believe, they won’t need to go on maternity leave. At scale, this creates fewer opportunities for women which in turn perpetuates the idea that men are better workers, since there are, to the eyes of these hypothetical managers, more of them in the workplace. Even worse, women also suffer from being paid less to do the same job, at about 32% lower wages compared to men in the US alone.
Angry men often “shoot the messenger” and attack the women who try to explain what privilege is
The idea of male privilege often draws the ire of men who refuse to accept that some things are simply easier for them. Instead, it would be worth examining the reality that there are downsides to male privilege. Not all men benefit equally, as those who differ from established norms might be ostracized or not classified as “men.” In nations like India and China, male privilege leads to disproportionate demographics, where selective abortions mean that many families keep boys and abort girls. The result is that thousands of men may not be able to find a partner in the future because there simply are not enough girls.
The men that gain the least benefit from male privilege tend to suffer at the hands of privileged males. This often manifests as bullying and domestic violence, but the abused males tend to be blind to what actually caused their misery. Instead of targeting the toxic masculinity and competitive structures imposed on them by patriarchal norms, they “shoot the messenger” and lash out at, predominantly, the women who try to explain privilege and all it entails.
Women shared their experiences regarding entitled men, male privilege, and gender-based discrimination
The post Woman Explains How Ridiculous “Female Privilege” Claims Sound When You Check In With Reality first appeared on Bored Panda.
Source: boredpanda.com